Thread: I'm Baffled

So, I guess I must have really pissed off some movie-goer in years past, because I'm cursed with misfortune whenever I set foot into a theater. I've gotten to the point where I start labeling people as they enter the room, such as "the interrogator", "the replier", "in denial", and "the spaz". What do these mean? The interrogator always questions what is going on, because they cannot ever figure out to watch he movie for themselves. They can only like a movie if it is being told to them via a middleman telling them what is going on. The replier has this compelling need to reply, quite loudly I might add, to absolutely everything that anyone says, does, or relates to in the movie. Such quotes from the replier are:





HM,
HAH,
REALLY?,
OH MY GOD,
NO!,
AMEN!,
DON'T GO IN THERE, BOB!
Its astounding.

These are usually the parents/guardians of "the spaz", because they are too busy relating to the movie, that they aren't watching their kid beat the shit out of the chair in front of them. I have for the past 5 times I've walked into a theater, had a spaz beat the shit out of the back of my chair. I'm almost 6 ft tall, and was very comfortable not near the chair in front of me. So why on earth would a 4 ft tall kid have a need to kick the chair? Really. The chair didn't do anything to deserve the punishment, neither did the chair's occupant.
Finally the people in denial. They need to do something so blindingly retarded that they call attention to themselves, and deny everything that they are doing, such as having a cell phone go off. Then they proceed saying they are not on it or better, they decide to say "Well, its not a cell phone for your information, its my thing that isn't a cell phone but does the same thing. Now excuse me, but could you turn down the volume on the movie? I can't hear a word this telelmarketer is saying to me."



I've seen it done.
I must have really pissed off that movie goer, because he's now condemned me to meet these Sins of the Film in the flesh everytime I want to see something. Its terrible really.... and if anyone does say "It happens to us all", then why haven't we done something practical, like having thugs line the walls of the theater? So when they see a problem, they stealthily go over and beat the hell out of the problem, such as a spaz. The "Please turn off your cell phones" and such doesn't get to anyone. We had three messages in the theater, one being from a staff member, and it had absolutely no affect.

I'm feeling quite violent at the moment, and I wish I had another Yoda to stab.




Oh, and from what I could make out, Pirates was nice.