Real Realism for Realists

I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are dull and need to be spiced up. They need to be more vivid. Here are a few I would suggest:

- Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.

- Drinking will significantly increase your chances of murdering a loved one.

- If you drink long enough, at some point, you will vomit up the lining of your stomach

- Use this product and you may wake up in Morocco wearing a cowboy suit and tongue-kissing a transmission salesman.

- Women: drink enough of this and you will spend the rest of your life raising malnourished children in a rusting trailer with a man who sleeps all day. Except for the rapes.

I think this is more honest and does a better job at getting the point across. If they're going to bother printing warnings on this type of product they might as well tell the truth. Feel free to add your own!

I second the motion.
I stay away from alcohol, it's a lame and dangerous drug... there are much better and safer ones...

I highly doubt the manufacturers would put those labels on their prodcuts. It would just hurt their profit if people stopped drinking their beverages from the labels they put on it.

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Originally Posted by SpecialInterests

I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are dull and need to be spiced up. They need to be more vivid. Here are a few I would suggest:

- Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.

- Drinking will significantly increase your chances of murdering a loved one.

- If you drink long enough, at some point, you will vomit up the lining of your stomach

- Use this product and you may wake up in Morocco wearing a cowboy suit and tongue-kissing a transmission salesman.

- Women: drink enough of this and you will spend the rest of your life raising malnourished children in a rusting trailer with a man who sleeps all day. Except for the rapes.

I think this is more honest and does a better job at getting the point across. If they're going to bother printing warnings on this type of product they might as well tell the truth. Feel free to add your own!

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These are great.

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Originally Posted by Enzo

I highly doubt the manufacturers would put those labels on their prodcuts. It would just hurt their profit if people stopped drinking their beverages from the labels they put on it.

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It was meant to be satirical lol. I realize it would be bad for business.

Haha ok.

Alcohol isn't completely harmful. Red wine can be rather beneficial for your cardiovascular system in moderation.

Or just drink resvesterol concentrate

I drink pure ethanol on a daily basis.

Okay, that's not true, sometimes I drink denatured alcohol when my pure ethanol supply is out. Is that bad? I hear some people say it's bad, but I don't think I believe that.