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New story I wrote. I tried to take into consideration everything everyone told me. Please comment. This story is much longer that either of my earlier ones and is more mature in content.
Pull Them from the Fire - Associated Content from Yahoo! - associatedcontent.com
Whoa, this story has some deep stuff.
There are great improvements in this story over your previous ones; the narration and dialogue is much more rhythmical and colourful, making the story a captivating read from beginning to end. The primary characters, particularly the antagonist, are fairly interesting as well.
Overall, aside from a couple of typographical and punctuational errors, the story is very well written and plotted. Keep up the good work.
Thank you. I was hoping you would comment because it seems like you put more thought into your review than just saying "you did good kid."Quote:
Originally Posted by Aristaeus