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I'm still going. I'm merrily on my way, whee he hee. I notice now I can actually talk to women (in passing, just an "excuse me" or "are you using this chair?" in a bookstore) without feeling like a total horrible hellhead. Whee. THIS GIVES ME NO REASON TO STOP WHICH WOULD BE HORRIBLE. BAM.
Listening to "Myriad Harbour"; "Someone somewhere asked me 'is there something in particular I can help you with?' All I ever wanted help with was you..."
Still going.
I'm also thinking of deleting turnons I no longer agree with. I'm thinking it's just a matter of saying no every time it may pop up and it'll eventually just rust; turn to dust.
204/205. I passed the 200 days mark.
162! Oh, I give this thread it's 2000th like.
So I completed my 90 day challenge in the end, posted about it a couple pages ago when I was on ~day 59 or so I think. I had already planned to end it after 90 days since I was also abstaining from ejaculation in general and my (now ex) girlfriend wasn't too happy with that. So I ended it as planned after that.
After a few shorter 3-5 day streaks after that, I hopped back on and I'm now 38 days into a new streak. Will hit 2 months on my birthday (August 16th) so looking forward to that. Intend to go at least 90+ days again, perhaps longer.
208-210 now. Those stupid dreams though, at least they could be different.
Forgive me for not reading 72 pages but I'm curious what benefits you guys are finding from doing this?
I think everyone gets some benefits after quitting. I thought about some that I have earned :Quote:
Originally Posted by Eonnn
- Extreme improvement in confidence, general positivity, energy and clarity of mind. ~ Lucid skills improve.
- Fitness. Everyone fills the void that quitting the habit makes with something. I'm closer to my dream body than ever before. Also doing vigorous physical activity nearly everyday results in great sleep. ~ Lucid skills improve
- Emotions are enhanced. Music sounds... incredible.
- Increased social skills and "aura". People smile in your presence and want to spend more time with you. Also you spend much much more time looking at people's eyes during conversations. Your eyes glow.
- Improved memory. ~ Lucid skills improve
- You start to love yourself unconditionally.
- Everyone becomes extremely attractive ( depends which gender you prefer). Your standards for looks lower significantly.
- Your skin gets better.
- P*rn becomes disgusting, even as a thought. At least I can't even imagine watching that stuff anymore. It's just wrong.
Bottom line is that quitting it turns your life around. You become more the person you are and want to be.
I had a thought about how to describe it best and I would say this : You know in anime there's always those background characters with no faces right? Before quitting, you're one of them. Then when you quit the habit, you become one of the main characters.
Or in a movie perspective : The longer you go down the line after quitting, the more the camera is focused on you.
Trust me, it's worth it.
Do you have any tips for killing urges? I've unfortunately fallen off a streak recently.Quote:
Originally Posted by Saizaphod
I think it's all will power. That's it, pure will power. I had my first urges on day 20-30 and all I personally needed was two of the famous " cold showers ". You have an urge, even if it is at 2am = you get yourself under an ice cold shower. Also it is essential you fill the spare time that you now have with some other activity. Start exercising, start reading, meditate, what ever but start doing things. Also you need to do things if you want to get some of the benefits, like the fitness.Quote:
Originally Posted by TheAssassin56
Before you even consider quitting you have to ask yourself : For how long will I quit? For me this was obvious, for good. Never again.
Also make the "last go" the greatest one you've ever had. That's how I did it.
Everyone experiences urges in their own way, but I think knowing how long you plan to go helps to get rid off them. For me in that matter it's an easy one, so I haven't had a single true urge, I know I won't do it. I can't imagine myself doing it, it would be like universe breaking apart: it's impossible. You can't imagine the main characters of the anime doing it either can you? That's because they don't, ever.
Searching the r/NoFap subreddit is the single best source for advice and success stories.
edit: I can send you links to about 25 of the best threads that Iv found there later when I get to my laptop, if you want. With them I'm pretty sure you might just stop all together as well. If anyone else is interested about the threads just let me know, and I'll PM them for you too later.
I frequent that sub myself as it was what made me seriously try to quit this mess. I've had a terrible relapse yesterday but i know that this time i'm just going to give it my best shot. I appreciate the help though.Quote:
Originally Posted by Saizaphod
Interesting! I think I might give it a shot, wish me luck.Quote:
Originally Posted by Saizaphod
(listening to "Atrocity Exhibition" by Joy Division...)Quote:
Originally Posted by Eonnn
I in particular have felt suicidal in the "fallout" post-M though not every time. To not do it is an improvement. What kind of girl would be interested in someone like me if I kept on going like a drug addict? I'd feel like "LOSER LOSER LOSER" if I kept with it and it's not a really new thing to not do it; it's been said for thousands of years "No adultery or fornication" for Christians. I'm also not 100% shy around females anymore even if I'm not approaching any; I feel as if I can trust myself around them better and were I to talk with any it wouldn't be retarded. My self-talk has improved too but is that related?
