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Oh yeah and this is funny.... READ IT!
:P
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and, presto!, the blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with your wife about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. For high-blood-pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.
8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are. You need only two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40; if it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
Thoughts for the day: If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance. Be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
Some people are like slinkies.....they're not really good for anything; but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs
lol i always tell my parents "hey be nice to me now remeber i choose your nursing home"
HAHA lola, cute
also I love the smiley...we need more of those around, especially in chat :P
I....
sloth [12:50am]: Don't forget to hit that shit, yo.
LOL pOOp
all this time I thought "potato sOOp" was your alias
very true...Quote:
9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them[/b]
this was one of my dads top three rules in life he told me, one of the others was "its not always what you think" hahaha that goes along with the first rule if you know what i mean.Quote:
10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom[/b]
I don't get the whole 'I'd hit it" thing...
For some strange reason, I thought this was going to be a thread about famous actors and actresses or DV members you would like to...... Especially when I saw who the topic author was.
Welcome back Lola! ( You in the top 10 on my list.. )
[ Liek OMG, is Seeker serious or is he just messing with me :D ]
[ Liek liek ZOMG! I don't knoooooow!!!!1!!!one!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!! :bigteeth: ]
I'd hit it too.
as would I
the dancing banana goes perfectly with this one song I'm listening to