Obliterated (The Impact of Lucid Dreams)
So I had a dream a couple weeks ago. One of the most vivid lucid dreams I have ever experienced. I've never had a dream impact me so much in my waking life. I guess you could call it a nightmare because within the dream I felt like I experienced the deepest amount of fear possible. Although I did come out of that a dream a new man with a fresh/enlightened perspective!
The Dream: This is how it went... I gained lucidity during the middle of a fairly normal dream (I was selling ice cream from an ice cream truck). I became lucid spontaneously like I usually do. Once this happened I broke through the window of the ice cream truck and flew high into the sky. Flying is always the first thing I do when becoming lucid :). I love it most out of all the dream capabilities I've experienced! But one capability I have yet to try was deep reflection. I've never given myself the chance to ask my subconscious meaningful questions. So the first typical question that popped into my head was "What is my greatest fear?". I didn't even have to say it aloud. As soon as I thought that question, a giant Lego fell from the sky and knocked me to the ground. Yes, you read that right; a fuckin lego. My face had landed in a pile of dirt. As soon as I looked up and wiped the filth from my eyes, I noticed that Legos were falling everywhere. One by one the legos stacked up and formed a wall on all four sides of me. I was trapped! The area in which i was trapped had a good 50 ft of free space. I looked up and the sky... wasn't a sky. It was blue but it looked fake. It was a very bright and vivid blue. Kind of acidic you know? Like overly vibrant. Anyways, from this trippy looking sky came a floating angel-like guy. No wings, no halo. But a bright white aura surrounded him as he floated down to me. In his hands he carried three tablets. The tablets were rainbow colored with random designs. They were pretty much tie dyed. Anyways, once he had floated down to my level he said nothing. He simply laid the tablets in front of me and flew off. With no explanation whatsoever of what to do, I picked up one of the tablets. I moved it around in my hands trying to find any familiar markings or signs. Nothing. Quickly growing uninterested, I put it back on the ground. I reached for the second tablet and as soon as I fully wrapped my hands around this tie dye colored stone; ECSTASY. I felt purely amazing! I was glowing with excitement and energy! I couldn't handle myself, my body was buzzing. Literally buzzing! My entire body was vibrating at an extreme rate. So much that I dropped the tablet and it shattered on the ground. For some reason I wasn't upset that it had broken. I guess I felt good that I ever even got to experience such a sensation. Besides there still was another tablet that I have yet to pick up! I eagerly went to grab the next tablet. As soon as my skin made contact with the tablet, I was "obliterated". Yup. My bones completely ignited; ripping my muscles apart and breaking the barrier of skin that loosely kept me intact. It was like slow motion for me. In the midst of this moment i felt the deepest pain in my gut. The pain had spread outward from my gut and into my legs, chest, and eventually my brain. As soon as the pain had reached my brain, I left my body. I was now watching myself explode in third person/slow motion. Sounds kind of cool huh? Well. I've never felt so... disturbed... As soon as I went into third person I no longer felt the physical pain. But that was brutely replaced another kind of pain. A deep pain that I couldn't physically feel. It was a mix of fear, extreme anxiety, and deep sorrow. If I still had a body at that point, it would be on its knees crying due to these deep emotions. It deeply reminded me of a bad trip I had a couple years ago on mushrooms. The bad shroom trip had me throwing up and lost in a dark deep hell. After that trip I never thought that it was possible to feel that amount of fear ever again in my life. Well obviously I was wrong hahaha. After have my body exploded into mere dust, I felt fear that was ten times stronger than that shroom trip. My body was now a pile of ash. I was so focused on watching this happen that I didn't pay any attention to my surroundings. The legos had dissapeared! It was just a pile of my body-ash in the middle of white space. The space seemed infinitely big! Then all of a sudden smoke started arising from the ash. Thick grey smoke. Then a man came out of nowhere, walking towards the ash. As he was slowly walking towards the ash, I got a whiff of marijuana smoke. The smoke coming from the ash smelt like marijuana! The poorly dressed man walking over towards the smokey ash looked homeless. He wasn't too old. But he walked with a limp and had a head of tangled up nappy hair. He reached the pile of ash on the ground. I was only able to see the side of him as he pulled out a blunt wrap from his pocket. He grabbed the marijuana smoke (Yes, he actually was able to hold the smoke in his hand somehow) and put it into the blunt wrap. He rolled it up and withdrew a lighter from his nappy afro. He sparked up the blunt and took a hit. The last hit of his life. As soon as he inhaled the smoke he fell to the ground. Dead. His deceased body laid next to the pile of ash, as another man appeared in the distance. He walked towards the dead body at an average pace. Much faster than the limping homeless man. He was wearing a black mask. Like a ninja type mask. He looked quite bad ass. But he had the same clothes on as the homeless man. The only difference was that his clothes didn't have holes in them and weren't covered in filth. He got to the body and stepped over it, completely ignoring it. He bent over towards the pile of ash and laid his hand on top of it. Suddenly the ash began to rise and take shape of a human body again beneath his hand as he rose it higher and higher. Instantly I was transported back into my body. I opened my eyes and took a look at the man who had just ressurected me. He stared straight into my eyes and pulled off his mask... It was me! Just an older version of me! Damn he looked good :P. Besides one flaw... No words were exchanged since I was in such awe that I was seeing my future self, and the older me had no mouth. So no conversation began. But the language of life emitted from this man and flew into me. And I understood it. He smiled and I did so in return. He pulled a shovel from behind his back and handed it to me. Then he evaporated into thin air. I looked down at the corpse that lay beside my feet to find out that this poor dead man was also me... An older, poorer, worthless, version of me. I felt no sadness. In fact it was the exact opposite. I dug a hole with extreme ease into the ground. The ground wasn't hard to dig up, like dirt. Because it wasn't dirt! It was... well I don't know what you call the ground of an infinite white void. But I dug a whole 6 ft deep within a matter of seconds and rolled the dead body into the ground. After burrying the poor bastard, a tombstone popped out of the ground from which he lay. I went to read what was on the tomb stone but as I was trying to make out the first word, I woke up.
Feel free to help me interpret this dream :). I have my own interpretation, but I'd like to see what you guys think!
My Interpretation: Well after waking up from this dream, I felt amazing! I felt renewed! Reborn. The impact of the dream has lasted since then. I just feel great! To me the dream represented addiction. Just to let you guys know, I was a strong marijuana user before this dream. I know people say you can't get addicted to marijuana. But when you do the same thing nearly evert day for 2 and a half years, your addicted buddy. I say it was addicting because even on day i didn't really feel like smoking, I did it anyway just because I had some easily accesible. I also got introduced to a whole lot of other drugs and experimented with everything I could. Shrooms, snorting pills, liquor every weekend, DMT, cough syrup, and salvia. I didn't do these things as much as an actual physically addicted person. But I did have some agitating withdrawls after constant use of a certain pill. And life is pretty bland, weird, and depressing after mowin down on big amounts of shrooms a few weekends in a row. And it's not fun figuring out your allergic to DXM after sipping down more than half a bottle of it :(. Needless to say I was heading down the wrong path fast. I feel like this dream showed that to me in an extreme manner. I've been some-what sober since that dream and it feels pretty damn good :)
What are your guy's views on this dream? What else could it mean? Have you had dreams that have altered your life in some way? Any other possible symbolism? (Like what are the legos for? Any significance in the tablets?) I'd love to here you views on this!
Peace
