Problems? Solutions.

Save the guy yourself

Problem: You suck at generally everything, especially saving people.

Solution: Use instructions.

Problem: Instructions are written in Chinese.

Solution: Learn Chinese

Problem: You learn the wrong kind of Chinese and by then SomGuy dies.

Solution: You never even cared about SomeGuy so you just go home and eat some pizza.

Problem: SomeGuy returns as a vengeful zombie, follows you home and craps on your pizza.

Solution: You shoot me in the face.

Problem: SomeGuy's face is disfigured, but his brain is still active.

Solution: Plastic surgery.

Zombie Someguy bites off the surgeon's arm.

Solution: He takes morphine.

Problem: He's allergic to morphine.

Solution: He takes Benadryl.

Problem: He falls asleep cause of the diphenhydramine

Solution: Lock Zombie SomeGuy in a side room to wait for the surgeon to wake up.

Problem: He breaks through a wall and eats 5 babies.

Solution: Medic does five girls to make up for it.

Problem: Miscarriages, one and all.

Solution: Bangs five others, correctly.

Problem: No he didn't his penis fell off.

Solution: He hires a male escort.

Problem: The escort works and impregnates all the girls, but he's broke and can't pay the escort.

Solution: Suicide.

Problem: This thread needs to be moved to senseless banter.