Friends and gay relationship

Hi all, I had a dream last night and I really want to know what it means. I usually don’t remember my dreams when I woke up. But the one from last night feels real.

In the dream I see the world in 1st person perspective. I can’t remember how it started, but from what I recalled, it begins in a kitchen. My friends and I were in a cooking class and I was team up with this friend, let call him “Mr. A”. (Just to give some background, I am a guy and I am not gay in real life. This friend is not gay either and he got a girlfriend while I am still single. I haven’t seen or contacted this friend for 4-5 years, so we are not close and never really were.) Through this class, he seems to develop a love feeling toward me. So he expressed his love to me. Although I feel strange, but for some reason I didn’t reject him but played along, so to him, he feel that we are couple and so does the others. For some reason he feels that the relationship have developed quickly and he want to propose. So the next instant that I remember, I was walking into a coffee shop and I was about to meet him in the shop. Two other friends were there as well (and again I haven’t seen these two guys for years). Mr. A whisper to my ear saying that he really really loves me and again I got goose bumps, but I once again pretended nothing happened. One of my other friends asked me what he said, and I just told him that he said nothing important. Then Mr. A talked to the two friends (they were some of our common friends) telling them that he wanted to propose to me. Then one of they said that “you really wanted to marry him, he is so childish”. When they have this conservation, it feels that I wasn’t there, so they are saying these stuff behind my back, but yet for some reason (I guess it is just normal in a dream) I hear it all. After that I woke up.

So could someone give me some idea what the dream means? It felt real, and it got me puzzle why I am interacting with all these friends that I haven’t contacted for such a long time and even involved in a homosexual relationship with one of them?

Thanks in advance.

I think sometimes our mind recalls faces from the past, going down memory lane. Perhaps wondering what happened to them? Or perhaps needing a face for the dream, and those faces just happen to be available? Or maybe you were not thinking of these friends precisely, but were thinking of something they represented and that brought back the memory of them - like if one of them really liked to cook for example?

How do you feel about homosexual relationships in real life? Are you tolerant toward them or homophobic? I think that would make a difference. For example if you are tolerant, maybe your mind wanted to give you a sense of what the other side lives like, empathizing with gay men? But if you are homophobic, maybe your mind wanted to make this stand in for impossible taboo relationship?

Another thought, if you are still single, could someone else be thinking that you are gay, and you picked up on that? I have known friends who were single, and their friends or family wondered about that incorrectly.

I wonder whether there is something in your life that makes you uneasy currently. Something where you feel trapped, like you are participating in it, but it is not by your choice? And this would not have to be a relationship, could be a job, or an idea someone had that you feel you are being forced to go along with? The dream is about love that you do not reciprocate, which is a powerful issue, a big issue. Something is a big issue to someone else, but makes you uneasy and you feel it is unimportant - or rather it is important but you do not wish to admit how you feel because you do not wish to hurt someone's feelings?

Of course, if any of my ideas do not sound right, feel free to discard them. If this is not it, could you give some ideas as to any big issues you are currently struggling with? What is going on i. Your life right now? Perhaps this dream ties in with that somehow. If you do not wish to share that, then try to self examine - the dreamer often makes the best dream interpreter, because you know more than anyone else what else is going on in your mind.

Thanks Joanna, I found that very helpful. I am currently at the final stages of my post-graduate study and I am under lot of pressure. My work had been heavily criticised by my supervisor and had been in lot of stress in the past year, to a point that I think I have developed depression. So I think this is the cause of this dream. Also for the same reason, I feel very powerless to stand up for myself, which I think it also reflected directly in my dream. The ‘childish’ thing, I think it is what I think others are thinking of me at the moment, being incompetent to handle my own problems. I guess Mr. A came into play because to me, he is that kind of leadership person that always know what to do. So I guess it is this quality of him that I am reflecting in my dream, and perhaps the marriage thing is just an indication that I wanted that quality to become part of me.

Many thanks for your help. Not only that you help me to decode my dream, but also help me to realise my problem and my true feeling.

Glad to have helped. I can relate to feeling depressed during graduate studies: been there, done that. I don't know whether your university offers that, but the university I went to offered free counseling to students, and basically it provided a trained therapist whom I could talk to. I found it helpful at that time to have someone to unload my troubles onto who was a good listener, and it helped me reach an important decision - I was the one who made the decision, the therapist mostly listened, but in the process of telling him what bothered me, I sorted things out for myself. All the best to you!