The Begging Bowl

**DrunkenArse** · 08-02-2012 03:36 AM

First let me assure you that I am indeed worthy to start this thread.

While I was busking with my Ukulele in front of the Kihei Foodland the other day, an old Thai lady approached me and insisted on giving me a dollar to "pay for my time". She told me that I was a Buddha. She told me that I was like Jesus. In particular, she said that I was an incarnation of the "Lazy Buddha". I forget the Thai name but apparently there is a huge temple where she died. I'll find a respectable reference. I know she's not crazy because she's a respectable business owner and greeted several other respectable business owners (which normally kick me off their property without a second thought) during the duration in which she was speaking to me. Since then, they've actually approached me for conversation rather than kick me out. This is kinda serious. First I've known this (in spite of every rationalist attempt that I've made to deny it)for as long as I can remember. Second, she pointed at herself and said "I don't have Buddha eyes." Then she pointed at the woman sitting next to me and said "She doesn't have Buddha eyes". Then she pointed at everybody in the parking lot and said "None of them have Buddha eyes." Then she pointed at me and said "You have Buddha eyes. You are the only one." There's another very old Japanese lady that also takes special interst in me even though her English is even shittier than the old Thai lady's.

(I owe the phrase "during the duration" to Thomas Pynchon. I didn't lift it from him but I doubt that I would have thought of it if not for him. I've only just started reading his novel Vineland but it kicked Mark Helprin from my number one spot already. This is especially impressive because I am assured by his critics that Vineland is his worst novel. Apparently the best is either Mason & Dixon [The next novel I'm going to read, being that it's the only other one of his books in the library and I can't order any others because my library card is missing and there are currently two bench warrants out for my arrest so I can't get a new one] or Gravity's Rainbow. For comparison, good introductory novels by Helprin are Memoir From Antproof Case and Soldier of the Great War [That's WWI for the historically challenged]. After those, try Winter's Tale but remember that a work of art by a mere mortal that reaches that far must inevitably end with said mere mortal falling on his/her ass. [This is why I love Phish, Widespread Panic and The Grateful Dead. They always let you see it!] Then look at Pynchon.)

At any rate, the Begging Bowl is an old Buddhist tradition. And I've going to emply it.

I need about 900 "Market Hall" (or whatever) points so that I can change my user name.

I want my new username to be DrunkenMaster. This is appropriate because I have training in martial arts, I love being drunk, and I am a master (of sevaral things). Kickdowns would be appriciated. If anybody else needs any of these "Market Hall" (or whatever) points, feel free to post your requirements and goal in this thread as well.

Hopefully, we'll get some kickdowns.

**melanieb** · 08-02-2012 04:08 AM

The Legend, eh?

No points for you!

I do offer a hug of encouragement.

**dakotahnok** · 08-02-2012 04:58 AM

I think about 90% of the content in that post was not needed.

I kinda like the idea of the thread though. Maybe this should go to the lounge. If I'm correct this is a place for people to post if they want points for something specific in the community hall. And the people with no need for points will give it to them?

I will give you my points, but im not sure how many I have.

EDIT: I gave you 889 points. So I guess you still need a few more! Tell me if you recieve them, I know changes in the community hall takes some time. But it still says i have the same amount of points.

**Linkzelda** · 08-02-2012 05:38 AM

I donated 11 points to you as well, hope you enjoy the name change. I better see some kick downs on the ED section (I know you remember how stupid I was in one of them).

**OpheliaBlue** · 08-02-2012 06:11 AM

Moved to SB.

**Linkzelda** · 08-02-2012 06:34 AM

**Seroquel** · 08-02-2012 06:40 AM

Will suck dick for points.
(srs)

**DrunkenArse** · 08-02-2012 10:02 PM

Originally Posted by dakotahnok

I think about 90% of the content in that post was not needed.

I kinda like the idea of the thread though. Maybe this should go to the lounge. If I'm correct this is a place for people to post if they want points for something specific in the community hall. And the people with no need for points will give it to them?

I will give you my points, but im not sure how many I have.

EDIT: I gave you 889 points. So I guess you still need a few more! Tell me if you recieve them, I know changes in the community hall takes some time. But it still says i have the same amount of points.

Thank you kindly. I'll be getting a few more points (probably from making fun of Omis in ED) and then I'll change my name. Maybe I'll think of a new one.

Originally Posted by Linkzelda

I donated 11 points to you as well, hope you enjoy the name change. I better see some kick downs on the ED section (I know you remember how stupid I was in one of them).

I'm not sure how I would give you a kick down in the ED section. I'll continue to be as brutally honest as I can possibly be though. If you had something else in mind then I'm not sure what to tell you. The donation is greatly appreciated

Originally Posted by OpheliaBlue

Moved to SB.

Why? I made an honest request, dished out some invaluable literary advice and told a true story. What does this have to do with senseless banter. Is it because I was drunk when I posted that? It is isn't it. Well that's drugism. I bet if I'd been stoned, you wouldn't have minded at all.

Consider moving dumb questions from the on-topic section to SB and leaving my meta threads alone. I posted it in an off-topic section and so frankly consider this to be an abuse of power on your part. Though, in principle, powerful, hot women abusing their power is incredibly sexy to me I consider this to be going too far. Unless you bring Nina into it. Then that would be two hot, powerful women abusing me. I call that a party.

Originally Posted by Seroquel

Will suck dick for points.
(srs)

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. Seroquel, you're pure gold. Don't ever let anybody tell you otherwise, not even me. And I might try at some point too.

**OpheliaBlue** · 08-02-2012 10:29 PM

Originally Posted by PhilosopherStoned

Why? I made an honest request, dished out some invaluable literary advice and told a true story. What does this have to do with senseless banter. Is it because I was drunk when I posted that? It is isn't it. Well that's drugism. I bet if I'd been stoned, you wouldn't have minded at all.

Consider moving dumb questions from the on-topic section to SB and leaving my meta threads alone. I posted it in an off-topic section and so frankly consider this to be an abuse of power on your part. Though, in principle, powerful, hot women abusing their power is incredibly sexy to me I consider this to be going too far. Unless you bring Nina into it. Then that would be two hot, powerful women abusing me. I call that a party.

Lol I honestly meant no disrespect. I thought you might actually get more points donated if it was in here. And it doesn't really belong in meta in my opinion. If the rest of staff disagrees with me on that, I'd consider moving it back. I should have PMed you explaining all that when I moved the post but I forgot, sorry (it was nearly 1am and I was pooped).

**DrunkenArse** · 10-03-2012 05:45 AM

It's OK Ophelia, all is forgiven

Thanks to everybody that donated I only had to make fun of new-agers and troll the staff on their home field for a little bit to earn enough points to get my spiffy new username!

Isn't it nice?