Highschool rewind

I keep having this reoccurring dream theme that themes 'me being in high school again'. Although I am only twenty and that was only a couple of years ago the dream seems to center around me wanting something more out of life, realizing truth that I can't have what I want or desire, and then being stuck in this realization because I can't have a high-school sweetheart (I'm gay or rather lesbian) and dealt with it in high school but it never was an issue to me or other people. I don't know what these dreams me to me other than that they seem to reflect of my real life but when I remember them they feel very important to where they seem to mean more.

Recent dream number 1:

In my dream I am in a situation where I go to and from school with one of my best friends. We stop at a house that is supposed to be where I live but is a lot nicer than anything I ever lived in and I would consider it to be my 'grownup have a career' dream home. A black truck pulls up into the drive-way when I'm thinking about a girl that I have a crush on. The car had a design of a web and a spider in the from except the web was poorly drawn and looked like it was coming apart. I thought it was ridiculous that someone would have something like that on their truck and related to real life ridiculous car decorations and then thought 'who was driving the truck!' as it had almost ran me over. I was with me friend at the end of the dream except she seemed like she wanted to leave and then my crush seemed to be part of the truck, either like she was driving it or in it.

Past dream number 2: I am at my high-school which looks nothing like my high school in real life that I went to. I'm confused about where everyone and go to look for them. I find them but they look bored, are ignoring me, and they won't come with me to my 'next dream'. I told them there were better places to be but they all looked stoned. I then am a little bit higher off the ground and can't reach them. I then have another dream involving my
crush. she runs up to me after trying to get my attention. I turn around and then she drifts towards me. I then realize something as she as looking at and kisses me on the lips. I realize that I am dreaming for a brief second but just enough to ask "why am I dreaming about this girl still?"

Note: I had been a few years, I had no contact with here, didn't and still don't have a desire to be with her or attracted to her. but on the side not she seemed to like me after I told here I liked her and that I was lesbian. At first she wouldn't talk to me but then she once got too close to me and was hiding behind me while a boy was flipping his skateboard, was looking at me during lunch, at a pep assembly she was in cheer-leading and she did a double spiral flip and then looked up at me in the stadium which my friend then saw her look up at me too and smirked. But, both me and my friend never knew why she didn't tell me she liked me because she seemed too.


Why are these feelings still there for her? Something doesn't feel right about these dreams.

First of all, school seems to leave a permanent imprint on people: we dream of school even once we are adults many years out of school. So there is nothing unnatural about having school dreams even once one is not in school any more, and these dreams might not stop or they might come back even decades after. My boss who is in his sixties has told me that he at times has dreams of being back in school. School years are very formative years in many ways: they are a time during which we learn not only school stuff but how to live and who to become; we learn social lessons and psychological and moral lessons. School often is either a time to be nostalgic about (before life's responsibilities, where relationships were still just crushes and thus simpler) or a time that sucked so much that it is what our nightmares are made of (a time when noone understood us and we were lost and uncertain, etc.). Either way, school leaves an imprint in one way or another.

Why are you still dreaming of that girl? I do not know. But perhaps the following questions might help you figure it out. Are you currently in a relationship? If yes, are you happily in a relationship. If no, do you wish you were. Is it complicated? What is it that you liked about that girl? Why did you have that crush? Could she stand for something in your mind? Do you have regrets about that - wishing you could have handled it better, that something had happened between the two of you? What if scenarios?

The truck having a web on it, might symbolize that you feel stuck somehow. Almost being run over may symbolize a near miss very bad situation, an accident waiting to happen, or something else entirely of course (just brainstorming here, but there are many options). I think it may be significant that it seemed to you like your friend wanted to leave you, so there is an impending threat of being left alone in a dangerous situation. The crush being in that car, may be symbolic for the dangerous situation being one about a relationship, maybe.

In the next dream, you are alone in a social situation, feeling all alone in a crowd, feeling ignored. It is interesting however that unlike the other people, your crush actually is trying to get your attention, so at least someone is not ignoring you, which may be good all told. One nifty trick that other people who were into dream interpretation have taught me is to look at other dream characters as also symbolizing oneself, another aspect of oneself. So if you look at it that way, maybe there is a part of you that is trying to get your attention, a part of you that loves you, and kisses you, and yet you reject that part of you at this time because you think it is just a dream. Of course, it is a dream, but that part of you may well be very real and be desperately trying to get your attention in a positive way if you would just accept her/yourself.

Note: if this makes no sense, please disregard.