Grief and LDs

A little over a week ago I found my first cousin Allen dead of a heart attack. This has been especially difficult for me because we were the absolute closest people in each other's lives. My daily life and thoughts have drastically been altered by his passing. Since the day that I found him dead I have had absolutely no control in dreamtime. The irony of this is the fact that up to this point (as expressed in my postings) I have sought to NOT control my dreams. Now, when I really want to spend time with his dream image I have no control. I can still recall my dreams and I am still able to control my dream environment, but I can not consciously realize during the dream that I am indeed dreaming. Has any other advanced (or not) LDer here had a similair experience?

I am so sorry for your loss :(

I've not experienced anything like you speak of, however, I can fully understand your subconcious mind wanting to take over for a little while. I know you want to spend a little time with a dream image of your cousin, but I would suggest you let your subconsious lead for a little while. I suspect it is trying to come to terms with Allen's death as well.

This has happened to me b4 (my b.friend)....well, I did not lose Lucidity, however, my dream control....I couldn't do it....when I am stressed, or really upset about something like this, I often find myself in a tough LD situation, or I SD (did that many times after losing my boyfriend)......the only thing I can control here is the ability to wake myself up in a pinch!

I haven't lost anyone recently, but I did just came out of a month-long depression, during which I couldn't even recall dreams, never mind control them. It will come back, just give it time.

It has been over a month now. My mind still has not reliquished complete control as of yet. I still have complete power of the manipulation of the dream environment, but I have no control over the path of the dream. The other night I created a monster black tornado that freaked me because I wasn't sure about the ability to control it's movement so I quickly thought it away. I am still grieveing deeply and I must admit that the randomness of the dreams is very soothing.

The grieving process can take a while to complete. I suggest finding a good book or perhaps a grief counselor also the internet. If you cannot move on you run the risk of staying in the process and for some people that can mean years. I speak from experience. I work in a field where grieving is sometimes a complication of life events.

Dear Aneas,

You know, since your cousin's passing, he would be more than a dream 'image'. I suppose you are being prevented from interferring with the processes involved by his immediate passing. He needs to establish and consolidate within his new condition. Your attempting to manipulate him, as though he were only a personal subjective image, may have distorted the process somewhat.

But, since you were so close, I have no doubt but that he will contact you, when all of the dust settles.

It took awhile, after their passing, but now both my mother and my father visit in my dreams. Even the occassional deceased kitty drops by once in awhile.

You don't have to force these things. They know you are thinking of them. And doesn't it mean more when they visit you?

After nearly 2 months I have regained my ability to LD at will. It returned last night (I watched Vanilla Sky for the first time last night as well). The dreams I have had in the last two months were a journey. I am going to begin a journal in the forum about the key dreams.

Congratulations! :)