Please help if you can :)

Hello there :)

I've been interested about the subject of sleeping and dreams and how both connect to psychiatry a while ago , then I got really busy . However , I had this dream yesterday that brought the subject to my mind again so I'm determined on refocusing on this , knowing how interpreting dreams and understanding them can help us with our psychological understanding of ourselves and our different fears and aspirations . This is of special importance to me right now .

Anyway , the dream I'm talking about was yesterday . I was kissing an actor I know from a TV series I watch on a daily basis . He was wearing the same clothes from the episode I watched before sleeping . I was lying on a bed , completely relaxed , he was lying next to me and then got closer , looked into my eyes and I think we kissed .It was so quiet and beautiful .
There are some things in general you need to know .In real life , I have a boyfriend that I'm in love with , and our relationship isn't just ordinary , It's beautiful , the most beautiful thing I've every had in my life . However , we both suffer from major depressive disorders that we previously had long before we saw each other and returned like a year ago . We've been visiting a psychiatrist for 5 months now . I've questioned many of my beliefs and had a hard time figuring out whom I want to be and who I am in the first place . But it seems that one of the very few things I'm sure of is my love to this guy . Our relationship and the depth of our love have both been tested everyday for the previous year .
The problem that's driving me crazy is that I enjoyed this in the dream !! I enjoyed it to an unbelievable extent .. I am even going crazy trying to know more about this actor or if there's anything in the role he's playing that has something to do with me . Why did I enjoy it that much that whenever I remember it today I feel immense joy and I want to go through it again ?! Why him in particular ?!

Extra information : I'm a female of 20 years old . I am not sexually active with my boyfriend , we're waiting for marriage . Between now and then , we can have phone sex or something . I have never been obsessed with this guy I dreamt about or have fantasies about him . There's also something I don't know if it's relative : yesterday I saw a guy whom I was in love with years ago , holding hands with his girlfriend and they seemed happy , I was a little upset when I saw them not because of the happy thing , but because I saw him with another girl . Don't know what this means either .

I've talked too much , but I can't think of anything else right now except this dream and what meaning it can possibly give . Help me please until I know more on this whole subject if you can and I'm eternally grateful . Thank you so much :)

Personally, I would suggest that you not stress too much about it, and I know this is easier said than done! I know because I too have had depression like issues. I am happily married. And I had a dream in which I asked a coworker out for a date. So it happens. I was furious with myself at first, but then I accepted it, and moved on. i decided that as long as I continue when conscious of it to choose to remain faithful to my husband, what my subconscious does if i cannot control it, I will not worry about it. The thing to keep in mind is that our dreams are much more uninhibited than our waking mind. We may dream of doing things we would never do in waking life, and our morality/conscience would not allow it. But in our dreams, our judgement is impaired. Your dream seems like a fairly typical fantasy. Many of us fantasize about actors or the roles they play, and it is harmless as long as it remains a fantasy, I.e. as long as you do not go out and stalk this actor in real life, and as long as while awake you know whom you love and that it is not this actor. Also are you sure that when you think back to this dream, you are longing to experience it again with the actor and not just longing to experience a kiss, a longing for intimacy? Perhaps your dreaming mind somehow knew that you cannot have that yet with your boyfriend, and in fuzzy dream logic your mind decided to kiss someone else since your boyfriend was off limits? By the way, I also fully understand the waiting for marriage part, so I am not suggesting you should not wait, just that part of your mind longs for intimacy now.

Anyway, do not be too hard on yourself. I know how hard it is not to be too hard on oneself, but it is necessary. We are all human, and dreams and fantasies are just dreams and fantasies, as long as they do not reflect a problem in waking life or do not spoil our waking life, it's ok.

Thank you so much for your reply :)

Yes , your point makes sense on so many levels , especially those concerning intimacy and to add to your information , he's also travelled like two weeks ago . And I'm not being hard on myself for now . What really surprises me is how much I enjoy it . That's what I am really afraid of . One more thing I'm afraid of is whether this relates to the guy I saw the same day I had the dream .

So , do you think I should be concerned about my relationship ? And do you think I should try to have a lucid dream where I can get to know more about what happened ? Do lucid dreams offer you more on the exploring and controlling levels ?

Really thankful :)

I think that being worried about your relationship based on one dream alone would be counterproductive and might become a self fulfilling negative prophesy.

While you could have a lucid dream and seek out this guy and ask him a question, and yes this might produce a worthwhile answer, but there is also the risk that your dream answer might produce more questions than answers. So yes, I think it could be worth a try, but I would not count on the results.

Yes, I think your seeing that guy probably produced some weird confusing emotions and memories of emotions, which probably contributed to your having a confusing emotional dream about intimacy. However, unless you believe that in waking life you have some unresolved issues about this guy, I think it may not be important enough?

Well , I got your point .

I'll think first about the whole subject , from a number of aspects , then I'll try tonight to have the same dream in a lucid condition .

Thank you for your help :)

*Moved to Dream Interpretation*