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    1. #1
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      OpheliaBlue's Avatar
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      Around the Square mp3

      Ok it's my first composition on guitar PLEASE bear in mind I've only been playing guitar for 10 days. So it's really simple and my playing is still all over the place. But I just wanted to play around and tell a little story. Constructive criticisms welcome!!

      Around the Square.mp3


      lyrics:

      My baby woke up to the sound of this song
      I climbed into his room and told him nothing was wrong, “Nothing’s wrong. Go back to sleep baby, nothing’s wrong.”
      We still belong
      Like the birthday song
      But for just how long, how longity longity long?

      I love you but you don’t
      And I love you but you won’t

      Then we woke up my baby again, don’t you know?
      First a call and then a ball and then another call and then a throw
      I said “No”
      He said “Go”
      And I said “no no no no no no no no no no no no no no”

      I love you but you don’t
      And I love you but you won’t

      I woke up to the sound of my baby cry
      He just needed a drink, and so did I, ohhhhh so did I
      But it’s ok, kuz we’re still here
      Though he’s disappeared
      And it’s as I feared as he feared as I feared as he feared

      That I love you but you don’t
      And I love you but you won’t

    2. #2
      - Neruo's Avatar
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      Cool that you are allready making music after 10 days. The chords sound nice, did you compose them yourself? And you can like... sing :0

      It sounds really good!

      edit: Just realised I sound like sucking up. ^___^ But realy isn't bad, for a rookie 8)
      “What a peculiar privilege has this little agitation of the brain which we call 'thought'” -Hume

    3. #3
      Member dudesuperior's Avatar
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      That's really good after only 10 days! Great singing voice!

      Adopted: Spirit, MCM1013

    4. #4
      Sor - Tee - Le - Gee - O Sortilegio's Avatar
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      Very good , If you'd like any critisisim, from personal expirience I can say from playing guitar is that it is alot better to get used to it first without singing and build up some speed in between chords, after its very well acomplished to add the singing, when I was starting guitar, mixinig it with singing fucked me up like hell with rithym
      Here and there...

    5. #5
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      OpheliaBlue's Avatar
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      thanks y'all

      Originally posted by Sortilegio
      Very good , If you'd like any critisisim, from personal expirience I can say from playing guitar is that it is alot better to get used to it first without singing and build up some speed in between chords, after its very well acomplished to add the singing, when I was starting guitar, mixinig it with singing fucked me up like hell with rithym
      oh yeah you're totally right, and you can even hear me getting rather uncoordinated in a few places because I'm having to concentrate on singing AND playing

      so thanks for the advice man, I'll practice them separately some more

    6. #6
      Senior Pendejo Tornado Joe's Avatar
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      My dear, you would be dangerous with a Gibson Les Paul SG in your hands!!
      So, did you incorporate the "F" in this piece?

      ROCK ON!

    7. #7
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      OpheliaBlue's Avatar
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      Originally posted by Tornado Joe
      My dear, you would dangerous with a Gibson Les Paul SG in your hands!!
      I'm assuming that's a compliment Joe because I just googled what you said and that's a damn sexy looking instrument

      awwww, it even comes in 'ophelia' blue:



      Originally posted by Joe Mio
      So, did you incorporate the "F" in this piece?
      nah it's just D, G, A because I'm a sissy

    8. #8
      Senior Pendejo Tornado Joe's Avatar
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      nah it's just D, G, A because I'm a sissy [/b]
      Oh, well next time rearrange the progression so that it spells DAG!

    9. #9
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      OpheliaBlue's Avatar
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      Originally posted by Tornado Joe
      nah it's just D, G, A because I'm a sissy
      Oh, well next time rearrange the progression so that it spells DAG![/b]
      well how about I do it in F and make it FAG

      that reminds me, we used to do that in band, like point the bell of our trumpet/french horn/trombone/etc to one of our friends and blast the 3 notes "F A G" at them

      was very funny and quite geeky now that I recall


      edit: you know, I just tried it with D, A ,G progression, and it sounds kinda good that way too

      now I don't know which way I like better =/

      incidentally F, A, G just sounds queer

    10. #10
      Member Jrels's Avatar
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      Your voice is superb, I must say.

    11. #11
      Godzilla
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      Good god, that is truly amazing, Ophelia. Beautiful playing and beautiful singing. That sounds like you have been playing ye olde guitar for a lot longer when you recorded this.
      Bloody good show!

    12. #12
      Member Vampyre's Avatar
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      That was pretty good. I wouldn't have guessed that you've only been playing for 10 days, so good job on that. The background noises and stuff are kind of annoying. I wasn't sure if that was part of the song at first, because it was so out of place, but meh.

      And as for the whole SG idea, I'd imagine that a song like this is plainly better on acoustic, than any electric. Oh well.

      EDIT: By the way, why is it called Around the Square? Seems irrelevant...

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