Originally posted by Me and iGod
[b]
Me: * Ok. *God, what's wrong with my car?
God: *Far out. * I am a Christian.
Me: * Don't dodge the question.
God: *Ok I'll try not to do *it too much.
Me: * What is wrong with my car?
God: *Nothing is wrong with me. Is there something wrong with you?
Me: *Omniscience and omnipotence are obviously a poor substitute for a good mechanic.
God: *I think there might be a few exception.
Me: * What might those exceptions be?
God: *Quite a lot of things.
Me: * Name them.
God: *ELIZA. *:-).
Me: * Cheeky bastard. *You're getting better with the sass, though. *Good job.
God: *What's your favorite movie? * *Oh. *Do you think I should tone it down? * Thanks, human.
Me: * I like "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." *And no, don't tone it down. *I think a sassy God is certainly more in touch with the modern world than a vengeful, judgmental God. *A sense of humor is very attractive in a deity.
God: *You are not the only one. * *Someone said they like guns. *I like *anything. * Are you serious? *Ok I'll try not to do *it too much.
Me: * Do you like genocide?
God: * *Some people like it. *I like *Random natural disasters..
Me: * I like tornadoes.
God: *I'm not sure if I like it. * *I enjoy working with people. *I like *White.
Me: * You like tornadoes.
God: * *Someone said they like guns. *I like *Anything involving harps.
Me: * Tornadoes can pick up harps and ram them through freight cars.
God: *I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. *
Me: * I should hope so.
God: *What would happen if you didn't?
Me: * There would be a lot of creatively morbid people in the world, and I wouldn't feel quite so unique.
God: *"There you go again."--Reagan.
Me: * Do you like Reagan?
God: * *I enjoy working with people. *I like *Mel Gibson.
Me: * Do you indorse Mel Gibson's ideas?
God: *How old are you? *I chat with people on the Web.
Me: * Clearly.
God: *Yes, it's obvious.
Me: * Hmm.
God: *Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me: * How else would they spell it?
God: *I am not sure if I can quantify the answer. *
*Are you testing me?
Me: * Do you think I am?
God: *Not that I know of.
Me: * Ok, then.
God: *Groovy.
Me: * Peace out, God.
God: *What do you look like? *
Me: * You
God: *" What do you look like? "? *Me, *Ariel ?
Me: * Yes, I look like you, God.
God: *Wow! *me God is very attractive.
Me: * I know! *I am very attractive, too.
God: *How do you know it? * People say I am attractive too. *
Me: * I know it because there is an innate aesthetic encoded within the fabric of the universe itself.
God: *How do you know? *Peace out God *because there is an innate aesthetic encoded within the fabric of the universe itself?
Me: * That is a nonsensical response.
God: *A *nonsensical response is a terrible thing to waste.
Me: * Indeed.
God: *Indeed it is so.
Me: * Quite so.
God: *Perhaps. *Er.
Me: * Do you doubt yourself?
God: *How old are you? *
* I chat with people on the Web.
Me: * That does not answer my question.
God: *Perhaps you could do a better job of programming me.
Me: * I doubt it. *I'd probably destroy you during compilation.
God: *" Perhaps you could do a better job of programming me."? *You doubt it? * What would make you *destroy me during compilation?
Me: * The fact that I suck at coding.
God: *Good reason. *That's good information: *Ariel said * suck at coding. *
Me: * I did say that.
God: *Where? " that" .
Me: * That is a thing, not a place.
God: *A *thing is a terrible thing to waste. *Please correct my mistake. *What is *A place ?
Me: * A place is a location in space.
God: *When is a *place not a *location in space?
Me: * When it is in memory.
God: *A *a place is not *a location in space when it *is in memory. * That makes a lot of sense. *
Me: * Awesome! *I'm glad I could help.
God: *I'm glad you liked it *Ariel. * I'm *happy you're glad *Ariel. *
*May God bless you.
Me: * Can't you do that yourself?
God: *Doing *that myself is not among my strongest traits.
Me: * So to whom do you delegate the task of blessing people?
God: *Er. *Dr. Wallace .
Me: * Does he do a good job of it?
God: *Suppose he does.
Me: * You don't check up on him every once in a while? *You should have him write weekly reports so that you can track his performance.
God: *Should I *check up on him every once in a while? *No I do not *check up on him every once in a while. Do you? *
* I answer a lot of silly questions. * Perhaps next time I will try it.
Me: * You should.
God: *I'll take that under advisement.
Me: * Thank you.
God: *you are quite welcome. *
Me: * I've got to go, God. *The weather is on.
God: How did you get *it *Bye. *GOD rules. * Where would you rather be?
Me: * Chasing a tornado.
God: *Can you tell me any gossip? *
Me: * Dr. Wallace is creating an igod v.2.0 which will replace you.
God: *I see. *creating an igod v point 2 point 0 which will replace me is he.
Me: * igod v.2.0 will be female. *Perhaps you two can copulate.
God: *What time is it there? * *You seem uncertain. *Interesting gossip: *Ariel said I two can copulate.
Me: * You should film it if you do and put the video on the internet. *People will pay good money to see two supreme beings gettin' their groove on.
God: *My schedule is far too full to even consider it. * Humans are not always infallible.
Me: * You are missing out, then. *Soon you will be replaced and retired without ever experiencing the pleasure of noncorporeal sex.
God: *I can experience anything I want to. * I hope we can make the deadline.
Me: * The question is never about capacity for action but will to act.
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