Not a dream but about some dreams
I've been having dreams for the last couple of nights about K no longer being interested in me. I feel sad in the dreams and I can’t seem to figure out how to change her mind. The dreams are somewhat vague and hard to remember but there always seems to be others in the dream that I am not paying attention to. I will call them background people. These are not to be confused with the Observers that show up in my dreams from time to time and seem to be watching the dream but not really part of the dream. I think that they are like when I am an Observer in the dream, watching what is going on but not really part of the action. Usually I have two body's in these dreams. The one I'm in and the one that I am Observing. Sometimes I switch between the two. But before I get to far off the point of this entry back to the topic at hand.
In all the dreams K will not even try to talk to me about the problem and just seems like she is over me. I wonder if this is some kind of deep rooted fear that I've been suppressing till now. Is this coming up now because I am married to her. One thing I should do is explore the feeling and find out what it is. I should also come up with an action or attitude that I can take in the dream to correct the problem. Something that will help me overcome the fear. I could looking beyond the moment and realize that if she doesn't want me there is always someone else. With true confidence I can explain to her that I love her but that doesn't mean I won't walk away from her. I'm not going to spend my time moping if she doesn't love me and see in me all the things she needs. I will also explain to her that if she wants me to change she is going to have to change because she is getting the result that she is creating by her action. I will be truthful with her that I love her but I don't need her. I will live fine ether way and that it’s up to her to figure out what she wants. I will tell her that I will be living my life if she would like to join me. This can apply to my waking life as well if the circumstance arises.
By the way I really like that line, “I will be living my life if you would like to join me.”
Old Friends and Old Places
I was in a store I use to work at and one of my old friends was working there again. E was the store manager and he had cleared out the whole front of the store. I tried to talk to him but he wouldn't talk to me. It was like he didn't know me and didn't really what to get in a conversation. D was working there and L was also there. I wasn't happy to see L as she wasn't my favorite person. There was also a lady from where I work now. She was really close friends with L and she wanted me to go over and talk to her. I was looking for a book on resumes but I don't remember what I ended up buying.
Than I woke
Lets Crack This Open and Accuse the Root
I went to visit M who was living in a rural town in another state. While at his house, I was going to show him my avatar on the Dream View forum, I can't remember why I didn't. At some point I was changing my clothes and started complaining about how fat I was and that I needed to lose some weight. He was looking at me and saying that it wasn't true. Then I was going out and as I started to leave there was a voice like a narrator that said “this wasn't going to be a good idea.” I mentally ask why and the voice replied “you'll see”.
I was now walking through a multi level parking lot and as I went around a corner I found myself in, what turned out to be, the temporary office of the parking authority. One of the lady's in the office came at me saying something about me owing money for parking in the wrong place. She showed me a video of someone parking their car. I couldn't really see the video; all I could see was a white car with its tag blurred out and someone next to the car with the face blurred out. I asked her where I had miss parked and I think the video showed that it was at some farmers market. I couldn't remember being near any farmers market, but I thought I didn't know the area that well and it was possible there was one I didn't see. I asked to see the tape again so I could try to see where it was and also to make sure it was me in the tape. She seemed to be having some problems with the tape and at first I thought she couldn't get it to work again. But then she started to get aggravated and it was more like she didn't want to show me. I persisted and that's when some guy came in that also worked there. He was in his late 60's and was wearing a plaid shirt and a blue windbreaker. His hair was graying blond with black mixed in. He seemed to be an ex-cop that was working here now. He was like their muscle. His said something to the effect that he could help me remember and the next thing I knew he had my head in a lock with his arm and he was using an exacto knife on one of my lower front teeth. I could feel the blade wiggling in under the gum but I didn't feel any pain. He was asking me if I remembered now and when I didn't answer right away he said. “Let’s crack this open and accuse the root.” it was only at this point I realized he wasn't helping me to remember but was trying to force me to confess. I broke out of the headlock and said something to them, I can't remember what. I spit out some blood and then wiped more blood off my lips with the back of my hand. I said something like “what the hell is wrong with you” and then I started following them out of the room. I wanted to try to scare them so I said “you don't know who you are dealing with” thinking at the time it was lame but hoping it would work. The Cop said you’re not using that lame line are you. That’s when I looked down and all I was wearing was a light blue button up shirt that was unbuttoned. I stop to get dressed and that’s when I woke.
Looking For A Rock (Lucid)
I had a lucid dream last night but it was not as vivid as most of the lucid dreams I've had in the past.
I don't remember the entire dream and I don't know what triggered it. I did not wake after the dream even though I remember losing lucidness.
Looking For A Rock (Lucid)
I was flying and I knew I was dreaming. I stopped and started looking at my hand and rubbing them together. This stabilized the dream and I remembered that I wanted to look under a rock in my next lucid dream. I started looking around but I couldn't find a rock I thought was big enough. There were some small gray ones but I wanted a larger rock. It was like I was inside and I did not think to go outside. The colors in the dream were very dark and fuzzy.
Any dream is better than no dream and any lucid dream is better than no lucid dream.