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    1. #1
      Join Date
      Nov 2015

      Question Girlfriend has frequent nightmares, can't recall dreams the next morning.

      Hello, my girlfriend and I have been living together for almost 6 months now, I won't drag this out with any more details that aren't necessary to the best of my ability.

      She has frequent nightmares where she kinda talks in her sleep, I can never make any of the words out but I can tell they are words if that makes sense...
      I can't tell yet if the dreams are caused by anything specific, I am starting a sleeping journal for her tonight.

      From what I have noticed so far is, some times it happens after she falls asleep right after sex, some times it happens right after she falls asleep after drinking (heavily & lightly), and some times it just happens without either of those things occurring. When it does happen though it seems to start almost IMMEDIATELY after falling asleep.

      I came across a thread and plan on following the information provided, but I felt like I should still post this because of the fact not every situation is the same, similar yes but not the same.
      I would post a link but I am unable due to not having an account for 3 days yet.
      but the title of the thread I found on here was "My girlfriend has vivid nightmares.."

      It happened again tonight so I tried to whisper to her nice things, like it is okay, I will protect you, you are safe, etc. It didn't seem to effect her, then I noticed she would stop breathing sometimes for about 10 seconds then take a big gasp of air and almost act like she was going to wake up, but does not. I attempted to wake her up after about 15 minutes of me attempting to help her dream subside, she vaguely woke up then wanted to be covered up with a bunch of blankets then proceeded to go back to sleep, and right back to the dream I interrupted. She falls asleep very quickly I might add also, I used to be the one falling asleep first (I also too fall asleep very quickly, but I don't have many dreams at all let alone nightmares) but now usually it is her. So I attempted to wake her up again after about another 10 minutes of trying to get her dream to go away. I woke her up and made her sit up then tried getting out of her what was going on in the dream because she can never remember them in the morning or she is choosing not to tell me them due to her not wanting to talk about them, but I kept her awake for about 10 minutes then held her as she went back to sleep and the dreams seem to have subsided for now, but they were very intense; she was kicking and being very vocal even though I couldn't make out any words and she was tossing and turning around in the bed.

      This time she told me it was about her past and I had a feeling that's what it was, when she was younger her mom's second husband was working in the attic witch was accessed through her room and she was sleeping in the nude that night. I don't know exactly how far he went, but I do know what she told me he did inappropriate things to her none the less. She never mentioned it to her mother because she would never believe it, and she never mentioned it to her father because of the fact he would probably go to prison for murdering the guy that did that. I don't know how many people she has told about that night, but I do know I am one of very few who actually know about it.
      This man is still married to her mother with 4 other kids now, so whenever we go to her moms house she sees him too unfortunately. I do believe this could be some what of a trigger for the dreams to come back, because they do not happen EVERY night (that I know of) but they happen frequently enough for me to be concerned, thus why I am starting a journal for her and asking for guidance here.

      We may not have been together very long, but just from witnessing this I know it is not just your average bad dream that is reoccurring.
      She also briefly mentioned seeing "things" while awake, I am assuming they are figures of sorts (shadow figures possibly?) She does not like talking about these things because she tells me it is just a mind set and they aren't real so its like she is just trying to shove it to the back of her mind. I believe the reasoning for these things is a combination of PTSD from her bad experience while younger, and the stress she has on a daily basis. She is the type of person that stresses about stress before there is even stress to stress about.

      This has gotten pretty long fast so I will just leave this as it is for now, thank you for taking the time to read this and any help you offer will be greatly appreciated.

    2. #2
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      Sep 2012
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      Sleep talking does not usually occur while dreaming, and we rarely dream right after falling asleep. Alcohol might also be playing a role in the sleep talking.

      Normally, when we're dreaming, our non breathing muscles are paralyzed. They are not paralyzed only when we have what's called REM behavior disorder.

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