Thread: What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

Originally Posted by Elis D.

...Not being fucking retarded.

I work with mentally disabled children and adults almost every day, I know that there is nothing funny about having mental disabilities. I've volunteered for the Special Olympics and I believe it's one of the most noble causes currently in effect.

Orly? Where may I ask? I would like to show them your wonderful thread.

What's worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree?

1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

Misogynistic joke:

Why were shopping carts invented?

To teach women how to walk on their hind legs.

Why do women have boobs?


































So men could have something to look at when they're talking to us.

- Peter Griffin

What's a washing machine and a blonde have in common?

























































































They both get soaking wet when you dump a load in them.

What is the best thing about fucking twenty three year olds?

There is twenty of them.


:0

Probably the most disturbingly awesome joke I've ever heard:




Q: What's the worst thing about eating bald pussy?
































A: Trying to put that damned diaper back on.

Eww O...no!

What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and vagina?























































Only some things that come out of her vagina are retarded.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?























































When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwhich?























































You don't screw a sandwhich before you eat it.

C'mon, let's not make this a dead baby joke dump site.

Mix it up!



How many Jews can you fit in a Volksagon Beetle?











































Two in the front, three in the back, and all the rest in the ashtray.

Statistically nine out of ten people enjoy gang rape.

a gay guy goes to get a tat of a truck on his dick
the tattooist asks him what kind.
the guy says "make it a 4X4, it's going to get muddy"

Originally Posted by Oneironaut

Probably the most disturbingly awesome joke I've ever heard:




Q: What's the worst thing about eating bald pussy?
































A: Trying to put that damned diaper back on.

My god-like image of you has been shot to hell.

Edit: People, can we get some good black, redneck, race etc. jokes in here?

Seriously.


What word starts with N and ends with R and you never want to call a black guy?





















































Neighbor.

Why do girls love Jesus so much?

















Because he's so well hung.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?






























Through his chest with a sharp knife.

What did the husband tell his wife with two black eyes?













































































Nothing, he already told the bitch twice.

stolen from XKCD;
my hobby is standing in the grocery store near a pile of phalic fruits holding a bottle of KY jelly.

I just got banned from a super leniant forum for a month for pretty much an identical thread to this one.

I'm surprised, cause this place is usually a lot more strict.

Weird.

Gay too, cause I didn't post any dead baby jokes or racial jokes there because I know those are the two things they don't allow. I got banned for what other douches posted.

Some classic blonde jokes:

What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
Frosted Flake

How do you legally drown a blonde?
Scratch-N-Sniff at the bottom of a swimming pool

A blonde walks into an appliance store. She picks out something she likes, and tells the clerk, "I want to buy this television."
The clerk replies, "I'm sorry, I can't sell that to you. You're too blonde."
Instead of arguing, the blonde storms out of the store. A few days later, she returns to the store after dying her hair brown.
Going back to her target, she tells the clerk again, "I want to buy this television."
The clerk, again replied, "I'm sorry, I can't sell that to you. You're too blonde."
And again, she stormed out of the building.
Another few days pass, and she returns, this time with black hair.
She tells the clerk again, pointing to her selection, "I want to buy this television."
The clerk barely got the word 'sorry' out of his mouth before she quickly asked him, "Why can't you sell me this? You've told me that 3 days now. Why can't can't I buy this television?"
"Like I said, you're too blonde, and that's a microwave."

What's the difference between a slut and a bitch?





























A slut goes out with everyone.

A bitch goes out with everyone but you.

What do you do if you see your television floating through the air in the middle of the night (and you're sure it's not a hallucination, mind you)?

You scream, "Nigger put that shit down!"

Oh, and it's not really a joke, but something I like to say when something goes wrong or I am just seriously fucked up and in a difficult situation:

Truckload of burning babies. Best if used in public.