Hi, my name is Aileen (not my real name obviously!) and I discovered this site a few years ago while trying to learn to lucid dream to manage nightmares from Post Traumatic Stress/Eating Disorders. I'm nineteen years old, a woman and from the worlds most isolated capital city. I like reading, feminist theory, animal rights activism, vegetarianism, 420 culture and human biology/anatomy. I study political journalism at university and I like to drink Earl Grey tea with soy milk.
Enough about me and onto the lucidity.
I have a couple of questions;
1. I was prescribed Valium about a year and a half ago (for aforementioned mental illness) and found that the sweet prince gave me the most lucid, strange and vivid dreams imaginable. It was amazing - I could control LITERALLY everything in my dream world. However, about a month after I was taken off the Valium they started to decrease in intensity, frequency and vividness. Has anyone else had any similar experiences?
2. The technique I'm now using is looking at my hands throughout the day and saying to myself 'Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore' as well as writing that phrase down etc and I've found that briefly in dreaming I'll do this and become aware of the dream and start experiencing lucidity.
HOWEVER this only lasts for a few minutes and ends up with me yelling at my subconscious mind (I've had arguments with "myself" about why I shouldn't be lucid dreaming, but "I" never explain why?) before I either wake up, or go back to having no control in my dreams. Is this something that can be resolved by further practice or is this my brains way of saying maybe that this isn't a good idea for me?
I've never ever had any problems remembering my dreams and I've kept a dream journal since I was old enough to write so I don't think there's any problems there, but I'm more worried that my brain doesn't WANT me to remember something for whatever reason.
Long story short: I used to be able to have AMAZING lucid dreams, then it stopped and now the most I'll be able to control is myself. Has anyone else had this problem? What advice can you offer?
Thanks in advance!
Aileen.
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