and ask him one question, what would it be?
PS. I didn't put this in the religion / spirituality forum because that place is wretched.
EDIT - it seems a mod put it there anyway. Now it's going to turn into an argument. Not cool.
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and ask him one question, what would it be?
PS. I didn't put this in the religion / spirituality forum because that place is wretched.
EDIT - it seems a mod put it there anyway. Now it's going to turn into an argument. Not cool.
Wheres my Pizza? , I prayed for it like 2 days ago!
I'd ask whether or not he interferes with the earthly world, and if he does, why are only *some* people cured of the illnesses they pray to get rid of?Quote:
Originally Posted by Tarsier
To add to that...why wont you heal amputees Mr?Quote:
Originally Posted by mini0991
Hello? Is Ahmed there? Last name Adoudi?
Yeah, that's for making my aunt suffer, prick. *slams phone*
(and yes, I did get that from the simpsons. :P)
Is there a heaven and/or hell???
Unfortunately it belongs there: http://www.dreamviews.com/community/...ad.php?t=59278Quote:
Originally Posted by Tarsier
Off-topicness, here we come!
I would ask him who he really was, because there is no God...
"What's up with everything?"
That's vague enough that I can keep pestering him until he answers everything of interest... or turns me into a pillar of salt.
Personally, I think it would be cool to talk with anyone/anything omniscient.
Hmm.. I wish you didn't do that.Quote:
Originally Posted by ninja9578
what is with mods lately.
*RING RING*
-Hello, this is God.
-Oh hey God, remember the last time I was over there
-Yeah
-You know before the whole amnesia treatment and all
-Yeah I remember
-Well, I was there with someone and....
-Huh ok?
-I've been looking everywhere for that person and....
-Yeah go on
-We kinda said we would meet up down here, so...
-Yeah! I think I know who your talking about now
-Oh great! Cool, then you can tell me where she is right?
-Let me take a looky see on my listy here
-Wow, nice. Finally!
-Oh oh
-What? Whats oh oh?
-Heh............
-......?
-One sec........... *Whispers*
- ??????
- Hello
- Hi who's this????
- Its me!!! Remember!!!!
- WHAT???!!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING UP THERE?????
- ........Well, I kinda got a little cold feet and all with the going down to earth and getting amnesia zapped and trying to figure out all the dumb things humans have to go through blah blah blah
- HUH????!!!!
- So I just decided to stay and take it easy up here
- But we had a good thing going before we decided to come down here, we promised to find each other and make a family and live happy forever and eternity????
- Yeah well, since I changed my mind about going I've met someone else
- HUHHHH WHAAAA?????
- I think you already know him
- It's not God is it?????????
- Oh crap, your good!
- .................................................. .................................................. .
- *Whispers*
- .................................................. .................................................. ..
- I was going to tell you in a dream when you were like around 60 or something...
- .................................................. .................................................. .
- you know, when you've searched almost all you life and stuff
- .................................................. .................................................. ..
- Well I'll see you when you get here, bye
-.................................................. .................................................. ...
- Dude I know I said you could have her but I just put too much effort in her for someone like you
- And you wan't me to look forward to the afterlife???????????????? WTF!
*HANGS UP*
The winning lottery numbers for the next, let's say, 50 years.
Also, the winners of all the next major sporting events.
I'LL BE RICH! HEHEHE.
What's the best way to keep your bong clean?
Can I assume this means you didn't want all the big bad atheists to say there is no god? Yes, we're so wretched. . . We don't mean to stomp on your precious beliefs, but the truth hurts.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tarsier
Anyway, hypothetically speaking, if there is a god (big if, I know), I would ask why his divine plan for humanity's salvation and afterlife is planned out so utterly void of any compassion and sympathy and why he thought hell was even close to the radar of "good ideas".
Igod
I would tell him that he's jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.
:D
Got to love Richard Dawkins ^^ Hey, you asked what I would do so... there you go :P
Oh that Dawkins...:?Quote:
Originally Posted by SomeDreamer
- If I happened to have masturbated while humping air, does that mean that we've, you know, done it?
Why did you gave little timmy cancer? : (
I'd call him a tyrant; among other things. No question.
This is why I didn't want the thread in here Ninja. Negativity. It's supposed to be a fun thread and it's sapped by people like this. It has no place in the religion forum because it's not about religion. It's a fun question, and like the rest of the people here I would expect whether or not they believe in a God they would answer (as if there was a God) rather than being dicks and trying to spread their hate and try to diss other people's beliefs. But whatever.Quote:
Originally Posted by Needcatscan
"God, why do you hate homosexuals,fornicators,other people's beliefs, sodomy, masturbation, sex in general, babies (from other tribes), foreskin, and overall the whole human race (hell,flood)"Quote:
Originally Posted by Tarsier
There's my question..... get the point Tarsier? :banana:
Mhm...Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakjavik
I'd ask him why he's an asshole.
"Can you call me back? I'm almost out of minutes."
