Thread: Muhdi's Dream Journal

I've been having dreams for the last couple of nights about K no longer being interested in me. I feel sad in the dreams and I can’t seem to figure out how to change her mind. The dreams are somewhat vague and hard to remember but there always seems to be others in the dream that I am not paying attention to. I will call them background people. These are not to be confused with the Observers that show up in my dreams from time to time and seem to be watching the dream but not really part of the dream. I think that they are like when I am an Observer in the dream, watching what is going on but not really part of the action. Usually I have two body's in these dreams. The one I'm in and the one that I am Observing. Sometimes I switch between the two. But before I get to far off the point of this entry back to the topic at hand.


In all the dreams K will not even try to talk to me about the problem and just seems like she is over me. I wonder if this is some kind of deep rooted fear that I've been suppressing till now. Is this coming up now because I am married to her. One thing I should do is explore the feeling and find out what it is. I should also come up with an action or attitude that I can take in the dream to correct the problem. Something that will help me overcome the fear. I could looking beyond the moment and realize that if she doesn't want me there is always someone else. With true confidence I can explain to her that I love her but that doesn't mean I won't walk away from her. I'm not going to spend my time moping if she doesn't love me and see in me all the things she needs. I will also explain to her that if she wants me to change she is going to have to change because she is getting the result that she is creating by her action. I will be truthful with her that I love her but I don't need her. I will live fine ether way and that it’s up to her to figure out what she wants. I will tell her that I will be living my life if she would like to join me. This can apply to my waking life as well if the circumstance arises.

By the way I really like that line, “I will be living my life if you would like to join me.”

The Train

We’d traveled along way looking for somewhere to call home and now we where there. We all left the train and walked up a hill on to a grassy plane. We decided this was where we’d live. There were no houses, everyone just lived outside, and it seemed the weather was always good. Some time past, I don’t know how long, and I met a girl and we were going to get married. Shortly after that some of the people decided they wanted to go back were we came from so they set off back to the train. I don’t know why but a short time after they left a friend and I decided we’d follow them and make sure they were ok. When we arrived at the tracks it was dark and the train was there but the people weren’t. We started looking for them and that’s when we noticed some of the windows on the train were broken. Then we saw the portal that we’d come through was closed. My friend and I knew there was no way back to where we came from. We didn’t know if the others had gone through before it closed.

The Witch on the Wall

Suddenly a door opened in thin air, it was like gravity changed and we were pulled towards it. As I “fell” I saw the face of a haggard old woman looking through the door at me. Just before I fell through she pulled back. My friend and I fell to the ground and now the doorway floated in the sky out of reach. I knew the door had something to do with the missing people. We looked up and all that was in this world were two large white walls one on the left and one on the right. They both had ledges on them and the ledge on the right had a witch on it and the one on the left had a lady who was her prisoner. I knew that the witch was going to eat us but before she could the prisoner tricked her into opening a doorway so we could get away. I didn’t want to leave the prisoner behind but she yelled at us to hurry before the door closed.

Not Home Yet

We found ourselves in a world, which at first glance, seemed to be the right one. My friend and I walked in to a building that was nearby. Someone asked us for something, I don’t know what, but when we didn't give it to them they called the authorities and we found out it was some kind of police state. We ran before the police could get there and then I woke up.

Note: When I was 14 I woke from a nightmare with my heart racing but as I thought about it I realized how extraordinary what I just experienced was. How I could face even death and not get hurt. So at that very moment I decided I liked nightmares and I have not had one since. To most the dream below would be a nightmare but to me it’s a fantastic experience. I value all of my dreams but my “nightmares” are some of the most creative and exhilarating dreams that I have.

The Black

I was in a world that was decaying but the decay was more than physical. It was like looking at a person you knew who has passed away and the feeling you get like you're looking at an empty vessel, a shell, which the spirit and soul have fled. The sky was red like there was fire burning at the horizon. Like hell was on its way. Bones littered the ground and seemed to be everywhere. Some of the structures seemed to be built with bones and decaying flesh.

I was with a small group of people, no more than 15, and we were in an abandoned neighborhood looking for some place inside before “The Black” came. The only place that was safe was inside and even there you were not completely safe. We found an empty house and went inside. The inside seemed normal, even nice, but It looked like the person who'd lived there was in the process of packing or unpacking, there were boxes scattered about. I went in the kitchen with a lady who had come from Africa. She looked to be around 65 but that's all I knew about her.

