Godspark - dream or memory?

I'm not sure how I remember this, whether it was something I dreamt about or visualised during meditation I really don't know.

I remember being a spark of energy amongst an infinite field of energy, like a particle of light in a sea of light. I felt connected to every other particle in the field. Each particle was stationary but also vibrating within it's own space. I was resonating in a state of perpetual contentment like feeling at peace with everything just existing as humble particle of light. I had the sense that I knew everything there was to know, but then it hit me - although I knew everything I didn't have any direct personal experience of anything. There was this needing to know about everything from a personal perspective. Just as I started having these individualised thoughts, I was booted out from the field and into existence, I realise now that this was because the individualised thoughts created seperateness from the field. Like you can't have someone thinking for themselves if everything else is in unity.

I often wonder if this is what it would be like to be unified with God, and if the whole purpose of reality is just to experience everything from a personal perspective. That eventually, once everything has been experienced will once again become a particle in unity with God. But how I even recall this as happening I don't even know, was it from a dream, did I experience it during meditation, did I just wake up one day knowing it? I've had this memory for so long now that I can't accurately pinpoint when it happened, whether it appeared instantly one day or has slowly surfaced over time. It's very interesting and perculiar, would like to know if anyone has experienced something similar or can share some insights?

I have memories that must be from dreams. Oddly some of these memories only occur while in dreams. By that i mean I have some re-occuring dreams that only are memories while in the dream. I will see something and know I have experienced it before in other dreams. During waking life the memories are hidden.
As far as the spiritual side of things, I think you are grasping it in a correct way. It is not impossible to merge with the unity. It is however impossible to remember it. If you are disembodied in clear light and all is even and I would say calm in that no motion, emotion or thought is happening and there is not even a central point of awareness what will there be to remember? The moment you begin to think or experience you will have also begun to exit the unity.
I have a radically different way of looking at this than many Hindus or Buddhists. The common thought is that they are striving to leave the physical world and stop the wheel of incarnation, with a desire to re-unity with the whole. I say "screw that!" What is the point in becoming nothing but part of an undifferentiated mass? The fact is identity is required for experience and I like experiencing. There is the belief in the same systems that you can move on to heavenly worlds and also become more powerful and better at living. That is what I am after, not returning to where I started.

Yeah I know what you mean, I see it that way too. The whole reason for self awakening or self improvement is to better your self, I prefer to use the term self empowerment. There is mention in certain texts of demigods, which is essentially just someone that has reached a level of godhood without merging into unity, like a mini or subgod. Although I believe re-incarnation to be a possibility I subscribe more to the idea of astral planes and an afterlife very similar to a shared lucid dream. I would much prefer becoming a godlike being in the astral than merging back to unity or being forced into re-incarnation. I've also heard that the reason people re-incarnate is because they can't handle it in the astral, similar to when you have such a bad lucid dream that you're left with no choice but to force-awake, which if you're in the astral essentially just forces you into a new physical body in waking reality. If this is true, then at least us lucid dreamers have an advantage in that we will be able to recognize we have died and become lucid in the astral, and secondly be able to overcome obstacles there through prior practice and LD experiences. Hence, why I believe it's extremely important not to get in the nasty habit of forcing yourself awake from a bad lucid dream, and also why it's important to overcome your fears and face them head on.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by sivason

I have memories that must be from dreams. Oddly some of these memories only occur while in dreams. By that i mean I have some re-occuring dreams that only are memories while in the dream. I will see something and know I have experienced it before in other dreams. During waking life the memories are hidden.
As far as the spiritual side of things, I think you are grasping it in a correct way. It is not impossible to merge with the unity. It is however impossible to remember it. If you are disembodied in clear light and all is even and I would say calm in that no motion, emotion or thought is happening and there is not even a central point of awareness what will there be to remember? The moment you begin to think or experience you will have also begun to exit the unity.
I have a radically different way of looking at this than many Hindus or Buddhists. The common thought is that they are striving to leave the physical world and stop the wheel of incarnation, with a desire to re-unity with the whole. I say "screw that!" What is the point in becoming nothing but part of an undifferentiated mass? The fact is identity is required for experience and I like experiencing. There is the belief in the same systems that you can move on to heavenly worlds and also become more powerful and better at living. That is what I am after, not returning to where I started.

---

I agree. Life can be beautiful, if you know how to live it. There is inherent suffering, but the key is accepting that, knowing it will come, and knowing how to handle it when it does. Seeing the beauty in what you have right now as opposed to what you lost, what you don't have, or what you could have. Happiness is a choice and a commitment to yourself. If you can handle that, and honestly I think these are skills that can be learned, then life can be amazing. There is potential for satisfaction and deep subjective meaning/value that pure unity can't really give you, because it requires subjective experience to have. That's the benefit of being alive.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Eonnn

Yeah I know what you mean, I see it that way too. The whole reason for self awakening or self improvement is to better your self, I prefer to use the term self empowerment. There is mention in certain texts of demigods, which is essentially just someone that has reached a level of godhood without merging into unity, like a mini or subgod. Although I believe re-incarnation to be a possibility I subscribe more to the idea of astral planes and an afterlife very similar to a shared lucid dream. I would much prefer becoming a godlike being in the astral than merging back to unity or being forced into re-incarnation. I've also heard that the reason people re-incarnate is because they can't handle it in the astral, similar to when you have such a bad lucid dream that you're left with no choice but to force-awake, which if you're in the astral essentially just forces you into a new physical body in waking reality. If this is true, then at least us lucid dreamers have an advantage in that we will be able to recognize we have died and become lucid in the astral, and secondly be able to overcome obstacles there through prior practice and LD experiences. Hence, why I believe it's extremely important not to get in the nasty habit of forcing yourself awake from a bad lucid dream, and also why it's important to overcome your fears and face them head on.

