Hypnotise yourself to lucid dreams...
I think that the fastest easiest (for you) way to learn lucid dreaming is by hypnosis. (I know hypnosis was in another thread but I forget which one) They can just tell you to relize your dreaming that night and that you will have lucid dreams every night (and they can add in lose 10 pounds just for kicks) and that you will have full control. The only problem with this is it might cost 200$ or more. I'm not sure exactly how much it would cost.
I wish someone in my family was a hypnotist.....
Any thoughts?