We were in the kitchen when “it” came. “The Black,” a rushing mist coming fast covering everything. In the rolling mist you could see the decaying tortured souls of the lost who were being carried along like they were caught up in a black rushing wave. Those taken before, the lost, demons, and all manner of tortured spirits writhed in the mist. The Black encircled us blacking out everything, the red sky, the decaying world. All we could see was The Black and we could feel its hunger pulling on us.

The lady with me in the kitchen became transfixed by something in the mist. I couldn't see what it was but her face expressed both horror and longing. Before I knew what she was doing she ran to the door and opened it. I rushed to grab her but it was too late. Charred decaying blacked arms seemed to form out of the mist and as soon as they touched her she was gone. I closed the door in shock and horror unsure what to think or do. She was the first one I saw taken.

It seemed some time past, more people found their way to where we were and more of the houses were occupied. Now it was like a small community in this dying world. A friend and I decided we needed to try and find others who might still be alive. Hopefully some family members too. We set off to look for them in a nearby town. I could feel the fear of making such a trip, of being caught in the open with nowhere “Inside,” caught by The Black but I knew I had to go.


The Town


I don't remember the journey but I know we weren't far from where we'd started and we made it there OK. We had come down the mountain to a village that was at its base. It sat on the sure near the ocean. There were a few fishing boats and there seemed to be more people in this town. The skies were blue and trees were all around. It was like the worst of the decay hadn't reached this far. They had experienced The Black and they had even lost people to it but they seemed to think they could handle it and they also believed it wasn't going to get any worse. My friend and I tried to tell them about the hell that was on it's way but they just scoffed at us. So we started to ask after people we knew and family members. We try to warn whoever would listen but no one would.

Then the Black came, we could see it roaring down the mountain with all its tortured souls in tow. I scrambled into a glass case that had and old boat setting on top of it. I franticly looked around to insure it was completely enclosed so the Black couldn't get in. For the moment I was safe. Everything went dark as the Black surrounded me but it past quickly this time. As I came out of the glass structure others were already outside. They look frazzled but seemed to be handling it OK. I didn't know if anyone was taken. The Black didn't have a set time that it would come but it could be days, weeks, or months between, but not this time. Only moments later the Black returned catching even me off guard. It was like it knew what the people would do and it was setting us up. I could see it rolling over the houses coming right at me. I was stunned by the sight of it and for a moment I didn't move. In shock I watched this black mist sweeping towards me transfixed by the sight of it and all the lost and dammed souls in it. Some of the souls walked around in the mist calling out to love ones trying to tempt them. I watched as an old Russian lady was taken by the mist. She was grabbed by ghostly arms, with clear signs of rot on them, which formed out of the mist. In the blink of an eye she became mist and vanished in to the Black. That's when I ran finding “Inside” in a sun-room on the back of a house nearby. There were only three of us in the sun-room myself, my friend, and a large black man that I didn't know. I could hear the cries of torment in the mist. They seem to coalesce into the voice of a child. Then the child form just outside the window looking in on us. I looked at the man with us and he was crying as he looked at the child. I could tell by the anguish on his face the child was his. I held him back to keep him from going outside. I told him I didn't know if that was his son or if it was some cursed phantom who was trying to lure him out. I said it didn't matter, his son was gone and there was nothing we could do. I tried to comfort him.


The end of the end


Soon the Black past and I went outside. We could see the mist pulling back, moving up the mountain to a small peek that jutted out over the sea. There was a flash of black and a beam that shot into the sky like a black laser. I could feel it in my heart that the Black was gone for good. I could feel elation starting to rise in my soul but before it could peek the world started to crumble and fall apart. It was like the ultimate in spite and as I watch the world fall apart all I could do was think to myself “Why” and wait to die.

Then I woke up.

I was on an island with my brother and some other people from a cruise we were on. We were waiting for the ruler of the island to come out and meet with us. There were a lot of people; it was like a large party. Most of the people looked gray and I couldn’t see their features but I wasn’t really looking at them they were just background people. The ruler was apparently a real jerk and no one liked him. He was a cruel leader that would kill people for the slightest reason. He came in to the area where we were and walked past us like we weren’t even there and went into another room. I wasn’t impressed with him and I was feeling quite a bit of disdain when they brought out the topiary of the island we’d made as a gift. At some point I’d thrown my dirty socks on it and now my brother and some others were trying to franticly take them off before the ruler returned. I went over to help and my brother was looking at me, as he removed my socks, like I was crazy. I returned a look as if to say “what of it.” Then he noticed that I had put fabric from some of my dirty socks on the branches of some of the larger trees. Instead of trying to remove them he started putting pine needles in them. I don't know if he was trying to cover them up or if he was acting like they were part of the topiary.
The ruler came back in the room and now he was a she. The features were the same but clearly a woman’s features. For some reason I had more sympathy for the ruler and didn't want to overtly offend her. She didn’t look at the gift we brought but some of her servants carried it away. She came over and looked at me. I bowed slightly and then we went back to the ship.

