Thread: If you could call God on the phone

Wheres my Pizza? , I prayed for it like 2 days ago!

Originally Posted by Tarsier

and ask him one question, what would it be?

PS. I didn't put this in the religion / spirituality forum because that place is wretched.

I'd ask whether or not he interferes with the earthly world, and if he does, why are only *some* people cured of the illnesses they pray to get rid of?

Originally Posted by mini0991

I'd ask whether or not he interferes with the earthly world, and if he does, why are only *some* people cured of the illnesses they pray to get rid of?

To add to that...why wont you heal amputees Mr?

Hello? Is Ahmed there? Last name Adoudi?


Yeah, that's for making my aunt suffer, prick. *slams phone*

(and yes, I did get that from the simpsons. )

Is there a heaven and/or hell???

Originally Posted by Tarsier

PS. I didn't put this in the religion / spirituality forum because that place is wretched.

Unfortunately it belongs there: http://www.dreamviews.com/community/...ad.php?t=59278

Off-topicness, here we come!

I would ask him who he really was, because there is no God...

"What's up with everything?"

That's vague enough that I can keep pestering him until he answers everything of interest... or turns me into a pillar of salt.

Personally, I think it would be cool to talk with anyone/anything omniscient.

Originally Posted by ninja9578

Unfortunately it belongs there: http://www.dreamviews.com/community/...ad.php?t=59278

Hmm.. I wish you didn't do that.

what is with mods lately.

*RING RING*

-Hello, this is God.

-Oh hey God, remember the last time I was over there

-Yeah

-You know before the whole amnesia treatment and all

-Yeah I remember

-Well, I was there with someone and....

-Huh ok?

-I've been looking everywhere for that person and....

-Yeah go on

-We kinda said we would meet up down here, so...

-Yeah! I think I know who your talking about now

-Oh great! Cool, then you can tell me where she is right?

-Let me take a looky see on my listy here

-Wow, nice. Finally!

-Oh oh

-What? Whats oh oh?

-Heh............

-......?

-One sec........... *Whispers*

- ??????

- Hello

- Hi who's this????

- Its me!!! Remember!!!!

- WHAT???!!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING UP THERE?????

- ........Well, I kinda got a little cold feet and all with the going down to earth and getting amnesia zapped and trying to figure out all the dumb things humans have to go through blah blah blah

- HUH????!!!!

- So I just decided to stay and take it easy up here

- But we had a good thing going before we decided to come down here, we promised to find each other and make a family and live happy forever and eternity????

- Yeah well, since I changed my mind about going I've met someone else

- HUHHHH WHAAAA?????

- I think you already know him

- It's not God is it?????????

- Oh crap, your good!

- .................................................. .................................................. .

- *Whispers*

- .................................................. .................................................. ..

- I was going to tell you in a dream when you were like around 60 or something...

- .................................................. .................................................. .

- you know, when you've searched almost all you life and stuff


- .................................................. .................................................. ..

- Well I'll see you when you get here, bye

-.................................................. .................................................. ...

- Dude I know I said you could have her but I just put too much effort in her for someone like you

- And you wan't me to look forward to the afterlife???????????????? WTF!

*HANGS UP*

The winning lottery numbers for the next, let's say, 50 years.

Also, the winners of all the next major sporting events.


I'LL BE RICH! HEHEHE.

What's the best way to keep your bong clean?

Originally Posted by Tarsier

I didn't put this in the religion / spirituality forum because that place is wretched.

Can I assume this means you didn't want all the big bad atheists to say there is no god? Yes, we're so wretched. . . We don't mean to stomp on your precious beliefs, but the truth hurts.

Anyway, hypothetically speaking, if there is a god (big if, I know), I would ask why his divine plan for humanity's salvation and afterlife is planned out so utterly void of any compassion and sympathy and why he thought hell was even close to the radar of "good ideas".

Igod

I would tell him that he's jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.



Got to love Richard Dawkins ^^ Hey, you asked what I would do so... there you go

Originally Posted by SomeDreamer

I would tell him that he's jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.



Got to love Richard Dawkins ^^ Hey, you asked what I would do so... there you go

Oh that Dawkins...

- If I happened to have masturbated while humping air, does that mean that we've, you know, done it?

Why did you gave little timmy cancer? : (

I'd call him a tyrant; among other things. No question.

Originally Posted by Needcatscan

Can I assume this means you didn't want all the big bad atheists to say there is no god? Yes, we're so wretched. . . We don't mean to stomp on your precious beliefs, but the truth hurts.

Anyway, hypothetically speaking, if there is a god (big if, I know), I would ask why his divine plan for humanity's salvation and afterlife is planned out so utterly void of any compassion and sympathy and why he thought hell was even close to the radar of "good ideas".

This is why I didn't want the thread in here Ninja. Negativity. It's supposed to be a fun thread and it's sapped by people like this. It has no place in the religion forum because it's not about religion. It's a fun question, and like the rest of the people here I would expect whether or not they believe in a God they would answer (as if there was a God) rather than being dicks and trying to spread their hate and try to diss other people's beliefs. But whatever.

Originally Posted by Tarsier

being dicks and trying to spread their hate and try to diss other people's beliefs.

"God, why do you hate homosexuals,fornicators,other people's beliefs, sodomy, masturbation, sex in general, babies (from other tribes), foreskin, and overall the whole human race (hell,flood)"

There's my question..... get the point Tarsier?

Originally Posted by Rakjavik

"God, why do you hate homosexuals,fornicators,other people's beliefs, sodomy, masturbation, sex in general, babies (from other tribes), foreskin, and overall the whole human race (hell,flood)"

There's my question..... get the point Tarsier?

Mhm...

I'd ask him why he's an asshole.