I just need some feed-back on it
Its a peice of free verse, and i was inspired by my boyfriend and also it was a dream i had after 5 hours with him on the phone.
I appriciate all constructive critasism because i am tring to improve my style of writing. Thank you in advance,
"I lay there, on the soft sand, by the lapping waters of the beach; safe in the knowledge my love is by my side.
As the warming glow sun slowly begins to dip behind the horizon and shadows grow across the land, I feel my hand gently clasped.
I sit up. Two enthralling arms tie themselves around my waist like an all encompassing blanket of protection. I’m powerless in its embrace. I have never felt so protected, so safe, so loved. The two of us just sit watching the glory of the sun fade for its long nights slumber. I feel like a stampede could not tare down the tribute to Venus herself.
Two souls sharing one space.
Two hearts going one place.
Two minds in loves embrace
The sky morphs into a fiery red display of pure power. The moon awakens from its dreams. I turn and look deep into the soft, warm, inviting eyes of the one I love. I can see down into where the depths of souls dwell.
Of where emotion burns.
Of where love is born.
I see the passion burning bright;
Radiating the fiercest of light;
Of which could easily scare off the night.
Our bodies close, our hearts even more so, I lean in and close my eyes.
This is what I’ve been waiting for. Two pairs of lips, softly touch, caress, entwine.
I feel our bodies soar higher than any angel could ever dream, surrounded by the power of love and light, which this meeting of souls has made.
I never want to leave this moment, but I know I must, if only to soar once more.
I open my eyes and gaze upon the owner of my heart, my soul, my star, and I know we both felt the pure intensity of our connection. Speechless we sit, just holding each other with the stars watching us, protecting us and I know;
He is my destiny.
He is my life."
