let's discuss language censorship!

I don't get why you would want to needlessly offend people you care about for the sake of free speech. I see a lot of self-rigtheous young people, mostly on MTV, promoting their knack for "speaking their mind" like it's an admirable trait. To most of them, speaking their mind means saying something completely inappropriate and rude in a situation where their harsh words were completely unwarranted. There is a time and a place for everything. Sometimes it is important to stand up for your beliefs or say something that needs to be said, but other times you just need to keep your mouth shut. It takes a mature person to know when to do which. It's wrong to accuse a person with good manners of being weak, any child can "speak their mind."

there is a difference between mannerly and sugar, and between speaking your mind and being rude/inappropriate. I understand that. what I don't understand is the need to constantly speak to everyone as if you are wrong. what is wrong with flatly (robotically, even) stating your thoughts without any hint of anger or other negative emotions? that, I don't understand.

please, if you will (anyone), write out what you think would have been a more appropriate reply. as I have no regret, you cannot include any apology. I'd like to get a better idea of what I did wrong.

Well, assuming that she supports language censorship was the first thing that you did wrong. Because frankly, it was presumptious unless you have heard her opinion on the matter beforehand. Secondly, whether she supports it or not is fairly irrelevant. Censoring your language would have been facebook telling you to use more appropriate words OR if your aunt had threatened you with something bad if you continued to use profanity. I don't see much difference between her trying to stifle your usage of profanity and you trying to stifle her vocalization of conservative ideals, quite honestly.

ive sort of missed the arguement but have you baically been swearing a lot. even if you have i think what spockman has just said is worse that communism makes your kids gay, what a pathetic thing to say

hi spockman i think your confusing socialism with cummunism, which cant make you gay either. and theres nothing wrong with being gay if thats who you are. if we had a global socialist government there would be a global minimum wage and first world jobs wouldnt be taken by exploited third world workers

http://www.schoolofsarcasm.com/

am I missing something? how is deeming certain words "offensive" and asking someone not to use them NOT supporting language censorship? how was my conclusion anything but reasonable?

leo: you clearly have nothing to contribute to this thread, and you're taking it off topic. I'd much apprectiate if you'd either make a reply after reading the content first, or refrain from posting in it.

Well, silly though it may be, some people still DO take offense at swearing. I guess one comparison you could make is wanting to not have to view shock porn when you visit your friends' pages on Facebook. Barring freedom of speech? Eh. It's more or less a polite request so that you don't have to run and get eye bleach whenever you want to view their status. That person may still go and put up shock porn on other pages and other websites...it really isn't a hindrance of free speech so much as adhering to a set of social norms to be nice to others. Your aunt's and your own are clearly in contrast, but is it so hard to cut back on the swearing, bearing in mind that it makes your aunt uncomfortable? It'd be a small pain I for one would be willing to undergo to make another person close to me happy.

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Originally Posted by Mario92

Well, silly though it may be, some people still DO take offense at swearing. I guess one comparison you could make is wanting to not have to view shock porn when you visit your friends' pages on Facebook. Barring freedom of speech? Eh. It's more or less a polite request so that you don't have to run and get eye bleach whenever you want to view their status. That person may still go and put up shock porn on other pages and other websites...it really isn't a hindrance of free speech so much as adhering to a set of social norms to be nice to others. Your aunt's and your own are clearly in contrast, but is it so hard to cut back on the swearing, bearing in mind that it makes your aunt uncomfortable? It'd be a small pain I for one would be willing to undergo to make another person close to me happy.

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Agree completely, Mario.

I mean, if I ask my roomate not to put a photoshopped poster of a nude Lady Gaga on our wall, he shouldn't assume that I support banning pornography. It just doesn't follow.

Can you see how you're aunt asking you not to swear on facebook- and you asking her not to ask you not to swear, (whew,) isn't entirely different?

You've asked what you should have said in other's opinions. I think, if you really didn't want to cut back on swearing or apologize, you could simply have said that swearing is just how you talk sometimes and you hope it doesn't offend her. You would have been honest and blunt, (as per your morals,) but you've avoided blowing it out of proportion into a moral issue.

She basically expressed her opinion, on how she felt about cursing and politely asked you to stop. Your response was pretty much the equivalent of, "I don't care what you think, I am going to do what I want." Which is rude.

Here is what I would have replied.

it was not my intention to hurt anyone with my language, and it saddens me that anyone would construe such negativity in a mere word. anyway, I mean no disrespect, really. :)

Which is exactly what you put, minus talk about censorship, defriending you and stuff. Like I said, your reply wasn't horrible, it was just stronger than you probably meant it to be. By removing the first section of it, you come across totally different. Instead of hostile and defensive, its a polite reply.

If you wanted to add a little more, could be something like.

I don't think using the word is a big deal, and I hope you are willing to accept that some times I may use words like that, but that is simply because of who I am. However it was not my intention to hurt anyone with my language, and it saddens me that anyone would construe such negativity in a mere word. anyway, I mean no disrespect, really. :)

Also I would use proper grammar and punctuation. Just to show you took the extra time. Any way, just removing that one part helps a lot. That first part really makes the entire thing sound more hostile.

language censorship is a ridiculous, self-defeating cause and that is something I feel very strongly about. I respectfully refuse to compromise my beliefs to accommodate you. of course, I use discretion; but seeing as this is a public forum and you have the option to either de-friend me or take me off of your news feed (the latter, I hope), I see no reason to censor myself.