Back to the Ship

I was glad to be back on the ship so I started jumping around seeing how high I could jump. I was in a large open area in the middle of the ship and there were lots of people around. My brother was afraid that I was going to land on someone but I was able to change direction in the air and guide myself into the empty spaces. After a few jumps I could touch the ceiling that was about 3 stories up. The ceiling was a dark gray and looked like it was made of metal. Once my jumps were high enough I started dragging my hands across it on each pass. I thought to myself “this could be a dream” but then thought if it were a dream I could jump higher than that. “DAM IT,” That’s about when I woke up.

I didn't remember any dreams from last night. I am however having flashes of the dreams that I had but every time I try to focus on them they vanish. I cannot seem to hold on to them. Some times when this happens the dreams will come to me later so I will wait to see if it does this time. The way this usually works for me is I will have this hard to focus on flash all day and then it’s like a flood gate opens and the dream comes back to me all at once. Sometimes it can be exhilarating if the dream turns out to be story like. It could be that my subconscious is just putting the pieces together and serving it up to me as a hole. I don't know but I can say I like it when it happens. It’s a rush as the dream floods my mind with all its sights and sounds. Sometimes this happens right after waking when I can grab onto something in the dream and use it like a wedge to open the door to the dream. I try to remember anything even if it’s just the way I was feeling. So here's hoping that the dreams will come to me when they're ready.

I was in a store I use to work at and one of my old friends was working there again. E was the store manager and he had cleared out the whole front of the store. I tried to talk to him but he wouldn't talk to me. It was like he didn't know me and didn't really what to get in a conversation. D was working there and L was also there. I wasn't happy to see L as she wasn't my favorite person. There was also a lady from where I work now. She was really close friends with L and she wanted me to go over and talk to her. I was looking for a book on resumes but I don't remember what I ended up buying.
Than I woke

I was at a funeral for a friend who had died. We were having the service in a small room in the mall. There were no windows and the walls were light green. There was nothing else on the walls. It looked like the room had been some kind of storage but was cleared out now. We were setting on foldout chairs and waiting for the preacher to come and start the service. As we waited one of the lady's in the row I was in started yelling about something. I could not understand her and she seemed like she was drunk. Someone told her that she needed to be quiet but she did not listen. Then one of the guys in the front row got up and started yelling at her. I could not understand what he was saying ether. Then he stormed out of the room to go get someone to remove the lady. He came back with the preacher and he was asking what the problem was. Another lady in the front row started pointing at the one in my row and saying “she’s the problem.” I got up and left the room as I didn't want to listen to the arguing.
I came back later and now everyone was watching a movie on TV. I remember seeing the movie before and in it there was a scene where the kid in the movie hid all the money as a joke. I thought I would lighten the mood so I decided to do the same thing. They were taking up a collection and when it came to me I grabbed it and ran out the door. After I did it I realized that it might not have been a good idea so I went back. The lady that was in charge had called the police and they were taking statements. I walked in and gave the money back and said that it was just a joke like in the movie. She said she did not watch the movie and I thought that explained why she did not get the joke. The police started getting up and leaving satisfied with what I said.
Then I woke.

The dream from the 18th did not come to me. sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't.

I went to visit M who was living in a rural town in another state. While at his house, I was going to show him my avatar on the Dream View forum, I can't remember why I didn't. At some point I was changing my clothes and started complaining about how fat I was and that I needed to lose some weight. He was looking at me and saying that it wasn't true. Then I was going out and as I started to leave there was a voice like a narrator that said “this wasn't going to be a good idea.” I mentally ask why and the voice replied “you'll see”.
I was now walking through a multi level parking lot and as I went around a corner I found myself in, what turned out to be, the temporary office of the parking authority. One of the lady's in the office came at me saying something about me owing money for parking in the wrong place. She showed me a video of someone parking their car. I couldn't really see the video; all I could see was a white car with its tag blurred out and someone next to the car with the face blurred out. I asked her where I had miss parked and I think the video showed that it was at some farmers market. I couldn't remember being near any farmers market, but I thought I didn't know the area that well and it was possible there was one I didn't see. I asked to see the tape again so I could try to see where it was and also to make sure it was me in the tape. She seemed to be having some problems with the tape and at first I thought she couldn't get it to work again. But then she started to get aggravated and it was more like she didn't want to show me. I persisted and that's when some guy came in that also worked there. He was in his late 60's and was wearing a plaid shirt and a blue windbreaker. His hair was graying blond with black mixed in. He seemed to be an ex-cop that was working here now. He was like their muscle. His said something to the effect that he could help me remember and the next thing I knew he had my head in a lock with his arm and he was using an exacto knife on one of my lower front teeth. I could feel the blade wiggling in under the gum but I didn't feel any pain. He was asking me if I remembered now and when I didn't answer right away he said. “Let’s crack this open and accuse the root.” it was only at this point I realized he wasn't helping me to remember but was trying to force me to confess. I broke out of the headlock and said something to them, I can't remember what. I spit out some blood and then wiped more blood off my lips with the back of my hand. I said something like “what the hell is wrong with you” and then I started following them out of the room. I wanted to try to scare them so I said “you don't know who you are dealing with” thinking at the time it was lame but hoping it would work. The Cop said you’re not using that lame line are you. That’s when I looked down and all I was wearing was a light blue button up shirt that was unbuttoned. I stop to get dressed and that’s when I woke.

