Thread: Give Someone The Best Advice Ever

If there is a fire, no matter how small, put it out with gasoline.

If your new girlfriend is rumored to be a whore who sleeps around a lot, don't bother with condoms.

Flashing blue/red lights behind you means speed up.

If someone suddenly begins coughing during a meal, help them out by stuffing more food into their mouth.

If you want a good forum without trolls, go to dreamviews.com/commie-unity
See what I did thar?

Look around and make comparisons while whizzing at the wall of urinals.

Flip off the rednecks in the monster truck.

Come to a forum and annoy the shit out of the staff.

Go ahead and make the jump, even though your opponent has the high ground. He was like a brother to you, after all. He's not really going to cut all of your limbs off in one swipe and leave you there to burn to death...

You know there is a serial killer in the house. Go ahead and open that door to check out the mysterious noise.

When you are done with your emo cutting, cut up pieces of lemon with salt in the wound to soak up the blood so no one notices.

Become a heroin addict. You can quit anytime you want.

Before you commence with your emo cutting, use your knife to cut up some raw beef. immediately begin cutting yourself, the cow blood hightens the painful pleasure.

Go up to a girl and sing "Yeah, ho, yeah bitch, show me how yo coch*i twitch!"

dam, I love Chocolate News

Have sex with your mother. Be a brother and a father! (if you're a guy)
Have sex with your father. Be a sister and a mother! (if you're a girl)
Have sex with you're aunt/uncle. Be a mother/father and a cousin!

If you flop the nuts in a high stakes, no limit Texas Hold 'Em game, always, always fold.

If you want a tractor engine to run faster, hit the ether button after starting.

You CAN outrun the highway patrol officers.

If someone offers you to stay at dinner, accept and ask can you come tomorrow too.

Leave the girl, date her mom.

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Recent studies show that alcohol consumption increases your IQ. Now go and become a genius.

These sound an awful lot like advice dogs.

Those are good ones Fable

Originally Posted by Jeff777

Those are good ones Fable

Thanks. Just googled Advice Dog. Hilarious results.

There's, like, no way man, you can OD on over-the-counter meds.