unusual sleep problems

I've been searching around for my same conditions. I have two potentially odd things. The first is waking up in the middle of the night with no memory of anything, no name, no anything; this has been really freaky on occasion, if the room is really dark for instances I sometimes think i'm in a tomb and scream. It gets interesting because at those moments I don't know who my partner is, even if I am looking at her with enough light I can't place her. Usually the memory comes back at the longest a minute later but it can be quite disturbing. I found it happens most frequently if I am sleeping in an unfamilar place. Whats more interesting is that sometimes the dream memory will replace my normal identity and I will be dead sure that I am my dream persona and that my partner will be who ever the dream said she was. This has made some unusual situations. The few occasions that my wife was willing to engage in 2 am coitus has been great but usually, not surprisingly, she's not up to it. There was once where I was sure that she was actually a whole womans sports team, somehow at the same time, minor details like that didn't bother me at all. She wasn't into it on that occasion and I was angry in the morning that she had cost me such an experience. Another time she was an female African war correspondent and our act took place in a war zone. In the moment the reality kind of sinks in so that I can see both at the same time, so towards the end I become pretty sure that it is my wife and really i'm this mundane person, but i'm never totally sure.
The second thing is that I have a dream that I see the room I'm in totally lit, super lit so that I see every possible detail, then something will happen and I will wake up, jump out of bed dead sure that it had happened. About 4 times I giant spider came into my room, it was on the wall once and once hanging above my head. I would wake up in a panic, throw on the lights and search for it. Another time a strange object fell from the ceiling. I always wake up totally confused that it hadn't happened. The only thing unnature (besides the giant spiders) is that I couldn't have seen it because I wasn't wearing my glasses. That usually convinces me, the fact that my wife is trying to tell me it didnt' happen never convinces me. I don't know what to make of it. Any thoughts?