How do I hide a dead body?

My friend wants to know.

Fire. Try burning it.

>:U

Just don't try to burn it.

Edit: Haha, no-name got in seconds before me.

Sharks. Think about Natalie Holloway. I have to keep hearing about that nonsense on the tv because she made such good shark bait.

If you your friend is in a jam, you can hide it in the mattress or the box spring.

Lye is your friend.

Since ClouD has the better grammar, I didn't try burning it.

I mean my friend didn't. Any more suggestions?

EDIT: Oh shit, replies.

1) Sharks. My friend can't. No sharks around here.

2) Mattress. Also cannot. I've already got one in there. I mean he has, yeah.

Think harder guys. I need some help here, not these half-assed suggestions. By that of course I mean my friend needs help.

If you put the body in a building and then torch the building, you're in the clear. They don't have a good profile for an arsonist, so it'll end up going cold. The case, that is.

>:U


I'm liking the mattress idea... Maybe, stuff it? Make a nice throw rug?

Mmm... Toss it in the nearest body of water?

Maybe I my friend can cut it up and stick it in the mattress. It's just that I've he's got nothing to cut it up with. Ideas?

EDIT: Fast replies, guys. Nice to see such enthusiasm. Bennington, I can't do the building idea. I've already been arrested for that kind of thing. And Del, the nearest body of water is so clogged up with bodies there's no room any-more.

Also, for that above paragraph, substitute 'my friend' for every 'I' I wrote. Because it's my friends problem.

Go to a door... Put a limb through, and just slam the door continuously. Eventually, a limb will come off.

You could have it cremated. Pretend it's your dear auntie. OR have it turned into a diamond and sell the diamond to someone.

EDIT
Teeth are good for cutting. Also, you could get the fat guy with swords for hands from 300.

The tell-tale heart.
Male or female body? About how big? Put it in the street, run like hell.

Ventilation system, hydrochloric acid, bathtub, plastic sheets (to cover everything beforehand) and full protective wear. After, the bones should be cleaned, ground down and then scattered into the sea.

Cleaning up the mess you'll need to drain, then sponge the acid (while wearing protective gear) as well as disposing of the fleshy pieces. Once the sheets are *relatively* dry, then fold them up and place everything into a bag. Add gasoline, and set on fire in a place that no-one will be able to observe the smoke, best at night. See to it that the entire package leaves nothing but ash and mucky plastic, then drop any remaining stuff into the ocean, making sure it does not look conspicuous.

Use acid cleaner for any excess in your bathroom, and then bleach clean.

Okay, I've called up my friend and given him all these suggestions. He's decided on repeatedly slamming the door at the bodies arm until it falls off and then cremating it. And then doing all the other limbs. This is for ease of access. That's what he tells me.

Anyway, I have to go with him. For moral support, you know.

EDIT: REALLY keen, I see. ClouD, I'll try that if this limb cremation idea doesn't work out. My friend will, I mean. Guitarboy, stop being silly. This is serious business we're talking about here.

Find somebody pouring a concrete pad. If you have some minor masonry skills, you can throw it in when it's still wet, then trowel it shut, and nobody will notice, until somebody tears it out. By then, the case will be stone cold.

Cold as a dead body, you could say.

But it's too late for that, anyway. My friend got all her limbs off, but he can't fit her in the back of the van with the intestines. Suggestions?

Have you tried eating it? cooked, of course.

Why destroy it? You have some serious possible buisness possibilities here. Brains and livers go for a hefty price in the back alley these days.

Tell-Tale Heart. Read it.

:hump:

God, so many suggestions. All I my friend wanted to know was how to dispose of the thing. Not literature suggestions, guitarboy and Eagle.

I'm starting to think you're not taking this seriously, guys.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Elis D.

:hump:

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:hump:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by no-name

Why destroy it? You have some serious possible buisness possibilities here. Brains and livers go for a hefty price in the back alley these days.

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Also, think of the personal use you could give it.