From now on I will assume that I am dreaming and try to prove it rather than the other way around. I hope by doing this I can help prevent coming to the wrong conclusions when I think I am dreaming in my dreams. So every time I think about dreaming or think to do a state test or for any reason think I might be dreaming until I can rule it out completely I will consider it a dream. One important note, all my state checks should be safe. No jumping off buildings or trying to stop 18 wheelers with my bear hands.

I was with my brother and we travel from the east coast to California in a day, by car, and ended up at the beach. The day was a little over cast but there were no clouds in the sky and the water didn't have any waves or at least the waves were very small. As we started walking down the beach my brother was telling me about an Native American tribe that migrated up the coast. He walked a little ahead of me and than a blue whale jumped out of the water about 10 feet from shore. I was shocked to see the whale that close in but when I looked at the water it was like the seabed dropped off 10 feet out. The whale was jumping repeatedly in the same place. I thought it might be doing tricks for food. Then I thought we would need a lot of food. I started to walk closer and the next thing I knew I was in the water and the whale was gone. I tried to get out using a ladder like one you'd find on the side of a pool but I couldn't get out. I called out for my brother to help me but he just stared at me with a stupid smile like he thought it was funny. I had the same feeling I did when I was a little kid and he would torment me. I was worried about being in the water if the whale came back and started jumping around again. I pushed on the ground but it was slimy and was more like jelly that I couldn't push off of. The whole time I was try to push on the ground I was thinking about what could be down there. I think I was more worried about cutting my foot on a barnacle than anything else. I finely found a wire wrapped around the upper part of my right leg that I thought was the cause of me being stuck in the water. The wire was thin and black and looked like it had been underwater for some time. I broke it and started to climb out. Then I woke.

I was at a family gathering at my sister's house. I was standing at a table with three kids who were doing some crafts. I knew, somehow, they didn't like me but it was something that happened before we were born. There was a girl with us who for some reason I thought was god. I wasn't sure if she was god but then I thought god could appear in any form. I was asking her what happen when we were angels, before we fell and were born in to this life, which caused the kids not to like me. I had a flash and one of the kids looked like a demon. I knew they had been further from God when Lucifer lost his rebellion in heaven. She move over to the TV and seemed to be changing channels. She asked me if I really wanted to know and I said yes. I could feel a swelling of emotion that seemed to come from a long time of doubt and confusion. Tears started to come to my eyes and I felt desperation to feel the faith I once did. I thought somehow knowing what happened to us before the fall would bring it to me.

The Kid Before the Fall

The scene changed and it was like I was watching the story as “she” told it. I could see one of the kids and he was in the form of a billy goat. He was running around and God was chasing him. It was like they were playing. Something happened and the goat started crashing through houses and they started collapsing. He ran away and hid, God was looking for him but it seemed to be more out of worry than anger.
The scene changed, I was back in my sister's house and the girl I thought was god was sitting on the couch next to me. She poured a large amount of oil on me and I got up. She started talking to my sister about something and then she said “he will do what boys do”.

Islands in the Cave

The scene changed again and I was walking around underwater and I started jumping up and down, coming to the surface and then going back down to the bottom. The water was surrounded by a large arena like at Sea World. I went underwater and when I came up again I was in a large cave that was clay colored with large stalactites dropping down for the roof off in the distance. There was a man standing on a platform and it was only a little bigger than he was. The platform was about a foot underwater. He was holding a long pole that had other long poles coming off of it. It was like a model of the planets but instead of planets, at the end of the horizontal poles, there were lines dropping down into the water attached to small islands that shimmered through the rippling waves. The islands seemed to be small pieces of paradise that glowed with greens and blues. I went underwater and the greens and blues were all around me. I came up next to the man holding the pole and asked him why not just create a new world without humans that could be perfect and we couldn't destroy it. It was a rhetorical question I asked as I thought about where the world is today. I decided, a little too late, I shouldn't have ask him because he would think he was god and expect me to worship him. But it was too late, and he started to tell me he had created it and it was in another dimension and I should know that.

