Been working nonstop with family. Maybe effecting recall. Not sure. Only one dream to recall... Had some issues with the voice lately. One of us or both of us had a minor relapse in something she doesn't quite want to mention publicly. But we seem to be past it now. The one dream seems to reflect the mood. Jamie I was going to bed. Jamie was going to bed separately but we were separated by a wooden thing. She had really short hair like a boy's. She was getting into be and wasn't looking at me. I said as a voice in my head, " Jamie please look at me." Her eyes shot up for a split second with no expression. She then looked down sort of in submission. Was it guilt? Hopefully we're past it now.
I dreamt all the vegans in the world were going to die. They all looked pale and weak. Very odd. I don’t remember the rest as I woke up for work
29/12/24 04;40 another beautiful white horse was playfully rolling in a field. i was enjoying the show. 31/12/24 I had a false awakening. I was in a shop and it was gloomy so I told the shopkeeper I could easily help sell his stuff and make his shop better. so I went outside and saw a dog and squeaked its nose and I became lucid, and somehow I needed up sat downstairs telling my sister I had a lucid dream last night and told her I squeaked a dogs nose... then I woke up and realised I had dreamt it all. I have only ever had a handful of false awakenings but they give me hope I am getting there 05;30 3/01/25 03;50 I was serving an old boyfriend coffee, we were both young again and I had curly hair and was fixing it in the mirror, I felt intoxicated but woke up. 0415 I was in a bar upstairs in my old town with the same exboyfriend from my youth, and we were in love again and arm in arm, and I looked outside and the church was having a fair... I felt on the cusp of becoming lucid but woke up. damn. 05;00 white horse was running around in the country and I was serving the police force some sandwiches and tea. then suddenly I was being taken in a taxi to meet my soulmate. I was wearing pjarmas and we pulled up at a beautiful country pub...I woke up abruptly...after intently looking at my slippers! damn, again no lucid luck. 5/01/25 dreamt I was having my hair done. I had lovely curls again. non lucid 9/01/25 I was in a field with beautiful fluffy new born foals. I was telling everyone how cute they were, my friend said she would go and look, then it switched to 2 fluffy dogs, one of which was Scotts from work.
Okay, This time the Jamie voice was asking if we become an in person physical couple, will we be praying together daily? Yes, that's my intentions. Google: success rate of marriage couples who pray together daily. Anyway dreams. Raven? I was wandering around a small city. The size of Red Deer or lethbridge... a bit of Chilliwack in there. This place had a lake or marina. I was by some docks. I left some big building. I ran into Raven somewhere on the street. We had a brief chat. Can't remember about what. Just that we both agreed to meet at the library later. I continued walking. I came near Jamie's house, but decided not to walk by... Didn't want to seem like a stalker. Jamie 1 Just a flash of me standing in a hallway talking to Jamie she was complaining about something. She said something like, "I kicked Chelsea out because she showed you her bum!!!" I woke up from that laughing... Add that to the list of quotable Jamie dream quotes. I forgot about Chelsea. I live far away now and made sure she would never consider talking to me again. Jamie 2 I went into Jamie's room. Some young guy was there with curly hair holding her hand. He said he was her new boyfriend. Seems we are both having dreams of cheating. Her voice seems fine so I don't think that dream means anything. piano I was in a strange mall around didsbury. I was in some store looking at a piano. Apparently someone was hired to tune it. It was a blond girl. But she had jamie's face? I didn't really recognize her and said, "Oh really we have another piano tuner in this area?". She said nothing and started talking the covers off the piano. I left but came back. The woman had removed keys out of order and far away from the piano. The woman piano tuner came up to me and said she really messed up and that I could have this job. I looked for numbers on the keys or a line drawn across the keys to determine the key order. I couldn't. This was going to be a headache to figure out. Yeah, figuring out pianos is hard. I hope Jamie would be open to some training to help with the business? Crash I was in my car and someone else was driving it. We passed someone on the road. The car hit a tree. I saw the entire front end squish. Somehow no one was hurt.
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Hardly any dreams. The Jamie voice is still consistent. Good! Jamie Just a flash of me and Jamie slow dancing in some house. I hear music but I don't recognize it. Her voice comments on it when I wake up. Strange A dream about characters from the Dexter show. It's the actors from the OG version, not the new prequel with different actors. ( Excellent casting though. The current actor is good, but he lacks some of the charm of Michael C, Hall). In the dream I'm not sure what is happening. I'm standing by something and Debra falls off something. I have false memories of her coming out of the pool, but she's covered in burns, like she was in a pool of acid. She doesn't come out though. I get worried and tell her boyfriend to go in after her before she dies.
Apparently the Jamie voice was asking for confirmation that I really do wish to see her. Yes. Every single day. Jamie 1 Just a flash of her coming down some steps and her smiling at me. Jamie 2 I kept seeing us walking by my old house in Olds. We kept talking. Then I'd wake up and talk to her voice. Fall asleep back into the dream. Recycle this a few times. It was almost like we were having 2 conversations at once. Also the Reddi-Mart in Bowden is being forced to shut down at the end of the month. Jamie won't be able to stalk me there no more. .
