My first attempt.. half success? Help :(
Calling all experienced WILDers, I need your thoughts!
I am a complete duffer at this stuff, as you can tell by how new my membership is. That being said, I have had the desire to become lucid a long time and have been practicing regular reality checks in hopes of getting a DILD. So far no luck with DILD, no matter how crazy my dream is, it seems I just accept it and shake my head in the morning while recording it.
The other night I was woken up by my son in the early hours. After quickly recording my dream, I fed him and headed back to bed. I'd had about 7 hours of sleep and was feeling nicely rested, so it occurred to me to try a WILD.
Sleep paralysis seems to come easy to me, maybe because I have been practicing it for a good chunk of my life. It was taught to me as "meditating" when I was younger. I now realize that my "meditation" - a feeling of a completely numb body that's relaxed and heavy and unable to move - is actually SP. So I did that.
I expected to have to fight against sleep, because that is what I have been mainly using my meditation/SP to achieve in the years past. I had no trouble staying alert though.
The first thing I remember is what I could only describe as dark smokey coloured curls swirling through my "vision". It occurred to me that this could be HI. I relaxed and went with it, watching them calmly. One swirly thingie came towards "me" and it pulls my focus inward, unexpectedly. Now I hear things differently and it's a complete surprise to me. My breath and heart sounds so much louder. It's a bit disorienting, but I try to just accept and float along with it. Next there was a feeling of buzzing (like a fuzzy buzzing?) around my head and feet.
I read in a book about this feeling being the start of the good stuff, and that makes me really happy. It must have really excited me too, because my heart starts to pound really fast and loud. I feel a bit like I can't get enough air. I'm suddenly scared my strong emotion is going to kick me out so I try to calm. Now I feel a distinct sensation of rolling both away from and into myself at the same time. It's really disorienting and causes my muscles to tense slightly - which makes me wonder if I have come out of SP? And that's where things fall a part :(
I try to lay still in hopes it will all start again, but am only left with some random floaty feelings, still very much in the physical. Morning sounds shatter any further attempt.
I was so happy but frustrated by the whole experience. I feel like I got pretty far. I was excited to try again last night, but ugh what a let down.
First was my man - he was snoring away next to me. I could ignore it to some extent because I had some brain wave app running in my earphones. What I couldn't ignore was his violent twitching that would push my body and wake it up. I could feel the SP fading then returning slowly. SOOooo frustrating. After 3 "shoves" I got up and went to the couch.
But I just couldn't get there. I kept falling asleep this time. I tried on my back and on my side. Originally I was on my side when I had my partial success, but I thought that the original might have failed in part because of my position. However, laying on my back just made me fall asleep faster!
In short I am down in the dumps. After such a high and feeling so good about finally getting somewhere... it sucks!
Any help would be hugely appreciated!!
