Lack of sleep

[mobwicket]

Lately, I've become moody because I am losing sleep over my work. This is causing some serious problems in our marriage. I would easily get mad at my partner even if he did not do anything. I am feeling guilty. Is there any tips that you can share to me so that I can avoid this situation from happening?

[DarkestDarkness]

First of all, I would say that when you do find a moment where you are calmer, this is a good time to talk to your partner and explain to him that you are struggling and that you are feeling guilty for snapping and that you want to apologise for having been snappy. This should go a long way in helping you both remember that crap happens sometimes, and it can't be helped. My personal experience is that in a relationship, you have to be explicit about what you are trying to say, most of the time, especially for things related to feelings. As for avoiding the situation; you probably can't avoid getting mad at the little nothings you're getting mad about, so, in one of those calm moments, reach an agreement with your partner where you establish something you say to each other when the situation is happening, or something to this effect! It has to be clear that when the situation is happening, you don't mean for it to be happening, and that your partner is made aware of that, explicitly, in that moment. If in that moment he can remember to think "wait, mobwicket just can't help feeling like this right now", then if you've talked about how he might be able to help you calm down, he is far more likely to not lose his own cool (I'm assuming he losing his cool when this happens) and help you calm down. I mean, generally speaking, something like this should be helpful, but I don't know all the personal details to your relationship, so it's really not possible for me to give advice in a more specific way. I hope you do find the advice to be helpful. The fact that you recognise that it's becoming a problem in the relationship is already important but sometimes we can't "fix" ourself just on our own.

[slimbew]

As for avoiding the situation; you probably can't avoid getting mad at the little nothings you're getting mad about, so, in one of those calm moments, reach an agreement with your partner where you establish something you say to each other when the situation is happening, or something to this effect! It has to be clear that when the situation is happening, you don't mean for it to be happening, and that your partner is made aware of that, explicitly, in that moment. If in that moment he can remember to think "wait, mobwicket just can't help feeling like this right now", then if you've talked about how he might be able to help you calm down, he is far more likely to not lose his own cool (I'm assuming he losing his cool when this happens) and help you calm down. I mean, generally speaking, something like this should be helpful, but I don't know all the personal details to your relationship, so it's really not possible for me to give advice in a more specific way. I hope you do find the advice to be helpful. The fact that you recognise that it's becoming a problem in the relationship is already important but sometimes we can't "fix" ourself just on our own. Thank you so much for this. I really appreciate the effort that you put into writing such a beautiful advice. Yes, I think I have to value our calm moments. I need to establish a more intimate relationship with him -- one where we can talk about our problems and be honest with each other. I also need to find more ways to practice controlling my thoughts and emotions. It will take time but I believe that I'll get there!

[mobwicket]

Thank you so much for this. I really appreciate the effort that you put into writing such a beautiful advice. Yes, I think I have to value our calm moments. I need to establish a more intimate relationship with him -- one where we can talk about our problems and be honest with each other. I also need to find more ways to practice controlling my thoughts and emotions. It will take time but I believe that I'll get there! It's good to know that the advice helped you, are you experiencing the same thing as well? I also agree that honesty is important in any relationship. It has also made me realize to appreciate my husband's efforts and be more intimate with him.

[blobbymod]

Lack of sleep affects our mood, leading to irritability and that is the reason why you easily get mad with your husband. If you want to save your marriage then you need to change sleeping habits. It seems that the true key to a happy marriage is dedicating the time and space to get a good night sleep every night.

[mobwicket]

Yes, I do hear y'all guys, and I stand by everything you've just said. It also helps to know that there are websites like ReGain where I can go to read advice on everything. Have you seen that before?