almost, accidental, WILD during MILD attempt?
Let me just preface my note here with the fact that I PM'd Sageous yesterday asking about a few of my failed WILD attempts, and he advised that I should probably concentrate on just MILDing at this point (I'm a newbie) before giving WILDing a serious try. So that makes last night's "almost-WILD" experience all the more amusing....
Last night I attempted MILD -- I'm habitually now waking up several times every night and recalling/recording my dreams (it's amazing how autosuggest / setting intent works as an internal alarm clock!). I woke up last night about 4 hours after going to bed, and attempted MILD using one of the dreams I had just recalled as the visualisation. I stayed reasonably focussed on the repetitions and finally thought I had my intention well set, and tried to go back to sleep. But I couldn't, I was just too aware. All I wanted to do was fall asleep and hopefully let the MILD magic do its thing for an LD.
So there I was, slowly passing through the initial signs of sleep, just tangentially noticing them not really caring while being fairly alert, but sleep still seems a ways off. "Hey," I suddenly realize, "this is actually what I think doing a WILD correctly according to Sageous is all about."
I just watched the process happen. When all the telltale WILD-ing things started happening (dreamlets, scenes, little sounds out of nowhere, body sensations), I decided "well, why not?" So I did something like counting "One. I'm dreaming, Two, I'm dreaming," and some other things I'd read about to keep the awareness awake (imagining body motions like sitting on swing / rocking) while WILDing but being very relaxed and not "trying to make a WILD happen." Well the result was I eventually started seeing some pretty clear, consistent scenes of a place I was thinking of, different from daydreaming visualizations, more real, deeper, more like I was "there." I saw some things in the scene that I hadn't imagined (a woman lying on the grass in the distance), and thought I may be almost there. I felt "on the edge" and just a small push would put me in, but the transition never came, maybe because I don't have prior experience of just how it feels. I went back and forth between seeing nothing and seeing these scenes. But I think I got a taste of it last night. I do recall at one point "sinking deeper," and noticing that I felt like I was breathing "dream air," cooler than my WL room air, and breathing was easier and freer [the more I think about this, I may have fallen asleep at this point, but being still aware. It was like nothing I've ever felt before, kind of a "dual reality"]. All the time I had a notion of my physical body in bed, sometimes stronger, sometimes more distant. I sensed I was pretty uncomfortable but there was pretty strong inertia against moving. I don't think I was paralyzed but I didn't want to really test it, I think I twitched a finger a teeny tiny bit just to test. I tried to wait it out and did for a while. I did a few throat-close-nose-breath RCs that don't require moving, thinking I may have transitioned to a scene-less LD, but was awake each time.
Anyway, since I didn't enter into the night with the expectation of trying to WILD, I felt no frustration, just interest and wonder at the new experiences, learning a bit more about what the process feels like. I hope this is a sign of some progress!
Reading through some of the recent messages here, it seems I may have just been in NREM, and if I had gotten the timing a bit luckier, I could have had an unplanned WILD! Sageous, do you think that sounds about right?