I will say that by not filling my time up with porn and whatnot I have that time to do something else and the porn and whatnot gets smaller to me the more and more I ignore it; the habit dies like a car rusting in a field. The point is to not revive it or turn it on again but to just let it (the habit) rot. I now have all that time to draw SFW art and draw, I'm also finding my guitar skills may be improving since I'm not half-focusing on "DURR PORN" in the back of my mind while playing.
Oh and three out of seven days, I'm riding my terra trike with my Dad so I do have time away from the computer in that department. Note: even if I see "public restroom graffiti" (someone sprayed it in the bike trail tunnel) that doesn't really count as engaging in it. It's totally different, like seeing someone steal vs being the thief ya know?
Alright. I'm in. Don't know about an year, but 100 days would be fine. And today is the first day.
I can say I've completed just over seven months now. :)
No issue, still going! Even porn has lost appeal*, hopefully this helps me later in life so I don't cause a family collapse. :)
* "lost appeal" = less appealing than it was.
N.J.O.C.: 217-219
N.J.O.C.: 218-219 (I recounted and found the previous estimation incorrect.)Quote:
Originally Posted by 101Volts
I'm also going away from porn (on purpose, not counting if it just pops up on my computer screen from stupid Deviantart redirection ads which I'll click away) to see what happens. When I posted the above quote a few days ago I admit it was like starting the N.J.O.C all over again in a different area; withdrawal feelings showed up. Still, in the N.J.O.C those withdrawal feelings stopped eventually and I know I can make it through without withdrawal lasting here too. Withdrawal feels like ripping part of my being out which is what I want in this area; it's a matter of killing part of who I am so I may not be devastated later in life.
I don't really understand why you guys do this challenge/lifestyle.
To me it sounds like repressing urges for no real good, then feeling terrible about yourself if you can't suppress them. Why try to live like that?
I've seen TED Talks on this matter and read many posts, to me it sounds like a lot of people do it because they are ashamed of masturbation, but why should the solution be not doing it at all?
Quote:
Originally Posted by PKJacker
^ Read the answer I posted earlier for example. That's at least why I choose not to do it, because it gives so much benefits. :)Quote:
I think everyone gets some benefits after quitting. I thought about some that I have earned :
I've already replied why.Quote:
Originally Posted by PKJacker
1: Shame? Yes.
2: Anti-Suicide movement.
3: Refusing to cause myself to lust after sex as an addict.
4: Religion (the word meaning "reconnect".)
5: "M" poisoned my dreams mercilessly. That's not wealthiness; it's trouble. I'm not going to say the word in full here but I ended up being "R'd"' in one of them after one "M". Again, it's trouble.
6: It was poisoning my life in more ways: I was so messed up I was becoming a pedophile in thought. THIS IS NOT THE WAY.
7: It's not that deep sense of control.
-Volts
In addition to the last post I find myself able to approach people who I wouldn't have if I weren't going through with this.
N.J.O.C.: 227-228 out of 365+ - 137 days left
N.P.O.P (no porn on purpose - this excludes if some dumb ad redirects my internet): 13
Five days later...Quote:
Originally Posted by 101Volts
NJOC: 232-233
NPOP: 18. I have to admit I haven't really been trying or thinking of this much in the last few days but I haven't looked any up.
Dreams, however... I'm aiming for them to be not so ridiculous. One of them would have injured or killed me if I'd have gone through with it in the physical world and could have sent me as best being known for existing on a "Dumbest deaths" list.
NJOC: 235-236
NPOP: 20/21
No events lately. If you're wondering about the dream I mentioned in the last post it involved an electrical socket which probably would have been live. You may now post many facepalm images if you so desire.
Annd up to 70 days now, almost back where I was at 90+ days on my previous streak. I think this streak will likely last longer than that one too.Quote:
Originally Posted by Royaltramp
@Eonnn, you asked about the benefits. Here's a list of some (but not all) of the benefits I experience:
...Wait.. Before I list them all, let's understand why the benefits exist, shall we?
There is an immediate dip in energy following orgasm. This is natural, your body releases prolactin, which is designed to counter your heightened testosterone levels, and bring them back down, decreasing arousal, killing your boner, and reducing your drive to go for a round two. There is also a release of beta-endorphin, a natural opiate, and the substance responsible for making orgasms feel so damn good. The trouble with beta-endorphin is like other opiates (think morphine etc) it can cause decreased expression of androgen receptors in the brain. What are androgen receptors? Well, they're where testosterone binds, and in the brain they're responsible for it binding and causing mood related effects, on energy levels, mood, confidence, libido, etc.
Now prolactin levels drop within a few hours, and testosterone levels return to normal. So the greatest period of low energy, merely lasts a few hours after orgasm. This is why often if you masturbate before work or the gym or other such things you'll have lower energy and motivation, but if you do it at night or in the morning, your motivation will be fine by the time you have to do anything productive.