The Faith

I started moving away from him and found myself back in the arena walking around underwater thinking about God and why I could not feel the faith I once did. I jumped to the top of the stadium and looked down and saw a man in the water I knew shouldn't be there. He was in trouble and drowning. I jumped down to grabbed him and then I pulled him back up to the top of the stadium. I cleared the water from his lungs and he took a deep breath and looked at me. I could see the thankfulness in his eyes as I moved back into the crowd of others who came to help him. I walked down to where my stepmother and sister where. They were talking about what I'd done and didn't know how I could jump so far. My stepmother said it was "God’s will." I didn't know if the girl I met was god but I thought there was more I didn't know than I did. So I decided I would just keep believing and that’s when I felt a spark of faith in my heart, I smiled to myself and with a tear of joy in my eye I thanked God and then I woke.

Last night I had my 1st lucid dream in a long time. I went to bed trying to WILD but ended up just falling asleep. I was trying to be relaxed as I continued to maintain my conscious state. I was using the word lucid as an anchor and as a reminder.

Betrayal

I was at a celebration for my recent marriage. The gathering was extremely large with a lot of people and was being thrown by my wife’s parents. It was at a large building built into the side of a slow sloping cliff that over looked the ocean. The building belonged to my wife’s parents. I went into my room for some reason and was around the corner when two of my wife’s friends came in. I stepped out meaning to say hello but the two ladies’ that came in had taken off their clothes. One of them was laying on the bed with her body fully visible to me. She was beautiful. I step back around the corner and was at a loss what to do. I wanted to leave but was unsure how I could get out of the room without them seeing me. That’s when my wife walked in and I thought “GREAT,” thinking if she saw me she would think I was intentionally watching her friends. I looked around the corner and was shocked to see her lying naked on the bed with one of the ladies. I didn't have a lot of time to think about how that made me feel because at about that time two guys came in. They also took off their clothes and I knew I was not happy about that. My wife and the two ladies got up and went over to them and I could feel my anger growing. Then my wife's father and mother came in and her father started yelling at them. It was like he was afraid they would get caught not that they were really doing anything wrong. One of the guys said “were not having sex were just having fun.” I could see water and soap bubbles on his shoulder like they were bathing together. Then everyone left the room and I went out and sat on the edge of the bed. I was so angry and it just kept growing and as it grew I could feel everything I felt for my wife, all of the happiness, love, Joy, and hope for the future being stripped away. The anger became a large void within me where I felt nothing.

Waiting for Tomorrow

I stayed in the room and ignored everyone. I was just waiting till the next day when I could leave. Her mother came in and asked me something but I didn't acknowledge her. She left and I could tell that she knew that I knew. The celebration continued well into the night and my wife never came to look for me. She had gone off with her friends. The rest of the guest started playing hide and seek dressed as monsters. I was still in the room and one of the people who knew I was angry decided to harass me and started following me down hallways in the room. I thought he was playing a dangerous game. The void that I felt was just a cover for the rage just beneath the surface and I knew that if he push me I would respond and it would be uncontrolled. So I kept going, avoiding him. Once he left I went back and laid on the bed. I was not sleeping I was just waiting for tomorrow. My wife came in and said something to me, I ignored her feeling nothing. She tried a few more times but I didn't acknowledge her so finely she went to bed. I just waited for tomorrow.

Don't wake it

She woke some time later and started trying to talk to me again. She tried to act like I was the one who did something wrong. I said nothing. She said that if this was how I was going to be she wanted a divorce. I felt something move beneath the void but I said nothing, not letting it out. She said I would have to pay her father back for the wedding and the party. I felt it writhe deep within me, this time the void pushed out like the surface of a large balloon expanding, stretching, and ready to explode. I said nothing and felt the rage settle down beneath the void like a sleeping dragon I knew should never wake.

