Originally Posted by
Anju
So, I went to a counsellor as suggested by Jacq (paradoxowl). It is a real hospital and not the kind of cosy office i had expected. She made me sign some papers that I won't attempt suicide or self-harm and asked me to fill several questionnaires on my background and past, including topics like alcohol/drug addiction, abuse etc.
Now i'm beginning to think I shouldn't have gone, as the counselling is making me quite uneasy. I'm not sure if this is how the treatment is supposed to go, but she asks the most uncomfortable questions and I end up crying. The conversation seems to be deviating away from the issues at hand and I'm guessing she's connecting everything to the fact that I was sexually abused in childhood. That's something I have left in the past, it is not bothering me at present. She still insists on bringing up things I've almost forgotten, which I don't want to be reminded of now. And I feel worse after each session, so I go home and cry some more. But I'm continuing my sessions because I'm not sure what else to do.
Next week, she wants me to take a depression test. She says she may have to refer me to a psychiatrist. I know that I'm different and have my own quirks, but I don't want a psychiatrist. I think that all I needed was a little vacation in a quiet place and I could have handled this shit on my own. Now the counsellor is blowing things out of proportion and trying to make me believe that I'm mentally ill. Or maybe I really am ill but refusing to accept it. I don't know what to do.