Fail #2 (Prime Conditions and Transitioning?)

Friday Night: Woke up at 5am, stayed up for a half an hour, ate a chocolate bar for caffeine and that other chemical that keeps your mind alert, went into a closet all decked out for comfort, and concentrated on NOT moving a muscle and waiting for the lights.

Lights came, not too interesting. Heard a voice say, "Ehh?", kinda gave me shivers which made me worry I'd get knocked out of the state I was going for. I'd get waves of anticipation and anxiety, but I refused to moved. This would occasionally send waves of strong shivers, which again worried me.

I think I drifted under and back up a few times. I saw the lights become a flowering pattern. ONE of my fatal mistakes; I didn't know I was supposed to keep my eyes dead still. Silly me, I was thinking REM (rapid eye movement). So I was giving my brain mixed messages, "I'm asleep, put me under, I'm not asleep, I'm screwing with you," so finally, after 2 HOURS!!! of consciously laying there, my body sent a giant zap signal to MOVE/ROLL, and it seized me up for a second. I jolted involuntarily, but tried to maintain non-movement... but I couldn't shake the conviction after that that I had ruined it. My neighbors were waking up by then, and it was impossible to get back into the zone and I needed REAL sleep.

Saturday Night: I learned not to move my eyes, and that the brain sends signals to move periodically, and they're hard to resist. Also learned to twitch ever-so-slightly muscles once I started going under, to get the brain to paralyze them more. I thought I was all set... except...

I didn't do WBTB, I just started it at 4:00am -- since I was tired already and it was late, I took B12, a caffeine pill, melatonin AND had a chocolate bar.

Stupid, I know.

I didn't hear ANYTHING. I barely saw good lights. My body started getting a little numb, and I tried the twitch technique, and got maybe 70% of my body very numb, but none of it was paralyzed. I laid there for 3+ HOURS!!!, fully conscious, never even drifting into sleep. Since I *really* didn't feel like I was even remotely getting "sleep" (and do failed WILD attempts count as sleep???), I had to abandoned it and get some real rest.

Any suggestions, reprimands, better examples, etc.? And how do I know I won't put my body to sleep, and just have my mind awake ALL NIGHT? I never seemed to have the lights turn into images.

I can't lay in my bed with my wife and do a WILD, it's A: Too comfortable, and B: Too distracting when she moves. Plus, my brain's conditioned to NOT concentrate while sleeping in bed, whereas in my little chamber, I know why I'm there if I drift out and fall asleep.

~oneironeer