Erotica sample. TELL ME what you think
Hi everyone, I am not sure if I am allowed to post this here, so I will use "anonymous" for this. However I hope if this is removed, I do get a few critiques first.
I have recently considered writing erotica, I want whoever reads this to feel completly free to be brutally honest with any comments they may have. I am fine with criticism, but help me, by being more constructive then "You suck".
Following is a "short" (by erotica standards) sample of my writing called "Perfect Blondes" . Enjoy!
BulgingTrousers’ (Pen name) Perfect Blondes
I had always fancied blonde girls. In my college they were in abundance. At every street corner, with eyes of deep blue, flaunting their firm, young bodies, I watched, drooling, as they daintily tossed their hair from one side to the other.
It was 9:00 am, 5 minutes till class, and I was walking on the path, on my way to physics class. As I was thinking about my agenda for the day, two lovely shaped dream girls strolled in front of me with full knowledge that I was sneaking peeks at their lovely behinds, and perky breasts. Up and down went each soft buttermilk buttock, up and down, and my manhood began to rise. I arrived at my class with a full blown hard-on and took my seat, preoccupied now with worries for the day. The class went by slowly, but something caught my attention. The same girls I was walking behind before were whispering in front of me. Each time one leaned over to whisper in the others ear, a little bit more of each buttock was exposed. I got up the courage to lean in and ask “What’s the matter girls?”, and one said “My friend thinks you’re a very manly man” and she glanced at her friend who began to giggle. The first one grinned and said “We noticed your iron-hard penis before, so you can stop covering it”. Shocked, and amazed that I had subconsciously been covering my growing bulge, I removed the book. The class ended before I had anymore time to think, and both girls got up, shaking their cute butts, and said with a wink, “Seeya tomorrow”. Soon I was back in my single-room dormitory studying for an exam I barely heard the announcement for, when my cave-dweller began to stir. The events of today had awakened an inner craving in me. One that had never been satisfied. As night approached, I slipped into my bed, and began to go over the events of the day, one by one. Within two or three minutes, I had another erection, and began to stroke my shaft in full, top to bottom. As I did this, I pictured the cute faces of the two blonde angels I had met, descending on my penis. I utter, in my sexual stupor “Oh please, drain my balls girls, it’s been so long, I need you”. They obey, and slowly I harden even more. One undoes my zipper, while the other moans compliments over my manhood. “ooOOh, you brought a present for us” she says in an innocent, cute voice (half-jokingly). “It’s so big and hard!” The damsel manning my zipper takes me all the way to the back of her mouth in one movement, and closes her puffy lips around my cock. “You’re not going anywhere” the other one says, a knowing grin spreading across her face. Soon, the two girls switch places, and I decide, since both are so skilled in their mouths, I want to explode in those hot wells of lust. For nearly an hour, I masturbated to the thought of these girls innocent amazement at my manhood and its reaction to their little licks and pulls. With both tongues dancing around the most sensitive part of my penis, I couldn’t hold back any longer. With the girls expectant eyes focused on mine, now vigorously sucking and pulling with their mouths, and arousing images of me cupping their firm breasts and buttocks, I blasted I thick load onto my sheets. With a wide grin on my face, and falling completely limp, I went headlong into a deep sleep. I awoke the next morning to the sound of a lawnmower outside. I looked at my clock, 9:15! I had overslept and now I was late for physics. On my way, rushing to the class I was late for, I began to think of the two blonde girls. I began to get hard at the thought of those tight jeans descending with every dainty movement of the two girls’ until nearly all of each set of buttocks and crack was visible, and inviting me in. I arrived, and took my place behind the girls. In the middle of the agonizing lecture, to my surprise one of the girls turned around and asked, with a wink, “Did you enjoy yourself last night?” Dumb-founded and hardening, I nodded. Then, seemingly satisfied with the answer, they lowered their jeans just far enough for me to see those smooth buttocks, while quickly clasping their breasts. Then they said “Just wait till tonight”. Now rock-hard it took all my willpower not to whip out my fellow right there. I decide, grinning to myself, to wait until tonight.
