Back to School

I have this dream about twice a year.

I find myself sitting in an old classroom that I remember from the past. Oh, Geez! Not this again, I think. I know that those days were horrible for me, and here I am - having to live them over again!

I can't be here! I think. I know so much more than these people here! I've been to college! I'm the boss at work!

The teacher is explaining something to me that I already know. I raise my hand to try to tell her, but she ignores me. I sit there and look around me. Some people, one or two of them, are looking at me funny...like what are YOU doing here? Others don't seem to notice me at all.

I didn't have any friends in school. That's what made it so awful. I was lonely, lost, confused.

The bell rings.

I gather up my books and head out the door. I know this place, it's either high school or junior high. Where's my locker? The lighting is brown and confusing. The walls are old. The floors creak.

I bump into people on my way to my next class...forget my locker. I need to find someone who will listen to me; someone that I can explain to that I'm not supposed to be here! Who is that? Who do I speak with?

These dreams are real! I can smell the books, hear the laughter in the halls. I can feel the dread of the coming classes. Sometimes I look on my schedule and see that I have PE next - my least favorite class. I've been skipping that one for a while now, haven't I? How will I get caught up!?

Maybe I can slip out of this place. I duck into an open door. Usually these dreams have water in them. A pool, showers, a hot tub, and once the room was set under the ocean so that I could see the waves in windows set high up in the walls.

I usually wake from these dreams feeling cold and scared. Society was forcing me to do something that I didn't want to do...go to school at my age.

This is one of the long list of dreams that I have - some of them I've written about in this forum and have been satisfied with the interpretations (to the point where I haven't had these dreams any more).

Help me with this one, Obi-Wan! Please! You're my only hope.:D

Well "back at school" dreams are one of the most common. But I've never heard the experience expressed as:

Society was forcing me to do something that I didn't want to do...go to school at my age


before. Sounds to me like a feeling of being pushed around and you're angry about it. Anger hides fear (and hurt) - and it's the fear that you wake up with.

You might not be school age as such, but your dreams will containa lifetime of experiences!

Hello,

It seems to me that the overall impression of your dream is that you perhaps aren't living up to your own expectations, or feel that you can aim higher than you are. It seems that these are emotions you've been very reluctant to face in waking life.

The presence of being in school - a place that you're done with and where you know all the work - seems to indicate that you feel yourself held back in your life. You're in a place where you don't feel comfortable and where you don't feel you have emotional support. This seems to be echoed straight-out in the comment, "I need to find someone who will listen to me." It sounds also like there is a self-esteem problem; that you have trouble believing that you could do better than you are; the teacher won't listen when you know the answers, perhaps reflecting that others are ignoring your potential or keeping you in your place. Have you perhaps been passed over for a promotion or some such thing that would bring this on, perhaps by someone less qualified but who has a higher degree, or is it a general feel that your quality isn't being recognized? It feels like this might be a career-oriented concern? It also seems that you state right out that you need someone else to confirm for you that you have more potential than is being recognized; you are looking for it in your dream; someone who will listen to you and tell you what you already know, that you don't belong.

The unpreparedness you feel for PE - the class you don't like - seems to reflect also a fear of change, that if your merits are recognized that you then wouldn't be able to live up to the new responsibilites; lack of self-esteem and a fear of the challenge; that you wouldn't be good enough. Perhaps also why you need someone giving you encouragement and emotional support?

Running away into water seems very significant. Water in a dream almost always represents the emotions. It seems that your subconscious is definitely trying to show you there are some feelings in your life that you need to examine! Being submerged in water - ie, the sunken school - usually represents an exploration of emotion, but the fact that you are shielded from the water/emotions by the school around you seems further reflective of hiding from those emotions; of not letting them touch you even though they flood the world.

Hope that helps. :)

Edit: I wonder if it's alternatively possible that you could have a sibling or friend who is doing "better than you" and you feel this is due to a degree that they have?

Thanks, guys - this has all helped me out a lot.

Back in school, I was a nobody, picked on. I just didn't care about anything, and school wasn't a place to learn anymore - it was a painful place that I was forced to attend.

In high school, my GPA was 1.00.

I think some of this has to do with the fact that I'm a member of a minority group (Native American) and the school that I attended was (back then) mostly caucasians.

I stopped going to school in my junior year. I took and passed my GED test with flying colors (the only perfect-score on the English Test that the instructor had ever seen...hey, I like to read :) ).

In college, I started out majoring in English. They thought I wouldn't do so well, so they started me out in English 101. After I passed that course with a perfect A, I was moved up to Senior Level English 390, and I began tutoring other students in the Academic Skills Center. My GPA was 3.86.

After college, I got a job at a local radio station and became the number-one deejay in three counties. I wrote several books, bought a new house, and I drive a very nice car.

My self-esteem went through the roof! I was boisterous, arrogant, and I wanted to pay back everybody who ever treated me badly in high school. The number one abuser was...my older sister!

Today, my older sister is on drugs. She lives in her boyfriend's house. She's constantly having a hard time, never went to college, and can't hold down a good job.

The thing about self-esteem really smacked me hard here. I don't like these school dreams, because in the dream I'm 38 and I'm sitting in a room full of rowdy brats, knees up to my chin.

I know that I have a self-esteem problem. I don't make friends easily, and I really don't miss not having many friends. The friends that I do have are carefully chosen, and I treat them wonderfully. I'm just afraid of being hurt again, I know.

Out of all of my mom's children, she considers me to be the most successful. But I was a middle-child. My older sister was my dad's baby...my youngest sister was my mom's. I always had to over-achieve to gain any recognition. For years, I overcompensated by lifting weights and taking my frustrations out with physical fitness. I looked better than I had ever looked in my life, it was amazing!

One day - it snapped. I stopped trying to dance in the spotlight to make them proud of me. And that's when they realized...hey, wait a minute! Where's what's-his-name!? He hasn't been trying to impress us for a while!

I turned to God and Jesus, got a job as a supervisor working with my people's history, and met and married a wonderful person!

The insight that you've given me is valuable. It's helping me to see myself, and it is truly appreciated on all levels.

Thanks!:D