Thread: Please help if you can :)

Personally, I would suggest that you not stress too much about it, and I know this is easier said than done! I know because I too have had depression like issues. I am happily married. And I had a dream in which I asked a coworker out for a date. So it happens. I was furious with myself at first, but then I accepted it, and moved on. i decided that as long as I continue when conscious of it to choose to remain faithful to my husband, what my subconscious does if i cannot control it, I will not worry about it. The thing to keep in mind is that our dreams are much more uninhibited than our waking mind. We may dream of doing things we would never do in waking life, and our morality/conscience would not allow it. But in our dreams, our judgement is impaired. Your dream seems like a fairly typical fantasy. Many of us fantasize about actors or the roles they play, and it is harmless as long as it remains a fantasy, I.e. as long as you do not go out and stalk this actor in real life, and as long as while awake you know whom you love and that it is not this actor. Also are you sure that when you think back to this dream, you are longing to experience it again with the actor and not just longing to experience a kiss, a longing for intimacy? Perhaps your dreaming mind somehow knew that you cannot have that yet with your boyfriend, and in fuzzy dream logic your mind decided to kiss someone else since your boyfriend was off limits? By the way, I also fully understand the waiting for marriage part, so I am not suggesting you should not wait, just that part of your mind longs for intimacy now.

Anyway, do not be too hard on yourself. I know how hard it is not to be too hard on oneself, but it is necessary. We are all human, and dreams and fantasies are just dreams and fantasies, as long as they do not reflect a problem in waking life or do not spoil our waking life, it's ok.

Thank you so much for your reply

Yes , your point makes sense on so many levels , especially those concerning intimacy and to add to your information , he's also travelled like two weeks ago . And I'm not being hard on myself for now . What really surprises me is how much I enjoy it . That's what I am really afraid of . One more thing I'm afraid of is whether this relates to the guy I saw the same day I had the dream .

So , do you think I should be concerned about my relationship ? And do you think I should try to have a lucid dream where I can get to know more about what happened ? Do lucid dreams offer you more on the exploring and controlling levels ?

Really thankful

I think that being worried about your relationship based on one dream alone would be counterproductive and might become a self fulfilling negative prophesy.

While you could have a lucid dream and seek out this guy and ask him a question, and yes this might produce a worthwhile answer, but there is also the risk that your dream answer might produce more questions than answers. So yes, I think it could be worth a try, but I would not count on the results.

Yes, I think your seeing that guy probably produced some weird confusing emotions and memories of emotions, which probably contributed to your having a confusing emotional dream about intimacy. However, unless you believe that in waking life you have some unresolved issues about this guy, I think it may not be important enough?

Well , I got your point .

I'll think first about the whole subject , from a number of aspects , then I'll try tonight to have the same dream in a lucid condition .

Thank you for your help

*Moved to Dream Interpretation*