I guess the problem is that I tend to be too thorough and over-explain myself. I always try to cover everything and be very clear, and I probably do go a little overboard sometimes. maybe it can be interpreted as rude. I can see "robotic" as coming off cold. of course. but anyone who knows me (or cares to know me) would understand this "quirk" and over-look it. anyone else, like Dr. Seuss said, doesn't matter.

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I mean, if I ask my roomate not to put a photoshopped poster of a nude Lady Gaga on our wall, he shouldn't assume that I support banning pornography. It just doesn't follow.

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on this wall, do you have the option to block images?

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Originally Posted by nerve

language censorship is a ridiculous, self-defeating cause and that is something I feel very strongly about. I respectfully refuse to compromise my beliefs to accommodate you. of course, I use discretion; but seeing as this is a public forum and you have the option to either de-friend me or take me off of your news feed (the latter, I hope), I see no reason to censor myself.

I guess the problem is that I tend to be too thorough and over-explain myself. I always try to cover everything and be very clear, and I probably do go a little overboard sometimes. maybe it can be interpreted as rude. I can see "robotic" as coming off cold. of course. but anyone who knows me (or cares to know me) would understand this "quirk" and over-look it. anyone else, like Dr. Seuss said, doesn't matter.


on this wall, do you have the option to block images?

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I'm not using it as a perfect analogy. It only applies to the whole whether or not asking you to swear means she supports censorship. I mean, I prefer going without hearing harsh language. But I don't support censorship.

you can't have free language and eat it too.

also you obviously don't understand how faulty your analogy is. my aunt has the option to take me off her news feed. she doesn't have to see any language - at all. it is my facebook, I can say what I want on it, no one has to view it. if we were at a family dinner and I was cursing like a sailor, that would be different. if she asked me to stop swearing - at a family dinner - I would understand. because in that situation, her only choice would be to sit there and listen to it, or leave. if she left, she would not get to enjoy the company of the other family members. that is wrong. swearing on a website page of my own is different. she has the option to block the language, without losing all her friends. do you see what I'm getting at? if your roommate posted images on facebook you didn't agree with, you could just block them - and without defriending him (or her). if they put up a disagreeable poster in a shared room, it's unavoidable.

Granted, she could ignore you, but perhaps she actually cares about you and enjoys checking up on you. And if this is the case, is it really worth putting up such a fuss? It is YOUR page, but your aunt likes to view it and keep in touch. Is that so bad? She just wants to be able to see what her nephew has been up to without being bombarded with what some of us would equate to shock porn.

I doubt she cares. even if she does, I never update with anything substantial, AND she could take me off her feed without defriending me. that way if she did care to check on me she could, I'm still right there in her list. I honestly don't even know why she added me in the first place. she's a super religious Jesus freak, and I don't care what she thinks of me, really. I care about her, just not about her ridiculous beliefs and opinions.

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Originally Posted by nerve

you can't have free language and eat it too.

also you obviously don't understand how faulty your analogy is. my aunt has the option to take me off her news feed. she doesn't have to see any language - at all. it is my facebook, I can say what I want on it, no one has to view it. if we were at a family dinner and I was cursing like a sailor, that would be different. if she asked me to stop swearing - at a family dinner - I would understand. because in that situation, her only choice would be to sit there and listen to it, or leave. if she left, she would not get to enjoy the company of the other family members. that is wrong. swearing on a website page of my own is different. she has the option to block the language, without losing all her friends. do you see what I'm getting at? if your roommate posted images on facebook you didn't agree with, you could just block them - and without defriending him (or her). if they put up a disagreeable poster in a shared room, it's unavoidable.

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Yes, but I don't understand how that implies she supports censorship- which would be a forceful censoring of language. I don't get that at all from what she said.

I don't know, indeed majority of our swearwords come from diseases
but then again, I could see the same about english and sexual words
and why the word shit? that's just the same, only we use diseases(a friend of me recentlty started to use syphilis, and in mky friendgroup we use aids a lot too)

btw, I think the dutch word for swearword explains a lot better what it is: 'krachtterm'(powerword, because you give extra power to a sentence or something you say)(altough the verb for saying sewarwords is vloeken, wich means to curse)


@nerve: I get the idea you're a bit like me:p
I also don't see the point of saying sorry if you're not, but I recently discovered saying sorry does get you away with much, because for some odd eason people atach value to it even if they know you don't mean it and only sai it to get away with it, so now I use that to y advantage

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Originally Posted by djonkoman

I don't know, indeed majority of our swearwords come from diseases
but then again, I could see the same about english and sexual words
and why the word shit? that's just the same, only we use diseases(a friend of me recentlty started to use syphilis, and in mky friendgroup we use aids a lot too)

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Hahah, I guess English is kind of silly, eh? "Shit," I think, has run its course as a swear word and is just another word now. Calling someone a bastard, though, is still kind of fun. ^_^ My grandfather used to wish poxes upon people (a pox on you!), which I guess is kind of similar. In truth, I'd like to see people doing more pox-wishing and less bird-flipping. It can be fun to tell a person to go fuck themselves, but it doesn't quite carry the same weight as wishing a slow and painful death upon them. :D