What else happens in the short term? Dopamine release. However this only lasts during the masturbation. As soon as that prolactin and beta-endorphin have been released, dopamine levels have already crashed back down. Heightened dopamine levels during masturbation lower inhibitions, convince us to seek new stimuli (this is part of the drive behind us continually finding new porn, new fetishes, new kinks, new pornstars etc) , and also is correlated with a similar increase in delta-fosB, the habit forming substance that wires in our habits and addictions.
So in the short term, we're first reinforcing our habit of regular masturbation, and then upon orgasm we're sapped of much of our vital energy for the next few hours. That vital energy however recovers pretty fast.. so surely, within a few hours you're fine to go again.. right?... right?
Wrong!
There are long term effects of masturbation too. Remember what I said earlier about decreased expression of androgen receptors caused by beta-endorphin? Well this is a longer term effect. Receptors down-regulate and up-regulate to maintain homeostasis and keep things in order. This process is gradual over many months/years. So over years of masturbation, you have caused down-regulation of your receptors, meaning that even if you have naturally high testosterone and other androgen levels, they have few receptors in the brain to bind to. What does this mean? Well, when they bind to receptors in the brain, they increase our libido, they increase our confidence, they increase our strength, our energy, our motivation, willpower, etc.. So when fewer receptors are available, all of these things decrease.
Now since this has taken many years to happen, we haven't even noticed it. We've thought that perhaps it was just getting older and more mature that caused our libido and confidence and energy to drop, or perhaps we haven't even noticed it yet.
So if I stop jerking off for a day or two, all those things will increase right? Yes, but mostly only because that prolactin is out of our system. It takes much longer for the longer term effects of not jerking off to show themselves. Just as it took weeks/months/years for receptor down-regulation to happen.. the same is going to be true for up-regulation. Thankfully up-regulation will actually occur a little quicker, and so it won't take 5 years to reverse 5 years of damage, etc, but it will still take a long time, and could take many months before you're as high energy as you would have been if you hadn't jerked off in the first place.
But wait Royaltramp, what about sex? You said these things are released on orgasm, so surely sex is just as bad? Kind of. Sex still causes a release of both prolactin and beta-endorphin, and so even too much sex can cause the same problems, but sex has another effect that kind of counters that. For some reason, we relate to sex and masturbation differently. Both of them elevate our testosterone temporarily, but while people who masturbate were found to have ~10-11% or so higher testosterone (which is not nearly enough to counter the massive receptor down-regulation from years of masturbating), those who have regular sex are found to have around 70% higher testosterone. This means if you keep the sex from being excessive, the extra testosterone you'll be getting, will be enough to counter the minor down-regulation. Besides, if you go from regular masturbation and regular sex, to just regular sex, since the overall frequency of orgasm will decrease, you'll still experience receptor up-regulation, just at a slower rate.
End result? You still get the benefits, just a bit slower than if you remained 100% celibate.
So, I said I'd tell you about the benefits I've experienced:
- Clearer thinking
- Increased energy
- Feeling like I'm a kid during the school summer holidays again, when life felt amazing
- Massively increased confidence and decreased anxiety
- Increased strength when working out
- Faster recovery from my workouts
- Wake up in the morning feeling energised rather than groggy
- Related to the above, I also find my sleep more restful
- Better ability to sense social cues, like when a girl is interested in you, or when someone's enjoying listening to you etc. As someone with severe social anxiety this is a KILLER benefit, this is so immensely useful.
- More controlled desire, i.e. less seeing people as sexual objects, or sex as a means to an end, but more seeing sex as a form of creative energy
- Related to creative energy, more productivity, creative ideas, and motivation to work hard etc
A couple that might apply to the people of dreamviews more than other people:
- Longer dreams
- Dramatically increased dream recall, I always remember a few dreams each night after 2+ weeks of no masturbation
- More lucid dreams. I don't even practice any techniques lately and I'm lucid at least every other night, sometimes every night, sometimes even 2-3 times in a night. Having been off and on NoFap several times, I can confirm this is definitely related to not masturbating and not just coincidence. It always occurs after at least 2 weeks of not doing it.
And one that some people simply won't believe, or will think I'm exaggerating:
- Women are significantly more drawn to you. I know, it sounds unrealistic, but there's a simple reason for it, and it's nothing magical or woo or anything like that. It's simple, we are hard-wired to find the best mate for reproduction that is available to us at the time. This is why fertile women tend to be more attracted to more fertile men. Well two things that contribute to a man's fertility: increased androgen receptor activation, increased sperm count. Both of these happen when practising NoFap, and as such, it is likely this is what causes the increased attraction. But how can a woman know these things, you ask? Well consciously they don't, but subconsciously our body language, pheromones, and other factors are all communicating with everyone around us all of the time, it's likely some combination of these is able to relay to others how eligible a mate you are.
I could list a whole bunch more but we'd be here all day ;)
Add another day to each...Quote:
Originally Posted by 101Volts
236-237
21-22
While on the internet a few minutes before posting this a NSFW ad showed up where it shouldn't have. There's why I have the second challenge as "No Porn On Purpose"; for in case it shows up where I'm not really looking for any of it (except if I'm reporting it to the website so it gets taken down but that doesn't count.)