abusive boyfriend dreams?

i had a dream that i was at my boyfriend's house - but this was no boy i had ever met, nor seen before. i got a vibe from him that reminded me of my first boyfriend, and despite feeling that he might hit me and hurt me if i said the wrong thing, i stayed in his house. his sister came for a visit, but she suspected nothing, though i longed to tell her about him. we went for a drive in his car, me in the back seat, his sister in the passenger seat. he introduced me as his soulmate. i thought it was sweet but i longed to run away...

and then i had another dream. i was in the middle of town, running, no jacket on, in the freezing cold - covered in bruises ans scratches, inflicted by him. my mind was in tatters. a hand grabbed my shoulder, hard enough to badly bruise me, but i ran even faster. when i looked back, no one was there - but the bruise was. when i reached the store at the bottom of the hill, my cousin and my parents both saw me. i couldn't trust them then, i simply told them i fell down, that i was okay. (i can tell my cousin ANYTHING, and i would tell my dad of any injuries because he's a paramedic..)

ive been frightened all day, because my dreams tend to lean towards showing me the future, or a message of the future.

i think im going to end up in a bad relationship, end up attacked or beaten down, or im going to see my first boyfriend again, and HATE IT.. but he's one of my best friends.

im very confused, and afraid.

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Originally Posted by lazerbob

ive been frightened all day, because my dreams tend to lean towards showing me the future, or a message of the future.

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I think your mind is just telling you to be careful, and make the right decisions by noticing the signs early before the relationship goes too far and you don't have as easy of an escape plan.

If you know the future, how can you be scared of the future?

I wouldn't be scared about it, just be aware, and thank your mind for giving you a heads up notice!

your advice is sound, and i guess that if i do see a guy like him around town, i know to avoid him. still, if i did see him it would put the fear of God in me.

thanks for this reply, i never thought of it that way.

We're kind of straying off-topic (Dream-wise), but if you have had an abusive boyfriend in the past, that's understandable. Fear of the unknown is also very scary to everyone.

I would definitely suggest taking some self-defense classes, this could help eliminate the fear before it can even set in. Being fearful like this will handi-cap your relationships and your ability to interact with others, and probably just loom as a stress factor throughout your life. So learning to defend yourself would be the best!!!

ive never been abused.
just heartbroken.
i can imagine me learning, like karate or something.. im actually laughing now. ^_^ maybe thats not appropriate considering what we're talking about.

but still. thanks again for replying.

You'll get there!

I've been heartbroken too, it sucks. I don't know how old you are, I'm about to turn 27 in february. But over the years, i've noticed that the more I dwell on past relationships, the more I set myself up for failure.

Just use your dreams to create the perfect boyfriend, then you'll know what you're looking for! :)

-Daniel

Dreams don't always reveal the future, so don't worry about it. And if you think about it all the time, you're bound to atract it into your life.

When things ended between my first ex and I, he would appear frequently in dreams and he would be very aggressive and abusive. However, he was never like that towards me or anyone in real life.

Is there also the possibility that something in your past (when you were heartbroken) has impacted you more negatively than you thought?

With me, I think I dreamed about my ex in that way, with him being abusive, because I was very hurt by him emotionally and those dreams also occured in the anger phase of me getting over him.

Hi lazer, welcome to Dreamviews! :D

I mostly want to emphasize this point:

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Originally Posted by reveur

Dreams don't always reveal the future, so don't worry about it. And if you think about it all the time, you're bound to atract it into your life.

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This is also what's known as a self-fulfilling prophecy. That is, if you're too worried that something bad will happen (i.e. "I'm gonna fail this test!") that you unconsciously sabotage yourself in order to make it come true. So basically, when it comes to these scary dreams, just remember that they are not necessarily anything related to the future or even related to anything in the past or present. Sometimes a dream like yours can mean something that doesn't have to do with a relationship at all--it can represent something else in your life entirely.

Dreams are usually scary or upsetting because they want your attention. If it was a pleasant, boring dream, you wouldn't have remembered it or felt compelled to find out its meaning. But because it left a big emotional impact on you, you felt that it was important. In other words, it may have an important meaning, but it's a good idea to keep an open mind about what that meaning is. Sometimes that can mean setting aside the dream for days or weeks and giving yourself a little distance/perspective.

Having said all that, there would be no harm in taking the chance to learn about abusive relationships, early warning signs and how to avoid abusive men. It might help you feel more prepared for another relationship. And IMHO, is information that every woman should know to regardless of who she is. ;)

"LDs since joining: 902 (DILDs 758, WILDs 144)"

Naiya - You've had 902 LD's in less than 2 years?!?!?! Whaaaaaaaaaaaa? :eek:

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Originally Posted by activedreamer

"LDs since joining: 902 (DILDs 758, WILDs 144)"

Naiya - You've had 902 LD's in less than 2 years?!?!?! Whaaaaaaaaaaaa? :eek:

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Yeah, I average about 2-3 a night. Believe it or not, I'm not a natural lucid dreamer. I got this way through a lot of patience and practice. Anyone can do it if they stick with it! :D

If you're interested, here's my tutorial: http://www.dreamviews.com/community/...ad.php?t=61802

Naiya - Wow that's amazing. When you have 2-3 LD's a night, do you feel like you have had a full night's rest?

Usually I do, yeah. As long as I get that solid 4 hours of dead sleep, I can have as many lucids as I want and still feel rested when I wake up. :)

That blows me away! Here I am with 0 LD's :/

Oh well, I'll keep at it and eventually I'll have my time!

Don't worry, you'll get there. As long as you stick with it, eventually you will break through that point and be able to have them at will. It just takes a lot of patience and practice. ;)

Wow, lazerbob, that sounds pretty scary.

I'm not sure whether or not it could be a prophecy of imminent events but, I suppose it's possible.

Are you in a relationship now? If so, how does your boyfriend treat you? Are you satisfied with everything so far? If not, maybe your complaints are manifesting themselves in scenarios inside your dreams?

Just because you got physically attacked by an unknown force in a dream doesn't mean that it symbolizes actually being attacked. Think about the circumstances - You don't know what hit you or why, and you didn't recognize the guy that called you his "soul mate"


Ah, I dunno. I hope you figure things out, though :)