A Hello ... or something like that
Hi,
I'm Hesse (actually it was the first name that worked besides my usual user names ... and there a many :roll:).
Though I'm reading in this forum for quite a while I didn't register till today. I read some of the other introduction threads and consider mine to be a bit too long. So light a smoke if your an addict (it's dreadful, isn't it?) like myself or grab a snack if you need some sugar.
The subject of LD isn't new to me. In fact I actually don't even remember when I started to get familiar with it. If you really want me to make a guess ... uhm, well, it may have started about 6 years ago. Probably I read anything about dreaming on any site. As most of you'll know you can easily get involved in things while researching in the Internet. Ever was I fascinated by the sheer idea of those Dreams. A whole world - endless worlds - submitted to my will and depending on my very will? Yes, Sir - where do I have to sign for?
But I was quite young an my attempts were amateurish (from todays point of view my desires and goal weren't even better; surely I mainly thought of violence and sex - but, hey, I was young, misunderstood and still haven't had a girlfriend). I can't even remember that I'd have started a DJ nor read a related book. No, I just lay there and tried to WILD every night. It has never shown any result but not at any time I got very frustrated. After some weeks I stopped and then forgot about it.
Over the years I often remembered and started unmotivated attempts to LD. I tried various techniques and set different goals for my 'project'. The result, as you can guess (though I never experienced some kind of natural LD), was always the same. Nothing. Nothing but loosing some hours of sleep. Despite my failures and despite all pointless crap I've done I never lost the believe that LD's are possible and more important: that they are possible for me. In order to guard misunderstandings: I've never lost interest, I just postponed it. That's another one of my bad habits besides smoking. But both got less and less so that I that there is some hope for this one. Surely you already spotted my third one: I'm using too much words while telling little. There'll also be a fourth in the following paragraph.
About 3 or 4 month ago I got again in all that dream related stuff. Also in mediation and autogenic training and some spiritual topics. Fortunately I'm quite a while no longer the boy I mentioned above. That's how I found DV.com. I've started a DJ, made RC's and read everything I could find about Dreaming, OBE's, Meditation and so on. I did RC's all day long, questioned my reality, wrote up to 3h in mit DJ and searched for hints that would help me to reveal that I'm in fact just dreaming. I also slept way too much. That's also the fourth one. Once I'm doing a thing I get quickly at the point where I'm overdoing it.
At the beginning I got some results. I remembered 3 to 5 dreams per night, most of them pretty detailed. I got lucid a few times but was never able to stabilize a dream nor avoiding to get lost within it's smeary, back-stabbing plots again. So I reduced my efforts. The consequence was that I nearly lost my entire dream recall. Wow, that one was really frustrating. But I didn't quit and currently I'm trying to regain it (at the moment I remember 1 or 2 dreams per night, but not every night).
Well, that's my story up to this point. It's quite a lot of text. I'm nearly sorry for that. :cheeky:
I want to find middle between trying to hard and not trying at all. Also I want to be part of this really fascinating community. So I registered finally and now I've also said hello ... or kinda hello.
(Note: I needed four cigarettes to complete this :lol:)
