Reality Checks:
- Looking at my hands
- Trying to breathe with nose held closed
- Trying to remember what I did 10 min. ago
Dream Signs:
- Being at the place, I spent my youth at (Bavaria, Tegernsee)
- School and meeting schoolmates/ex-boyfriends
- University
- my old job
- Trying and failing to achieve the simplest things - like not getting somewhere, or not getting somewhere in time - packing things up and something staying behind - trying to talk to somebody, whom I see in the dream, and not managing for some reason
- my (dead) grandmother
- lots more actually..
Short-Term Goals:
- well - gaining lucidity after not managing for over a year
- keeping a dream-journal and not only trying to remember dreams for the day after - putting them down - reviewing them
- working on real-life awareness and prospective memory
- keeping the desire alive
Long-Term Goals:
- gaining control, so I can create the scenario I want to dream in, while dreaming
- gaining control, so I can accomplish tasks, I set up before I go to sleep - taking part in the challenges and getting these nice wings..;)
- finding inspiration and maybe answers/insights into my psyche and maybe being able to resolve difficulties in real life
- working on my dart-throwing technique - it is possible to do something there with visualization and banishing mind-chatter (sounds a bit weird - I know..)
Lucid/Dream Recall History:
- first time around I gained lucidity in my early 20s after following Castaneda with telling myself it will happen for 2 weeks every night before falling asleep - and when it did work - stabilizing the dream with looking at my hands, till I saw every little detail crystal clear.
Maybe because of the expectation, that I had entered a real other plane of existence - where I could also come to real harm - getting into a panic and turning the dream into a nightmare - walls of a cave which I was exploring for fun with friends suddenly turning to sand and coming down on me.
With all the willpower I could muster, I transferred my consciousness back into my body - just to find, I am unable to move or scream - leading to a very real fear of dying.
That kept me off trying again for years.
- second time - after reading up on LD and getting rid of my superstitions - incl. turning agnostic - a wonderful, quite long LD - so lovely hyper-real visual dreamscape - I could fly and go where ever I wanted (well - I just wanted to go to this place of my youth - but anyway..) - met people, I wanted to meet - it was pure joy.
- one semi-lucid experience - the same crystal-clear and beautiful imagery and short glimpses of the realization that it was a dream, but no real lucidity with control
- one instance, where I got lucid, but it faded around me - tried spinning - but really wildly spinning - I read now it is not meant to be done like that - bam - dream gone - only emptiness - and I woke up
Current Technique:
- DILD