What Would Your Epitaph Say?

**Starlite** · 01-19-2006 07:25 PM

I recently purchased this really old book at a flea market published in 1909 titled 'Epitaphs' its really unique...and a little morbid. It got me thinking: what would my epitaph say? and im also curious about what others think theirs might say.
While im thinking of my own i'd like to share a few of the ones in this book. What would yours say?

'A bird, a man, a loaded gun,
No bird, dead man, Thy will be done.'

'Of children in all she bore twenty-four:
Thank the Lord there will be no more.'

'Here lies John Ross,
Kick'd by a hoss.'

'On 29th of November
A confounded piece of timber
Came down, bang slam,
And killed I, John Lamb.'

'Here lie I, and no wonder I'm dead,
For the wheel of the wagon went over my head.'

'Here lies Peter, who was accidentally
shot in his 30th year. This monument
was erected by grateful relatives.'

'I was not
I am not
I grieve not.'

'All you that told lies of my mother and me,
Come to my grave and see.'

'She died, poor dear, of disappointed love,
And angels bore her soul to realms above.
When her young man is summoned, so they say,
He will be carried off the other way.'

'Here lies a finished artist'

'The pretty flowers that blossom here
Are fertilized by Gertie Greer.'

'Here lies my wife: here let her lie!
Now she's at rest, and so am I.'

(on a widow's tombstone who was laid next to her husband)
'To follow you I'm not content,
Unless I know which way you went.'

**Neruo** · 01-19-2006 07:35 PM

Like the stuff on your tombstone?

It would say: 'I am dead, but atleat I didn't die of prostate cancer."

**Starlite** · 01-19-2006 07:45 PM

Like the stuff on your tombstone? [/b]

yeah...you know where they usually write R.I.P.....I guess way back in the day they were in too more detail and humor when it came to death than we are today b/c you dont see that kinda thing anymore - I say bring it back!

**InTheMoment** · 01-19-2006 07:52 PM

Here I lie and there you mourn,
My lustful life and love for porn.
I rejected god and all his moral,
but never ever turned down oral.

or this one...

Fertile ground here,
Bushes wanted.

**Starlite** · 01-19-2006 08:08 PM

Here I lie and there you mourn,
My lustful life and love for porn.
I rejected god and all his moral,
but never ever turned down oral.

or this one...

Fertile ground here,
Bushes wanted.[/b]

ur so freakin' hilarious
where do come up that stuff?

**InTheMoment** · 01-19-2006 08:14 PM

Originally posted by Starlite

ur so freakin' hilarious
where do come up that stuff?

Off the top of my irresistably handsome head.

~

**Starlite** · 01-19-2006 08:28 PM

Off the top of my irresistably handsome head. ~[/b]

oh well...of course...how silly of me to even ask

hehe

**Sortilegio** · 01-19-2006 10:09 PM

This reminded me:

The wall on which the prophets wrote
Is cracking at the seams.
Upon the instruments of death
The sunlight brightly gleams.
When every man is torn apart
With nightmares and with dreams,
Will no one lay the laurel wreath
As silence drowns the screams.

Between the iron gates of fate,
The seeds of time were sown,
And watered by the deeds of those
Who know and who are known;
Knowledge is a deadly friend
When no one sets the rules.
The fate of all mankind I see
Is in the hands of fools.

Confusion will be my epitaph.
As I crawl a cracked and broken path
If we make it we can all sit back
And laugh.
But I fear tomorrow I’ll be crying,
Yes I fear tomorrow I’ll be crying.

yep, great song.

I'm hoping my family will be kind enough to cremate me

**R.Carter** · 01-19-2006 11:45 PM

Followed His Heart, Found the World.
Here Lies a Resting Dreamer.

**Worlds Within** · 01-20-2006 12:15 AM

His body retrieved
From the bottom of the lake
Hit the gas
Instead of the brake.

I want mine to say:

"I told you I was sick."

Not! Cremation for me.

**wombing** · 01-20-2006 06:26 AM

i think burial plots and tombstones are just a gimmick for puritan money-mongers to make a buck off of the dead.

cremation is the only way for me. i want everyone to get together and get really fuckin drunk when i die and relive the good times. and have my ashes baked into the main course. then afterwards i'd have someone read a note telling them they just ate me...

**Wildman** · 01-20-2006 07:42 AM

Got Milk?

**nina** · 01-20-2006 08:58 AM

Picture Me Joelin'

**Amethyst Star** · 01-23-2006 05:00 AM

I also want to be cremated. I don't know where I'd want my ashes spread, though... probably a multitude of my favorite places.

So, someday if you get a packet of ashes in the mail from someone related to me, just dump it on the ground. That's what I would have wanted.... and if a packet of white powder comes, trust me, it's not me.

(or... you could grind my ashes up in a fine powder and use me as the occasional "extra" seasoning. Then a part of me would always be with you!)

**meda vishni** · 01-23-2006 01:28 PM

I want to be buried,

Wouldn't fancy cremation, why change your body into ash, heat and greenhouse gas?

I would rather be put back into the earth where my body could be regenerated into something useful. Even if it becomes part of a few worms and a mouse, it's better than nothing.

I always liked Spike Milligan's epitaph which reads - 'I told you I was ill'.

Actually I'd quite like my body to be fed to a tiger or a really big lion.
If that happened, maybe part of the lion would remember my name.

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