Down by the sea

I left the room and walked down to a large fence that ran along the beach. It was like the fences that keep balls from going into the stadiums at baseball games. There were some people around and some of them started coming towards me like they were going to stop me from leaving. The fence was about 13 or 14 feet high but I jumped it without a problem. I walked along the beach to where part of the cliff cut off the beach and stopped me from going any further. I sat down, with my back to the cliff, not really thinking about anything. After some time past a voice came through a loud speaker on the cliff wall telling me I needed to move on. I told them they needed to F!*@ off. They seemed to relent and that’s when I notice an opening in the cliff near the sure. I went through the opening and found myself in a restaurant. The restaurant was sunk halfway below sea level with large windows that sat just above the water’s surface. I looked out the window and within the slow rolling undulations of the sea I saw the fin of a Great White Shark. I was thrilled and move closer to get a better look. There was a lady standing next to me who said something like “it's amazing what you can see.” I grunted an agreement and looked back hoping to see the shark. But instead the head and neck of a creature that looked like an old picture of the Lockness monster lifted out of the water. It was only a few feet away but I couldn't make out its features.

The Drive (Lucid)

I left the restaurant and found myself driving back down the beach on a hard packed sand road. I don't know what triggered it but I knew I was dreaming. I pressed on the accelerator and I could feel the vibration of the motor as I picked up speed. I could also feel the vibrations that came up through the tires as I moved along the road. I felt the tension in the steering wheel as I turned, swerving to pass other cars on the road. I was exhilarated by the handling of the car. The way the tension in the steering wheel felt. It was perfect. I didn't want to hit anyone so I decided, since it was a dream, I wanted to drive in a completely open area so I could go as fast as I wanted. I thought of a large hard packed sand bed and started turning left. I watched as the scene out the front window of the car traveled right and changed into exactly what I was looking for but now I was no longer in the car. I was standing in the middle of this vast white sandy desert. I looked at my hands to stabilize the dream even though I didn't feel I needed to. My hands became clearer and vivid. I could feel the sun warming them and my gold wedding ring was reflecting brightly in the sun. I rubbed my hands together feeling the soft texture of my skin and the warmth of my hands.

Back to the room

The scene changed and I was back in the room sitting in a chair. I thought I'd woken up. My wife was not there so I decided to try to do a WILD induction.

Back to the desert (Lucid)

I closed my eyes and found myself back in the desert. I bent down picking up some sand to see how clear my vision could be in the dream. I could see each grain of sand. There was even a small clump of sand loosely stuck together. A small piece of the edge crumbled as I looked at it. I could hear the ocean behind me and I became annoyed because I wanted it to be only desert. I tried to think the desert back and for a moment it worked but soon the sound of the ocean returned. That’s when I woke and my alarm was going off. I have it set to wake me with the sounds of the ocean. I turned it off and did some state checks just to make sure I was awake.

I was outside, at work, taking a break. I remember someone telling me to imagine what the people around me were thinking so I started to. I would look at someone and try to figure out what they were thinking. I remember having a lot of fun with this. The scene change and I was at my computer doing the same thing with pictures of people I found online. I was laughing and my wife asked what I was doing. I told her I was making up lines for people and that it was something I liked to do when I got bored. I brought up a picture of a fat guy, to show her, and started rapping for him and She started laughing. I clicked another link and the picture that came up seemed to fit perfectly with what I was doing for the fat guy. My wife and I started laughing uncontrollably and that’s when I woke.

I didn't remember any of my dreams from last night. I haven't even had any flashes. I think the problem is I'm going to bed to late and getting up to early. On the upside there having layoffs at work and if they lay me off I can spend more time dreaming. Eating, not so much but dreaming is free.

Warning: The dream below is disturbing and sad so please don't read it if you feel you're easily upset.

Unnatural Nature
I was watching a documentary, but I was there like a disembodied observer. There were what the narrator called, “rare rhinos” a mother and its baby. They looked like long skinny Elephants and the baby was no bigger than a large house cat. The mother was about the size of a horse, and in fact, its body was like that of a horse. Then as the speaker narrated the events I watch them unfold. There was a cup of water sitting in the middle of the scene. The sun was going down in the back ground and everything was shadowy and red. The sky was red and it was like watching a shadow puppet show but I could still see everything clearly. I was watching from about 15 feet away when the baby rhino ran over to the cup and picked it up with its front legs and was going to take a drink. Then the narrator said “foolishly the infant tries to drink before the mother and so now the mother attacks.” I watched, in horror, as the mother charged the infant and plunged its long tusk into the top of the baby rhinos head. I could see blood spraying out of the wound and I felt my heart sink. The baby rhino was still holding the cup as the mother reared up on her hind legs with the lifeless body of the baby dangling from her tusk. The mother drank the water that came from the cup the baby was holding. She reared back further, tilting her head, the baby, and the cup as if to get every last drop. When she was done she went back down on all fours and almost hatefully slung the lifeless body of the baby rhino to the ground. Like it meant nothing, and all she felt was disgust for it. The narrator said “she was selfishly willing to sacrifice her child to better her own chance of survival.” I woke with a profound sense of sadness that I can still feel as I write this.