I second that; religious people should take the log out of their own eye when telling atheists they are spreading hate.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakjavik
Not all religious people think that way.Quote:
Originally Posted by Needcatscan
"Can you hear me now?"
Do you hear the siren? That's the hyperbole police coming to take you away, and lock you up in the exaggeration cell.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tarsier
I just saw a bunch of people trying to be funny. No hate, sorry.
This topic hasn't much space to elaborate on anyway:
- Hi, I'm "god"!
- Which "god"?
- [blahblah].
- Oh ok, but how do I know it's really you?
- Errr....
- And how come you allow [blahblah] to happen? And why is it that [blahblah]?
- Errr.... gotta go. *hangs up*
It goes both ways. Period. All Tar wants is a thread where people can have fun. So come on, can you just give him that?Quote:
Originally Posted by Needcatscan
Anyway, I think I'd ask him he can make me speak both English and Japanese. (fluent Japanese. :D) Then I'd ask him if......OH!!! If he could give me the power to Lucid Dream every night!!! Of course, there are more important things I would ask him too, like is there a way to achieve World Peace, and the like. :)
I would ask him if seeing as he is everybodys father and theres no apparent mama, if he is indeed a hemaphrodite.
I would ask him "Why are we using phones?"
I'd think he's more like a super duper asexual person.Quote:
Originally Posted by marlie
I would ask him to impregnate me.
Hey GOD it's me, yeah me Elise!!!
So question,
Um how the fuck do you think you are, sending me to hell?????
I would ask him what a clever thing would be to ask him.
I would ask him what type of phone he is using..
I wouldn't. I would feel like an asshole wasting his time while others could be asking something important.
Saint-like answer hoo!
>.>
<.<
Ha, I like this one!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Xox
Id ask him if he could indeed create a boulder so heavy he couldnt lift it!
You can always call God on the phone. Nothing special.
I would say something along the lines of...
"Oh yeah?! You think you're SO DAMN OMNIPOTENT."
"YA"
"YA?! I bet you don't have the balls to destroy all of everything ever!!"
"OH YEA-"
"..."
"..."
Which God are you and how can you prove it?
"Okay, listen up, bitch, either you make my aunt's chemotherapy successful, or me and Satan will come up there and beat your ass! Which one's it gonna be?"
I like that simpsons thing or whatever it was..."Listen up God you either do what I ask or Satan's got a new errand boy"
I would ask him why he has the audacity to be so nonexistent.
I'd be like:
You know them old sugar daddies
They be tricking they tell them girls
I said you can have whatever you like
I said you can have whatever you like
Yeah
Stacks on deck. Patron on ice.
We can pop bottles all night
Baby you can have whatever you like
I said you can have whatever you like.
Yeah
Late night sex so wet and so tight.
I'll gas up the jet for you tonight and baby you can go wherever you like
I said you can go wherever you like
Yeah
Anytime you want to pick up the telephone you
know that it ain't nothing to drop a couple stacks on you
If you want it you can get it my dear
5 millions dollars homes drop the business i swear.
Yeah
I want yo body. I need yo body.
As long as you got me you won't need nobody
You want it, i got it. Go get it, I'll buy it
Tell them other broke niggas be quiet
Stacks on deck. Patron on ice.
We can pop bottles all night
Baby you can have whatever you like
I said you can have whatever you like.
Yeah
Late night sex so wet and so tight.
I'll gas up the jet for you tonight and baby you can go wherever you like
I said you can go wherever you like
Yeah
Shawty you the hottest. Love the way you drop it.
Brain so good could've sworn you went to college.
Honey cant deposit. Vacations in the tropics
And everybody know it ain't tricking if you got it
You ain't never ever gotta go in yo wallet.
Long as i got rubberband banks in my pocket.
5 6 rides wit rims and a body kit.
You ain't gotta downgrade you can get what i get
My chick can have what she want.
And go in any store for any bag she wants.
She ain't never had a man like that.
To buy you anything your heart desire like that.
I want yo body, I need yo body.
Long as you got me, you won't need nobody.
You want it, i got it. Go get it, I'll buy it.
Tell them other broke niggas be quiet.
Stacks on deck. Patron on ice.
We can pop bottles all night
Baby you can have whatever you like
I said you can have whatever you like.
Yeah
Late night sex so wet and so tight.
I'll gas up the jet for you tonight and baby you can go wherever you like
I said you can go wherever you like
Yeah
Talk big boy rides & big boy ice
Let me put this big boy in yo life.
That thing get so wet & get so right
Let me put this big boy in yo life. that's right.
I want yo body, I need yo body.
Long as you got me, you won't need nobody.
You want it, i got it. Go get it, I'll buy it.
Tell them other broke niggas be quiet.
Stacks on deck. Patron on ice.
We can pop bottles all night
Baby you can have whatever you like
I said you can have whatever you like.
Yeah
Late night sex so wet and so tight.
I'll gas up the jet for you tonight and baby you can go wherever you like
I said you can go wherever you like
Yeah
"Exactly what the Hell am I meant to be doing?"