Funny Family Guy episodes...

Family guy is the best.

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Okay so it starts out with Brian and Stewie's hands stuck together with glue...

Cut to guy pointing down well
Guy: Oh, my god! There's a little girl stuck down that well and no one's arms are long enough to reach her except that one guy but he's helping an old lady tickle a midget in a tree!
Cut to guy with really long arms tickling a midget in tree and you can hear the midgets high pitched laughter and an old lady
You see Brian and stewie pull the little girl out of the well
Lady says while holding up little girl: Hey this isn't my daughter!
Lady throws girl back in well then you see midget come over and he says "Hey, that's my wife!" He dives over and then the guy with the long arms comes over and puts his hands in the well and you first here a high pitched laughter and then a higher pitched laughter

That episode is funny
Tell me some good ones here.

i like the one where stewie's like:
"yes, now with my weather control device, i can set the weather to freezing, so i never have to eat you pitiful broccoli again!" and the weather
device is just a toy, it's raining and the wind causes stewie to lose his balance and fall.it shows the house and stewie was on the roof, he falls on on part of thev house to another part three times, falls on the trampoline, and bounces then hits the ground. i sorta like that one

I like Family Guy. Where are the episodes now?

The one where they go into jail for burning the british pub down:

*The four men leave the jail cell, and the guy that was going to kill them, "Steve", all walks into the cell*
Steve (Holding Knife): GET READY TO DIE! Oh, hum.
Steve: I wonder what this feels like...?
*Stabs Himself*
Steve: Ow! That hurts! My god, is that what I've been doing to people?

Classic from the feminist episode:

(Protesters marching outside carrying signs that say "Free Tibet")

Peter:Free Tibet? I'll take it!
(Gets on pay phone)
Peter:Hello China? I got something you want, but it's gonna cost you.
That's right ALL the tea.

A boat's a boat but the mystery box could be anything! It could even be a boat!!! You know how much we've wanted one of those!

Then let's just-

WE'LLTAKETHEBOX!

Quote:

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Originally posted by IZ
I like Family Guy. Where are the episodes now?

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It was cancelled in the interest of the retarded masses who can't see the humour...

Or they didn't advertise it well enough :)

In any case, it's comin back!

I do remember one episode:

Where they try to mimic the guy from channel 8 who used to draw pictures, so he was drawing something and starts tallking:

"Ok were going to draw some clouds and a big tree on the side there, oh and a happy little bush right there,.... and if you tell anyone!..... that that bush is right there!... I will personily come to your house and CUT YOU!!!

LOL

Damn, thats a tough one... so many to choose from. But just to name one... the one where stewie and Brian are carrying Brian's stuffed mother out to bury her, and stewie accidental breaks off her tail...
"Oh, relax... it's not like the 'ol girl has too much to wiggle about these days" . nice and morbid :lol:

Quote:

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Originally posted by Awaken

In any case, it's comin back!

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did a quick search and MY GOD, you're right... that is like the coolest news in a loong time.

From http://www.tvtome.com/FamilyGuy/season4.html

Quote:

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NOTE: Thanks in part to the HUGE success of the Family Guy DVDs beating all of their wildest expectations Fox has announced they are in talks to bring back Family Guy for 35 additional episodes. These episodes would start sometime in 2005.[/b]

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:goodjob: hell yeah :goodjob:

Tom Tucker on live news TV:
"School children washing cars to raise money for charity...Is there anything more arousing?"

priceless :)

Quote:

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Originally posted by Awaken
A boat's a boat but the mystery box could be anything! It could even be a boat!!! You know how much we've wanted one of those!

Then let's just-

WE'LLTAKETHEBOX!

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I remember that one, it is truly one of the best. Just too funny...

I heard that they were coming back in 2005, before, and let me tell you I couldn't be happier. It truly was an spectacular show...

its been on adult swim on cartoon network. fox is bringing it back with more eppisodes. aslo has any one seen the one were peter signs dead on his bill and then death comes but death breaks his ankle?

Quote:

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Originally posted by kufu91
aslo has any one seen the one were peter signs dead on his bill and then death comes but death breaks his ankle?