After looking back over my dreams, I'm starting to see, I have a lot of depressing dreams. I guess I never really took the time to look at my dreams on a daily bases. It could just be this stressful time in my waking life being reflected in my dreams but almost all of them seem to be dark or have some emotional pain associated with them. Or it could just be that I like nightmares so thats what I remember most. Either way I hope I start having happy dreams soon or I'm going to get depressed reading my own dreams.

I know my dream entry's are long but I try to put as much in them as I can remember. I want to express as much as I can about what I see, how I feel, and the things that are going on around me. I don't know if the emotions are conveyed to others but when I read them I feel the way I did while I was in them. That's important to me especially when I'm lucid in a dream. I believe that one of the most powerful things I have in my dreams is the emotional state that I'm in. I know from experience that when I'm able to hold onto a lucid dream and make it last there's emotion involved. I believe if I can remember and reproduce this emotion I can use it to maintain other lucid dreams. I don't know if others have noticed this but I think it could be one of the keys to unlocking better control and longer lasting lucid dreams. Does anyone know if others are exploring the impact of emotions on lucid dream induction, control, and prolonging of the dream. If you do let me know, I would like to talk to them about what they have found.

I was in the parking lot at work and there was something wrong with my car. There were no other cars around and it was getting dark. B and E at work where trying to help me fix it. E went inside for something and B started putting oil in the motor. He was putting it in near the radiator at what was some kind of ivory colored plastic tank. I was watching him from the driver seat through the gap under the open hood. I was worried he might put to much in because I just got an oil change and he didn't know that. And sure enough thats exactly what he did. He was looking back at the building not looking at what he was doing and the oil started to over flow. He turned back and stopped putting oil in and put the cap on. We switch positions and now B was in the car and I was looking at the motor. E had come back out and was standing to my left. The cap had some kind of pressure valve with a red cover and when he tried to start the motor the cover for the valve popped off. Oil started spraying out of a small hole. I think it was meant to do this to protect the motor. I picked up the cover and put it back on and B tried to start it again. The cover came off again so I picked it up and put it in my pocket. Then B started driving around the parking lot to get rid of some of the oil. Oil was spraying out everywhere.

The next thing I knew I was in the car and it was night. I had parked parallel in the driveway of what seemed to be my house. It was on the road my parents live on but much closer to SP. The oil was still leaking out of the car and was making the ground slippery. A car from across the road had already slid down into the road and my car started to do the same. I started to drive the car so I could avoid the other car in the road. I found it hard to control the car on the slippery ground. I avoided the other car but now I was heading towards a two-lane road. I was going to turn left as this was the way I normally go on SP. There was traffic and it was coming fast but I just sped up because I didn't think I could stop due to the oil. I manage to get out and started driving down the road thinking as I go the oil should ware off the tires and it would be easier to control.

The scene changed again and my car was parked in a garage but I didn't know how I had parked it because there was stuff behind it blocked me in. I was looking for a way out and I looked through a door thinking I could fit my car through it but it opened on another garage that was part of a U-Hall store. Their garage door was walled off. I can't remember what happened next but I was trying to find my way back to the garage. I had to pass through a Bed Bath and Beyond to get to it. As I was walking through the store a blond hair girl was trying to sell me something. I told her no thank you and just kept going.

Once there I was still trying to get out but now it was because I had to go pick up some shelves. I walked between the cars that were in the way and pushed on them at the same time thinking if I could move them just a little I could get by. To my surprise the cars moved and I was able to get through. However, in the process I somehow pushed the two cars together and one was slightly on top of the other. One of them belonged to my father-in-law. He came out and we started looking at the damage. His car was now a red truck. We pulled it off the other car and looked under it to see how bad the damage was. His truck seemed to be made of very thin pressed metal and it was crumpled along the bottom. I told him I was sorry and that I would pay him for the damage but that it could take some time. I asked if we could work out some kind of payment plan but he just looked at me and then I woke up.

Tonight I will try WILD

I was at work and there was a tornado that ripped part of the building away. One of the people I worked with did not believe me so I took him out to show him. There were other people who worked there outside on a railed off walkway. They were ducking down trying to stay safe. I got on the loud speaker and told them they'd be safer if they came inside. That’s all I remember.

The only thing I remember are fragments. A plane that lands in the water to pick up another plane. They both look like something out of an alternative history of the 1920's. Then my boss is telling me I always dress nice, (Creepy!) And the last one is me looking at HDTV's and thinking about which one to buy.

