We interrupt this program to bring you a breaking story! A disturbing report has come in of a streaker wearing nothing but a red cape and boots terrorizing the small community of Smallville with his nude antics! Out to our reporter on the scene, Rinaldo Riviera.
"This is your Action News reporter Rinaldo Riviera, bringing you all the news that is news across the country and other countries! Today we are interviewing an eye witness to this startling atrocity, Wald O'Ntjustanthar. Mr-- Wald, tell us, what did you see?"
"Well, I'uz jus' standin' right thar' by the gumdrop machin' when he come tearin' through. Weren't wearin' nothin' but a cape! Guy though he'uz Superman or sumpin'! He'uz movin' mighty fast, too, like he'uz on speed! That or he'uz some sorta marathon runner! I swear, he never even slowed down! I told my wife, 'Regina, don't you look at his manly parts,' but it'uz too late. She'd done seen it all!"
"A startling series of events here at the Smallville Supermarket. Thank you, Mr. O'Njustanthar, and back to you, George!"
We now return you to your programming, with more breaking news to follow as this tragic tale unfolds.
