Ah..I know what you mean.. Listen, take it easy. When you feel tired it DOES mean you need sleep, however it's your choice when to give in to that need. Ideally you'd sleep 8-9 hours at night but for lucid dreaming purposes, I noticed it's good to incorporate a 1-3 hour nap in the afternoon..I'm working on doing that now.
Now for your problem. I think you're overthinking this...we all know it's a very delicated balance, enough awareness to not just fall asleep but not enough to keep us wide awake. I think more than becoming too aware, your problem is worrying about becoming too aware...Once you get done with your slow waves lseep in the night, your nap should be mainly REM (don't quote me on that)..so there is potential for being quite aware in your dreams..thus, lucid dreaming. But to get there, you need to be able to relax, feel confident, beleive that it is possible, and of course, carry in a good level of awareness.
You seem to be bordering on the extremes. From what you've said, it's clear you have knowledge of the HI stage and when your getting there...I've noticed that in addition to adopting the attitude "there's nothing to worry about, if I want this to happen, it can", playing some soft music with a quiet beat in the background can help carry you into your dreams. I almost feel that it's like a "platform" beneath me..not letting me forget and sleep too deeply, but knowing it's there allows me too relax..I have to do nothing except enjoy the ride and just know that lucidity is as simple as laying there, relaxing and fantasizing and entering...it does not have to be made hard..remember that. You've definetly got the capability and I hope some of this helps you.
Good luck my friend.
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