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"What is this, the price of my bill or my phone number?!"
"Uh, your phone number..."

your fine
hey are you hitting on me!
peter hes saying you're going to be okay
oh.
can it be both?

they are all great...

I love the way they fake you out, like one episode where they have the parade:
Tom Tucker (news): Yes Diane, I've got wood! And on this wood is a list of all the floats.

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Or when Peter's neighbor moves in:
Louis: Cohog's exciting! Someone lost an eye at bingo last week!
*cuts to bingo announcer*
Bingo Man: I twent- Oh darn...
*drops ball and it rolls under table*
*reaches down for it, and hits his eye on the corner of the desk*
Bingo Man: Ahh! My eye!

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Or when Peter asks his boss to dinner:
Peter: Mr. Weed, I would like to invite you to dinner at my house on sunday night.
*zooms out to show mirrior*
Mr. Weed: Great, what time?
*zooms out to show Mr. Weed's office*

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And the episode with death:
Death: Yeah, I never had much luck in high school...
*shows car parked on cliff with car bouncing*
Death: Oh yeah, oh Sara
*car stops bouncing*
Death: Oh man, not again! I'm going to be a virgin for the rest of my life... Or am I...?
*car starts rocking again*

Hahahah... That's the most terrible joke... ever...

Yea, Family Guy goes on Adult swim which is on cartoon network.

Peter Griffin: Brian, there's a message in my Alpha Bits. It says "OOOOOO"!
Brian Griffin: Peter, those are Cheerios.

young peter: why did the dinosaurs die?
museum curator: becuase you touch yourself at night

Peter: So how was school today Chris?
Chris: *starts speaking all-ghetto like*
Peter: Oh my God, he's possessed! *splashes holy water on him* MAY THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELL YOU!

Peter: Ever since I became president, profits have been higher than allysa milano
*cut to the real allysa Milano watching Family Guy*
Alysa: Of all the cheap shots...JOEL!
Joel: I'm Suing...I'm Suing

Chris: Dad, What's the Blowhole for
Peter: I'll tell you what it's not for and after that you'll understand why I can never go back to seaworld

Peter: I used all my parenting skills and turned chris from a slacker into a working man
Joe: Good job Peter!
Peter: Yeah up yours Joe
Joe: What
Peter: Nothing

"What do you mean cut the blue Wire?!? they're all blue wires!!"
Meg Griffen

Stewie: Oh yes I love crack, I'm absoulutley coo-coo for crack.

Peter: Well look who comes crawling back....
Joe: PETER!!!!, Have you seen my wheelchair?

Peter: "No, it's okay I read something about this once."
Brian: "Are you sure it was something? Are you sure it wasn't nothing?"
Peter: "Oh... right."

Peter and Brian are at a bar:
Brian - i.. i think im in love with lois..
Peter - oh my god... you can talk!!

Peter watching himself get arrested on tv while he's getting arrested.
"Hey the fat guys struggling. Hit him you stupid pigs, hit him with the billyclub ow!""

Chris to Stewie "You want some ice cream?"
Stewie "Ok. But no sprinkles!! For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you"

Stewie: Mm..this meatloaf is a symphony of flavor. It's too bad you can't have some. It's practically orgasmic.
*takes a bite and has an orgasm*
Brian: I'll have what he's having.

Peter: If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to see it does it make a sound?
Tree 1: Yeah Bob over there fell over last week and he won't shut up.
Bob the tree: HELP HELP, OH GOD SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!!!!

Peter: "Lois, sometimes it's appropriate to swear."
Balif: "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whoe truth and nothing but the truth?"
Peter: "I do... you bastard."
Peter drinking the wine at communion.
"Is this really the blood of Christ? Man that guy must have been wasted 24 hours a day"

Peter: You want me to whack a guy? Off a guy? Whack off a guy, cuz im married ya know!

Peter opens door
Peter: Who...who are you.....
Death: Im Calista Flockheart, who do you think I am, IM DEATH

I have more, but I cant access them right now.

nightowl I thoroughly enjoy your sense of humour :)
Those are excellent