First time poster, long time lurker.

Hi, my name is Aileen (not my real name obviously!) and I discovered this site a few years ago while trying to learn to lucid dream to manage nightmares from Post Traumatic Stress/Eating Disorders. I'm nineteen years old, a woman and from the worlds most isolated capital city. I like reading, feminist theory, animal rights activism, vegetarianism, 420 culture and human biology/anatomy. I study political journalism at university and I like to drink Earl Grey tea with soy milk.

Enough about me and onto the lucidity.

I have a couple of questions;
1. I was prescribed Valium about a year and a half ago (for aforementioned mental illness) and found that the sweet prince gave me the most lucid, strange and vivid dreams imaginable. It was amazing - I could control LITERALLY everything in my dream world. However, about a month after I was taken off the Valium they started to decrease in intensity, frequency and vividness. Has anyone else had any similar experiences?

2. The technique I'm now using is looking at my hands throughout the day and saying to myself 'Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore' as well as writing that phrase down etc and I've found that briefly in dreaming I'll do this and become aware of the dream and start experiencing lucidity.

HOWEVER this only lasts for a few minutes and ends up with me yelling at my subconscious mind (I've had arguments with "myself" about why I shouldn't be lucid dreaming, but "I" never explain why?) before I either wake up, or go back to having no control in my dreams. Is this something that can be resolved by further practice or is this my brains way of saying maybe that this isn't a good idea for me?

I've never ever had any problems remembering my dreams and I've kept a dream journal since I was old enough to write so I don't think there's any problems there, but I'm more worried that my brain doesn't WANT me to remember something for whatever reason.

Long story short: I used to be able to have AMAZING lucid dreams, then it stopped and now the most I'll be able to control is myself. Has anyone else had this problem? What advice can you offer?

Thanks in advance!

Aileen.
:)

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from the worlds most isolated capital city

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As soon as I read that line I knew you were from Canberra ;)

Cant relate to the valium

I would personally switch from your toto reality test to a more yes or no reality test such as reading a clock, finger through your hands etc, or if you want to use your quote, look at it, say it and note that if it changes when you look back at what you have written you are dreaming.

To find out how to fix your subconscious issue, you are going to have to do a lot of inner work, you will have to identify why you dont want to control your dreams or what part of your life you are afraid you wont remember from the PTSD, and remind your self that you are in control of your lucid dreams and that you can not be hurt, and infact lucid dreaming could help you work on your issues.

I have had hundreds of lucid dreams and then I stopped on purposes for about 2 years, focusing on other things now I am getting back into it, and many times before this I have stopped and come back . It happens, but with work and determination and a reason behind your self picking up lucid dreaming with out the need for drugs is possible, achievable and once you have mastered the basic skills you can pick it back up again any time you like.

Like riding a bile.

Best of Luck

Heh, no I'm from Perth actually.

The thing that weirds me out about the fighting with my subconscious self is that I've been off my medication for over a year now and I'm as close to "over it" as you could get.

Well, when I check my hands, I'm also checking my fore-arms. I have some very distinctive scars that are for, some reason or another, never there in my dreams which is usually the best way to check I've found from the times I have managed to stir myself back into lucid dreaming. But I will be trying clocks and reading texts as well. That seems to be the simplest technique, and the most simple is usually the best way to go ;)

Hahah, I never actually learned to ride a bike! But I can play guitar and paint reeeal good, which I also guess is something you never forget ;)

Thanks heaps :)
If anyone else has any advice/similar experiences and ways of managing with them, I'd love to hear from you :)

in regards to the valium:

im not sure if this applies but there's a concept called state-dependent memory. essentially it means that if you are learning or experiencing something while in a state induced by a chemical substance, you will have much better recall of it while on the substance and subpar recall of it when your not. that is probably why your dreams are becoming less frequent and vivid.

that's not to say that you can't practice practice practice and regain your super powers.

i find it odd that you are gaining lucidity, then losing it to fight with yourself. i was going to suggest that once you attain your lucidity, try to engage yourself with something immediately gratifying and distracting, like flying.

good luck.

I'm glad they took you off the valium. I'm a huge pothead, but even I find valuim people are so spaced out.

I don't claim to understand what valium does, but from what I understand of dreaming and how it applies to reality, I would say it prevents you from focusing on things too much so that they grow out of control and become a problem (What happens in tooth dreams, or anything that bothers you in reality).

Approaching mental problems from a dreaming aspect, I think every mental problem is a result focusing too much on one thing. That's what causes dreams to get out of control, and the source of every single nightmare.

That you can only control yourself is a totally valid observation. But expand upon that, and pay attention to how thing react to that control over yourself. You're not controlling something beyond yourself, it's all you.

Watch for how your emotions influence dreams, and how focusing your attention of certain things affects your dream wold.

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Originally Posted by The Cusp

I'm glad they took you off the valium. I'm a huge pothead, but even I find valuim people are so spaced out.

I don't claim to understand what valium does, but from what I understand of dreaming and how it applies to reality, I would say it prevents you from focusing on things too much so that they grow out of control and become a problem (What happens in tooth dreams, or anything that bothers you in reality).

Approaching mental problems from a dreaming aspect, I think every mental problem is a result focusing too much on one thing. That's what causes dreams to get out of control, and the source of every single nightmare.

That you can only control yourself is a totally valid observation. But expand upon that, and pay attention to how thing react to that control over yourself. You're not controlling something beyond yourself, it's all you.

Watch for how your emotions influence dreams, and how focusing your attention of certain things affects your dream wold.

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Yeah I'm particularly glad they took me off the valium as well. I'm just glad to be off medication in general. I hate that shit - it makes you feel like a zombie and makes my neck all stiff and my mouth all dry :(

Thanks, I've found this the most helpful yet.