If I'm understanding your problem correctly, it sounds like you need to work on increasing your Lucidity once you've become aware that you're dreaming.
Lucidity can begin with fairly low-level awareness. You're distantly aware that you're dreaming, but unless you do something trigger a higher level of Lucidity, you won't have any control of that dream.
Performing a reality check is a good way to achieve high Lucidity. Everyone has different things that work for them - if you think you might be dreaming, you can examine at your hands, talk to a dream character, block your nose and try breathe through it, etc.
Doing a reality check will make the dream much more clear and stable, and you'll be able to start practising control. There's a great list of reality checks here:
http://www.dreamviews.com/forum/inde...showtopic=4935
Also check out dream spinning if you like:
http://www.dreamviews.com/stayinglucid.php
Hope that helps! :)
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