• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




    Results 1 to 14 of 14
    1. #1
      * DV Veteran * Achievements:
      1 year registered Veteran First Class Made Friends on DV 50000 Hall Points
      Clairity's Avatar
      Join Date
      Feb 2005
      Gender
      Location
      USA
      Posts
      8,811
      Likes
      98

      Talking Best Smart A$$ Answers Of 2007

      BEST SMART A$$ ANSWERS OF 2007!!

      SMART A$$ ANSWER #6:
      It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
      "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
      "What are my choices?" John asked.
      "Yes or no," she replied.

      SMART A$$ ANSWER #5:
      A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
      As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
      Without missing a beat, she said,
      "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

      SMART A$$ ANSWER #4:
      A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
      She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
      The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

      SMART A$$ ANSWER #3:
      The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
      "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
      The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
      When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

      SMART A$$ ANSWER #2:
      A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead."
      Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
      Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up.
      The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

      SMART A$$ ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2007:
      A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
      "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
      A smart-a$$ guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
      The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
      When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says,
      "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

    2. #2
      Back by Unpopular Demand NeAvO's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jun 2006
      Gender
      Location
      England
      Posts
      5,090
      Likes
      9
      I'm suprise I'm not listed in there

      I liked the last one, are they real though? I think the teacher would've lost his/her job after saying that.
      NeAvO's Nightly Journeys
      Adopted: Hazel AngelGirl Shadowsand
      Terrorhawker
      <img src=http://i157.photobucket.com/albums/t58/NeAvO_2007/neavowx4.png border=0 alt= />
      Courtesy of Goldney
      Quote Originally Posted by Vex Kitten
      You're just jealous that I'm more of a man than you could ever be, sweetie pie.
      Shoot for the moon, even if you miss it you will land among the stars.

    3. #3
      * DV Veteran * Achievements:
      1 year registered Veteran First Class Made Friends on DV 50000 Hall Points
      Clairity's Avatar
      Join Date
      Feb 2005
      Gender
      Location
      USA
      Posts
      8,811
      Likes
      98
      Quote Originally Posted by NeAvO View Post
      I'm suprise I'm not listed in there .
      Now that you mention it.. I'm surprised you're not there too.

      Quote Originally Posted by NeAvO View Post
      I liked the last one, are they real though? I think the teacher would've lost his/her job after saying that.
      I doubt that they're real.. but it was still a great comeback!

    4. #4
      Ad absurdum Achievements:
      1 year registered 1000 Hall Points Made lots of Friends on DV Referrer Bronze Veteran First Class
      Spartiate's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jul 2007
      Gender
      Location
      Block 4500-7000
      Posts
      4,825
      Likes
      1113
      Quote Originally Posted by NeAvO View Post
      I think the teacher would've lost his/her job after saying that.
      Wow, those strict English schoolboards ...

      Funny stuff Clairity .

    5. #5
      Cosmic Citizen ExoByte's Avatar
      Join Date
      Aug 2006
      LD Count
      ~A Dozen
      Gender
      Location
      Ontario
      Posts
      4,394
      Likes
      117
      Yeah no kidding! I've got teachers that would pull smartass comments like that on a normal basis

      Maybe thats why I've never got the sexual exhaustion one. Funny, but its tossed around so much as if its the greatest thing ever said. I like the others much better
      This space is reserved for signature text. A signature goes here. A signature is static combination of words at the end of a post. This is not a signature. Its a signature placeholder. One day my signature will go here.

      Signed,
      Me

    6. #6
      Haha. Hehe. Achievements:
      Made Friends on DV 1 year registered 10000 Hall Points Veteran First Class
      Mes Tarrant's Avatar
      Join Date
      May 2007
      Gender
      Location
      New Zea-la-land
      Posts
      6,775
      Likes
      36
      Very nice.

      Oh and Neenee, you can say what you want in the States, honestly, I've had some teachers say some disgusting things (that were less funny though).

    7. #7
      Banned
      Join Date
      May 2007
      LD Count
      Loads
      Gender
      Location
      Digital Forest.
      Posts
      6,864
      Likes
      386
      Quote Originally Posted by Mes Tarrant View Post
      Very nice.

      Oh and Neenee, you can say what you want in the States, honestly, I've had some teachers say some disgusting things (that were less funny though).
      My biology teacher makes crude comments often.

    8. #8
      !DIREKTOR! Adam's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jan 2007
      Gender
      Location
      Aquanina's closet
      Posts
      5,194
      Likes
      34
      In my school you would have been out the door lol.

      Love them though Clairity

    9. #9
      Il Buoиo Siиdяed's Avatar
      Join Date
      Nov 2007
      Gender
      Location
      иowheяe
      Posts
      3,846
      Likes
      390
      Haha. I wish my life were a tale of quick-witted comebacks and perfectly executed jibes.

      As such, I'd probably only mess up a comeback as good as these, or only think of it an hour later.

    10. #10
      Banned
      Join Date
      Aug 2005
      Gender
      Posts
      1,331
      Likes
      7
      Lulz Clairity I'm using that cop one if I get pulled over hahaha.

    11. #11
      Haha. Hehe. Achievements:
      Made Friends on DV 1 year registered 10000 Hall Points Veteran First Class
      Mes Tarrant's Avatar
      Join Date
      May 2007
      Gender
      Location
      New Zea-la-land
      Posts
      6,775
      Likes
      36
      Quote Originally Posted by KuRoSaKi View Post
      Lulz Clairity I'm using that cop one if I get pulled over hahaha.
      What, even if the cop doesn't say that first line? That'd be a funny episode of joke gone wrong.

    12. #12
      Ad absurdum Achievements:
      1 year registered 1000 Hall Points Made lots of Friends on DV Referrer Bronze Veteran First Class
      Spartiate's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jul 2007
      Gender
      Location
      Block 4500-7000
      Posts
      4,825
      Likes
      1113
      There was actually an incident in a school in my area where a student recorded a teacher getting pretty verbal on his cell phone. Result? They banned cell phones in the class room .

    13. #13
      Veteran of the DV Wars Man of Steel's Avatar
      Join Date
      Mar 2007
      LD Count
      ~35
      Gender
      Location
      Houston, TX
      Posts
      4,553
      Likes
      94
      Haha, good stuff. That speeding one is great, though. I'd heard the last two before. I think #2 is a here's your sign joke, actually.

    14. #14
      Banned
      Join Date
      Aug 2005
      Gender
      Posts
      1,331
      Likes
      7
      Then I'd be like "Sorry guys I got here as fast as I could I thought you'd be waiting for me."

    Bookmarks

    Posting Permissions

    • You may not post new threads
    • You may not post replies
    • You may not post attachments
    • You may not edit your posts
    •