Thread: Free Porn! (girl Troubles)

Waka waka.

la amor... *sigh*

You're not helping. This is a very distressing situation y'know. No time for joking around.

I lold

is she hot? you should just bang her, I mean if she's real.

moved to Senseless

Originally Posted by Burns

moved to Senseless
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that was fast.

(40minutes? i guess thats not too too fast.)

Originally Posted by ;359964

is she hot? you should just bang her, I mean if she's real.
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Here here.

detox first though, or things could get messy.

Originally Posted by ;359964

is she hot? you should just bang her, I mean if she's real.
[/b]

But.. that would go against her beliefs! I don't want an uncomfortable situation.

I don't think people are even reading it anymore now that its in senseless.. =/

or, at least not reading it all the way through.

=( Burns, see what you did? You made me sad =(

SAD.

I actually believed you until the exploding part. I'm too bloody gullibe.

I changed the title so more people read it =P

lol i totally thought this was about porn.. then i read "(girl troubles)" DAMN.. lol just kidding.. not really.. kinda.. bleh

Okay, heres what you do.

With the advances in modern technology, you put her head back together. That is assuming it blew up into recognizable peices. If it blew up into a squishy pile of goop, then your only option is to drink it through a straw and make her a part of you. However, on average, a person who's head explodes because of allergies, it explodes into recognizable peices. So I'm assuming thats your case. The laser treatment will make it seem like there is no damage, and she will not remember you using your mouth as a nuclear weapon.

It is at this point that you refrain from penut butter. Instead use Cheeze Wiz as a substitute. You can now safely have a relationship with exploding-head-girl. The added bonus is you know her weakness, so when the day finally comes when your at each other's throats and screaming at each other, you can just dump a jar of penut butter on her morning fruitloops.

But her parents won't let me near the body. They don't understand. Its not a body thing. We're like soulmates.

But then they just blabber something incoherent about me being a murderer and killing their daughter. Some people just don't seem to understand. Exept for the judge when they asked for a first degree murder charge against me.

But, I escaped from prison and am on the run. I'm now wanted in 26 countries but that A-Okay. I've been hiding in a cave right under their noses with the best wireless connection the world has ever witnessed.

WHERE THE FUCK IS THE PORN?????????????????!

Alright, theres this girl from work. Shes nice and pretty and funny and I really like her. I don't know if it'll work out tho =/

Like, there was this one time. She needed to walk home from work in the dark but was too scared to.

So, because she lives close to me, I decided to escort her. It was going pretty smoothly. But then she sprung something on me. Shes a total christian fundamentalist.

I was totally taken aback by this (being a borderline athiest). and I led the conversation away from such topics just to avoid any sticky situations.

Anyways, for part of the trip we had to pass through an un-lit ravine. (this being the part she was afraid of)

We were about halfway through when we head a loud snap from the woods. She freaked out and latched on to my arm. I assured her it has just a squirel or something and put my arm around her. She in return put her arms around me in what was plainly more then just an "I'm freaked out" hug.

After a while, when we were almost at her house she asked "Do you like me?"

I said "Yes"

Then she asked "Do you love me"

Being unsure of what to say I said "I'm not really sure"

By now we were at her front porch and her eyes glittered in the light from her house.

I thought, what the hell. "You wanna go on a date?"

"Only on one condition"

"What"

"Give me a kiss"

I wasn't sure If her parents were watching but I didn't care. Our faces were really close by now. In the middle of the kiss she suddenly pulled back.

My life got flipped, turned upside down
And Id like to take a minute just sit right there
Ill tell you how I became the prince of a town called bel-air
In west philadelfia born and raised
On the playground where I spent most of my days
Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool
And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys said were up in no good
Started making trouble in my neighbourhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
And said youre moving with your aunte and uncle in bel-air
I whistled for a cab and when it came near the
Licensplate said fresh and had a dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought now forget it, yo home to bel-air
I pulled up to a house about seven or eight
And I yelled to the cabby yo, home smell you later
Looked at my kingdom I was finally there
To settle my throne as the prince of bel-air

Originally Posted by PhantomBPR

WHERE THE FUCK IS THE PORN?????????????????!
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On the internets.

I want my free porn, NOW!!!!!!!!!&# 33;!!!!!!!!!&# 33;!!!!!!!!

Well i think you should give their parent some peanuts so they will die.

Originally Posted by arby

But her parents won't let me near the body. They don't understand. Its not a body thing. We're like soulmates.

But then they just blabber something incoherent about me being a murderer and killing their daughter. Some people just don't seem to understand. Exept for the judge when they asked for a first degree murder charge against me.

But, I escaped from prison and am on the run. I'm now wanted in 26 countries but that A-Okay. I've been hiding in a cave right under their noses with the best wireless connection the world has ever witnessed.
[/b]

Where exactly is this cave?

Originally Posted by PhantomBPR

Where exactly is this cave?
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X marks the spot. There be treasure buried here. Yar.

Originally Posted by arby

X marks the spot. There be treasure buried here. Yar.
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YO HO! Shiver me timbers I was in that cave once. Check the back of the cave for a "surprise" I left it there my first journey in. Not to spoil the surprise, but here's a little hint:

MAYO!

I LOL'd at the ending.. unexpected to the MAX.