---

You know, I don't care for the Tibetan idea of demi-gods. I read about that in Tibetan Yogas of Dream and Sleep... he describes these beings as power and pleasure seeking. Seemed like living in ego if you ask me.

I like your idea, though. I would love to live in the astral realm in a world that is peace loving, etc, at least for a time. That would be fun. Not to seek pleasure and power over others, but just to enjoy experience and connection. Still, I think after a time I would want to come back to Earth anyways. This is where we're needed, where we can make a difference. You know?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MoonageDaydream

You know, I don't care for the Tibetan idea of demi-gods. I read about that in Tibetan Yogas of Dream and Sleep... he describes these beings as power and pleasure seeking. Seemed like living in ego if you ask me.

I like your idea, though. I would love to live in the astral realm in a world that is peace loving, etc, at least for a time. That would be fun. Not to seek pleasure and power over others, but just to enjoy experience and connection. Still, I think after a time I would want to come back to Earth anyways. This is where we're needed, where we can make a difference. You know?

---

Yes, well most buddhists would say you need to experience ego death to become enlightened, and it's all about recognizing yourself as the awareness behind everything. Personally I think you can still hold onto your ego whilst becoming enlightened, and that you shouldn't try to kill your ego as it's what makes you individual and unique. I think deep down we all want to have more control over reality so that we can lessen the suffering or remove it completely, I don't see an issue with pleasure seeking provided your not hurting anyone. My aim as a demigod in the astral would be to create my own personal heaven, that I could invite others into, and also explore other places existing in the astral whilst having the ability to defend myself from anything bad I encounter along the way. I would probably get bored of it at some point though and want to either re-incarnate in physical reality again or unify with God, if re-incarnation with full memory recall was an option that would be quite interesting.

I think there's multiple meanings for the word "ego". I agree with you that you can still have an identity - I think that's healthy. I want to keep mine, too. I think of ego as the false self. An appearance we cultivate so that others will see us in a certain light. We do this out of fear of negative emotions, and an addiction to external validation (respect, love, power). Major causes of ego - fear of the emotion shame (embarrassment) and a lack of self love (making us addicted to external validation, because we haven't cultivated inner validation yet). I only say this because there is a very big difference between ego and identity, or at least in the way I use the term.

It's not pleasure that's the problem, pleasure is OK. But many people replace happiness with a constant seeking of pleasure. Pleasure is external, out of our control, and transitory. Happiness is internal, within our control to a good degree, and long lasting. However, cultivating happiness requires self-control, living to standards we set for ourselves, and leaving behind the false self (ego annihilation).

I would love to experience a heaven, too. But, then I would want to go back to Earth to help people. Don't think that's unselfish, it's absolutely selfish. By helping others, I get to feel like my life has meaning. Something you can't get so easily in an astral heaven. ;)

I actually have an experience to share related exactly to your conversation. The second astral entity I ever honestly met was a monk who helped train me for over 5 years. He told me that he had been a human monk, but had been living in an astral realm (where we were) that is exactly the type of thing Eonnn talked about. It is a realm made and maintained by some sort of god like entity. Most of the astral is like an angry ocean, but this place is a bubble of calm space held in place more or less by its placement in a large eddy. Anyways, he had told me that he had now been there for 4 decades being able to basically live a stable lucid dream. One day suddenly he was gone. Another entity who associated with both of us informed me that he had indeed chosen to incarnate in a human body, exactly for the reason Moonagedaydream suggested. While I saw this guy many times a year for over five years, I have not seen him one time since I was told about his decision, so I assume they were telling the truth. I remember before he left he spent time introducing me to a new lady who would take over my training. I am looking for that journal entry and will post in a minute, here.. https://www.dreamviews.com/blogs/siv...-guides-53531/ Wow, I see it has been almost 7 years since he left. He must be in grade school by now.
I wish I had more discipline in my life to spend more time exploring that realm, but I need to be in top mystic and dream form, and truthfully life gets in the way. When I do take the devotion and time it is amazing beyond belief.

Sivason, thats really neat how it syncs up with what we've been discussing. Also super cool the fact you were trained by monk over 5 years in the astral! like wow, closest thing for me would be spending 6 months fighting different demons each night and progressing onto a higher powered demon each time I defeated one. No clue why or how that happened but definitely felt like I was undergoing some sort of training. I've only been to the exact same location in the astral maybe 2 or 3 times, not enough times in same location to confirm whether or not it was a fake memory.