I heard some kids yelling at each other in school today and realized that I haven't heard a good insult in a very long time. I mean one that is really good, one that completely shuts down the other person. Does anybody here know a good insult?
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I heard some kids yelling at each other in school today and realized that I haven't heard a good insult in a very long time. I mean one that is really good, one that completely shuts down the other person. Does anybody here know a good insult?
Call them a "Genetic mistake."
Call them an error, or tell them they have a face for radio. Yeah I know I suck.
Your momma is so fat, she can't even spell fat!
"May 1000 locusts infest your crotch."
If you are yelling some word that has nothing to do with the other person, it will might not be hurt. It is best to base the insult on a weak side of theirs; if it is fat for example, call it a fatass, lardass, tubby or anything else that has to do with their weight in an insulting manner.
http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e2...makeitstop.gif I hope no one ever says that to me.Quote:
Originally Posted by arby
You're momma's breath is so bad, people look forward to when she farts...
yo mama's so ugly, when robbers came she yelled "RAPE!" they yelled "HELL NO!"
Your momma is so dumb, she can't even fit through the door.
For some reason reason, this topic reminds of the following line from one of the best Westerns ever made: "Fill your hands, you son-of-a-bitch!"
But anyway, "May your hair be replaced by a thousand striking vipers, your teeth become as barbs in your festered gums, your skin tormented by the pain of a million angered wasps, and your genitals be eaten slowly by maggots over the course of a hundred years' time." Is a good old-fashioned one...
The best insults are custom fitted for the person you are insulting. Note any annoying qualities or features that they are likely to be self-conscious about and exploit them. Of course if you are just joking around with them something like this would be more fun.
You: so how is that test in history?
Victim: oh it's real long and hard.
You: that's what your mom said last night.
Too long, "That's what she said" usually works better, and requires the same amount of wit (none).Quote:
Originally Posted by Led
"That's what she said."
"HAH! I don't get it..."
"Grapes. Seductive."
yes, but that is for a mutual laugh. It has no insulting value (although it can in some situations)Quote:
Originally Posted by MSG
Michael Scott - Regional Manager for Dunder Mifflan.
Your mom sucks...sometimes... my dick
^^^^^ :bigteeth:
Quote:
Originally Posted by MSG
your mom is such a whore she’ll go down for fewer logical reasons than WTC 7.
Say, "Your mother is so fat, when she puts on a red dress all the kids yell, 'Hey, Kool-Aid!'" Then he will say some mother stuff. After a few mother exchanges, say, "Let's get off the mothers. I just got off yours." If somebody uses that line on you, say, "I just got yours off."
"I hear your dog bangs your mother even better than you do."
"Does your mother sell potato chips? The other day, I saw her holding a sign that says, 'Lay's... $10.'"
If you are called a "mother fucker", say, "Then get your mother off the streets."
(the memories of junior high...)
Clever :wink:
Does your mom still charge a nickel for a blowjob, or has it been a dime ever since I kicked her teeth out?
I like that one, but seems impractical, hard to say on the spot,Quote:
Originally Posted by Replicon
You could say : I gave your bitch a treat last night, and she loved it!
butthat's also impractical....oh well
The F-word:
Jew.
Jew is a nice insult. I will only use it when joking around with friends, though, usually calling them "Jewbags".
Please describe to me how Jew is an insult.
Thanks to South Park basically. Not like 'Jew' really is more of a curse word then calling a (white) friend a Mexican. (Hell, Mexicans make fine burritos. )Quote:
Originally Posted by bro
Also, 'AIDS' is funny while it shouldn't be.
Yeah it is funny, how would you use it, : "I pray for the day that you aquire AIDS and die from a collapsing immune system: (not very funny i must say, but im still laughing :shock: ) or the S.p episode with AIDS, that was some funny stuff :wink:Quote:
Originally Posted by Neruo
lol I am laughing too. (not out loud, but a bit. Inside. Okay I just smiled, that is all.)Quote:
Originally Posted by bro
Anyhows: I use AIDS in the context:
*insert friend's name* Has AIDS, that lazy seamen-puking-vagina. (all meant lovingly and friendly.)
*insert friend's name* his new haircut is AIDS / has AIDS.
*insert object/movie/anything* has AIDS, it sucked so hard.
"Hey... hey... you know what?" - "No what?" - "AIDS."
-
Also, I use Nazi a lot. A difficult math equation? A NAZI equation. A mean train conductor? A NAZI train conductor. Someone is an asshole? He's a NAZI.
-
Also, for some while we made the joke about a big bald black man standing behind you. It doesn't sound funny (actually, it might sound racist). It was funny however. Don't worry I am not a racist. I don't even see race. People just tell me I am white, and I trust them. (*stolen text/joke*)
Your mother was a paroxysmal window cleaner who contracted venereal diseases at the local Fire Station
Go suck piss
The easy response to "go suck piss" is "sure, get out your pissbits."
Shut your ass!
Donkey Raping S*** eater!
This really depends on the person you're insulting. Here are a few anyway:
Disclaimer: I will not be held responsible if someone punches you, laughs at you, or sues you during the use of these quoted insults; put-downs, disses, ect. These are suggested for use on friends only.
"I'll pull your entrails through your eyes and use them as reigns to ride your soul down to Hades!"
"Ew.. I don't want to hang out with you. You have AIDs...and SARS.. and cancer. What are you doing here anyway?"
"Damn those rebel teenagers!" (Is not as effective if you are a teenager..)
"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries." (While a classic, it is wholly useless as an insult for they will either a) not get it, or b) get it...)
You are just the residue of a miscarriage.
Wow, these are all good. I wasn't saying for me to use I just wanted to hear some good ones.
One of my favorites was actually said by someone here on dreamviews, I can't remember who though.
If you haven't shaved for a while, or you farted loudly, or anything else that's nasty that men do, and a girl says, "You are disgusting." Then you say back "Well at least I don't bleed out of my privates." or "Well at least I can't get pregnant."
What about shakesperian insults?
If you spend word for word with me, I shall make your wit bankrupt.
Or
Thou wouldst eat thy dead vomit up,
And howl'st to find it.
White Shirou, Monty Python is great.
Let's see if anybody knows where this is from... "You turn around and walk out that door, and I'll forget what you just said. And I won't tell everyone that you drink horse piss!"
Also, though old, "I refuse to fight a battle of wits with a unarmed person." is a good one.
Apparently its from "Every Which Way But Loose" with Clint Eastwood. I like!
You Googled it. I know you did.
"Right turn, Clyde!" Man, I love that movie.
I fart in your general direction!