I had a lucid dream last night but it was not as vivid as most of the lucid dreams I've had in the past.
I don't remember the entire dream and I don't know what triggered it. I did not wake after the dream even though I remember losing lucidness.

Looking For A Rock (Lucid)

I was flying and I knew I was dreaming. I stopped and started looking at my hand and rubbing them together. This stabilized the dream and I remembered that I wanted to look under a rock in my next lucid dream. I started looking around but I couldn't find a rock I thought was big enough. There were some small gray ones but I wanted a larger rock. It was like I was inside and I did not think to go outside. The colors in the dream were very dark and fuzzy.

Any dream is better than no dream and any lucid dream is better than no lucid dream.

I was at work and L was talking about putting some money in for the lottery. I asked if I could put some in and she said she didn't think so. She said she would have to find out. Then I was walking down the hall at work with a new guy and he was my apprentice. I told him the first thing he would need to do was to cook up some steaks. He said he was not sure that was OK so I stopped and asked A. A asked him if I told him to do that and the new guy said yes. A told him “Then get to it” and A walked away. The scene changed and I was at a grocery store with K and some other people I know. There was a girl there who found a baby and give it to K to take care of. The baby was crying and K didn't seem to know what to do. I took the basket with the baby in it from K and she went to find some food for the baby. I set the basket and baby on the ground and started talking to her. I was using the voice that most adults seem to resort to when talking to baby's and she was looking at me smiling. She had blue eyes and her legs were facing away from me. I was telling her “Look at me, I'm just like you, I'm bald too.” she was turning her head as if to right her view of me. I turned her around and picked her up and put her in a cup. I held the cup to my chest and started humming to the baby. She fell asleep. I thought it might be hard to get her out of the cup as she was all the way at the bottom. I started tilting the cup and slowly sliding the baby out being careful not to wake her. She came out into my left hand but now she was a Cinnamon roll. I thought she was just upside down and started to roll her over when K came back. She started grabbing my left arm and I was afraid I was going to drop the “baby-Cinnamon roll,” or wake her up so I started using my other arm to push K away. The “baby-Cinnamon roll” stretched like it was yawning. I don't think K knew I was holding the baby but I was still mad at her for not being more careful. Once I was free I said “what the hell is wrong with you” and then I woke.

I was with my brother and a dream friend of mine. My friend had his baby with him and he needed to be changed so my friend left it with my brother and I and went to get some diapers. I don't know where we were going but we got on a moving platform that looked like an old draw bridge. The platform move horizontally across the water at a very slow speed. It was open to the sky but it had metal seats and guard rails. As we traveled across the water, on the platform, I sat down and started tickling the baby. The baby had an outty bellybutton and my hand hit it. It was like the baby just realized it was there. He started flailing his arms around trying to grab it and then the bellybutton blew up like a balloon. It was transparent and I could see something amber in the middle of it. I don't know what it was. It didn't hurt the baby but I looked at my brother and ask “is that normal?” and “what do you do when something like that happens?” My brother didn't say anything and when I looked back the bellybutton was back to normal and the baby was asleep.

Electricity

I looked out to the right and there was a power transfer station out in the middle of the water. I could see the electricity flowing on the power lines. It was like it was flowing on the outside instead of on the inside. The smaller lines had white jagged lines of electricity flowing over them but the larger lines, with more current, glowed neon blue. I told my brother it looked like someone was drawing two much electricity and the lines were getting over loaded. I left the baby with my brother and walked toward the end of the platform in the direction we were moving. I could see the ocean on the other side of the island we were moving towards. There was a railed gate at the end of the platform and I stopped about 5 feet away from it. I looked at the power lines on the platform and they had electricity flowing over them and some of the circuit started to pop. I could vaguely smell the ozone of burning electronics and the circuits were putting off a little smoke. I was not afraid of the electricity; in fact, I thought it was being drawn to me. I tried to mentally draw it in and the power in the line grew.

The Ride Continues

We reached the other side and I told my brother to bring the baby before we started to move again. He just sat there and then we started moving the other way. I sat down and said “I guess we’re not going to the island because I'm not riding on this thing again.” I just didn't want to sit on the slow moving platform any more. I lay down on the ground and the platform seemed to tilt a little. The baby started to slide across the floor so I put out my hand to stop it. The baby's head, which now looked like an oil filter, pushed against my hand and the baby stopped sliding.

This looks familiar

The scene changed and we were on the street and down the road there was a hotel and one of its rooms exploded. I think I remember the hotel from another dream a long time ago. It was like I dreamt the explosion before from the perception of being in the hotel at the time. I told my brother to stay with the baby, who looked normal again, and that it was safe here. I started to walk down the street heading for the hotel and that’s when I woke.