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Going Insane in LD's
I will summarize this dream for you. It is rather long, but I think I can illustrate it so that you can get the jist.
Dream Recall - 26.02.09
+ Setting: Worn down sub-district of a city, friend and I looking for a job.
+ We find that the town is run down with rat population and another person hints that there is more happening
+ Friend becomes struck in fear as large (about the size of a mattress) spiders emerge from crevasses of the area.
- Spiders have all legs facing forward and are able to roll into a ball. The web-netting they make is odd and somehow several spiders work together to make large nets.
+ Large moths are somehow working with the spiders as they pick them up and throw them and plant eggs that explode upon physical contact - they act like mines.
Insanity:
+ I become lucid but not entirely.. I know that I am dreaming as usual, but lose my sense of control over myself and begin to telekinetically destroy everything.
+ I only leave my friend intact
+ I begin to create people and cities just to simply destroy them
+ I know I have an rather insane face on at all times
+ I remember destroying a lot of windows and tearing off peoples limbs.
Now I know of the repressed anger idea and believe me, I would not normally come here to describe it if I felt it that simple. I really feel there's more to it than that. I would like a second opinion.
I suspect that it may be that I hate the friend of mines issues in their life and that I want to obliterate them.. but I have to lose my mind over it..? Furthermore, it is one of my greatest fears to lose my mind in lucid dreaming because of past incidents with it.
Also, have you ever "lost yourself" in a LD?
What do you think...?
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I just lost myself today in lucids... all I did was go and stay in internet, that is so, weird?
Today is a bad day for lucids I say <.< (Only answer I could come up with)
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This happens a lot in my normal dreams. Ill just be doing something, then the house alarm will go off and ill scream and shout and kick anything that gets in my way. I want to have a lucid where I go crazy, because ill be able to kamehameha and blow shat up ;)
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What kind of feelings do you have during these lapses of control..?
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This has happened to me very few times. It's not a common thing so I don't usually worry about it.
But when it does occur, I feel helpless. Like I know it would be better to take a different path, but I know that I'll end up taking the wrong one, and though it's probably not the best thing to do, I just give in and accept it.
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Sometimes within lucidity, I get very frustrated/restless.
Like I've had enough, and furthermore, enough of having enough.
Tearing myself apart, crying, breaking down, destroying everything and everyone, is what often happens -- suicidal and destructive themes. I usually enter a deep void in the end or wake myself up deliberately when like that.
I find it impacts waking life and my attitude very much when it does happen.
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Wow that's really interesting. I have never lost control of myself in a dream before. Destroying cities is probably an indication that you're pissed about something ;)