I seem to be staying in an apartment, apparently some kind of temporary accommodation, with a woman and a third person I can remember even less clearly. Something strange is going on, but it isn’t clear what. At some point, we go out and are on a sidewalk going past a number of similar apartment-style buildings. But we’ve barely left when I realize that leaving was a bad idea - we’re playing into their hands. (Whose? Can’t remember now….) And it’s already too late. Two figures are rapidly approaching me. One is an enormous, threatening dog, controlled by the other, although there’s something human about it too. It’s clearly too tight a spot to get out of, and so I successfully manage to negotiate instead. In return for not giving them a fight, they’ll come by the apartment for me later instead. After that, we’re back in the apartment, or at least some version of it, trying to figure out what to do. But I’ve realized something: this whole thing is about the woman, not me, and so there may not be much I can do. (I haven’t explicitly realized that I’m dreaming, but it’s pretty clear that I’m operating on the assumption.) It’s as if there’s some mystery we don’t fully understand, but we’ll have to solve it, or rather she will, to achieve a good outcome. I’m suddenly struck with a realization. The biggest problem here is that this experience-space is being conditioned by the expectation that only things that make real-world sense can happen. Other possibilities are being excluded, and I can see that if that logic is allowed to dictate what happens next, failure is practically guaranteed. But if I can manage to de-condition this space, then - well, it might not solve the problem. That’s out of my hands. But it will at least make the problem solvable. And so I begin to talk. Not to anyone in particular - the woman is within earshot, but I’m keeping out of her way otherwise, as this seems to be the extent to which I can help, and anything further is probably just going to interfere. I say whatever weird, off-the-wall non sequiturs without the slightest connection to the present situation happen to pop into my head. I am always happy to help, especially if it’s by doing something that under ordinary circumstances would just be obnoxious. I can feel it working. Little by little, the space is becoming less rigidly structured and predictable; dream logic is reestablishing itself here. I can hear, in another room, new characters, having arisen out of nothing, are speaking with the woman. Previously intangible aspects of the situation are beginning to manifest, and accordingly, she now seems to be making actual progress. (This was another entirely-over-by-2-am dream, for the record) 2.1.24
Happy New Year folks, it's been a while since I posted in here for my sleep schedule has been too much of a mess as I work evenings/nights now. This is kinda my "hatsuyume" of this year as it's often measured on the second day, my first day can be found on Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/soapdispensersalesman/771531644662398976/bruh-my-first-dream-of-the-year-was-about-me-at-a?source=share I was in Amersfoort for a meeting for a cultural event or something (Probably Spoffin as I volunteered there in 2017 but never got around to it since while last year they had their final edition due to its lack of funding. At the meeting I'm hanging out with a group of people, including this guy I don't recall seeing there but somewhat resembles two dudes I befriended there. The guy asks what I've been up to and I tell him I lived in Berlin for a year and was about to tell him I'm employed in a theatre now but he interrupted me to express his fascinating how "my ship had sailed there" we were to continue to the conversation after drinks in the cafeteria, the cafeteria only has these mini Yakult sized fruit yogurt drinks, I order a banana one for three euros but wasn't sure I had enough money on my card. It was cash only anywayd but the person was looking for a mini wireless PIN device in their bag while I find change in my wallet and pay four euros as a small "spenden" which I have put in one of the random random duffel bags the cashier placed on the table. As i return from the food court and see the guy deeply in conversation with someone else, I briefly return to the meeting room to return my stuff in my bag, there I see a brunette girl who somewhat resembles a girl from my class when I studied media design who was the only one interested into taking the programming route, but with short hair. She also hsd this familiar look towards a woman I had seem somewhere before, at work or something. I still cannot recall, but I woke up.
…or at least the parts of it I can still sort of remember. I am with a group of people in a large space. There seem to be many small groups here, spread out in a number of seating areas, I guess you’d call them, except it’s more along the lines of cushions on the floor. The best comparison I can make would be an evacuation shelter in terms of the scale of the space and how it’s configured - although that isn’t what it is. There’s no sense of danger or conflict or anything outside of the ordinary. The people with me, all women, I think, are DJs, and at some point, I take out my field recorder and offer to make a recording of some strange sound they’ve discovered and are messing around with making and send them a file of it later. (Because everybody likes to collect sounds, right?) But first, I check the settings to make sure I’ll be making a high-quality recording in the correct format. The interface is an unfamiliar one, which I rationalize by thinking that this isn’t the recorder I normally use. I also lose another chance at recognizing that this is a dream because, in spite of the fact that I’m looking at text on an electronic display, my recorder does not seem to be suffering from dodgy dream device syndrome. Far from it. Everything looks stable, and quite detailed - it’s actually the part of the dream I have the most precise memory of - and I don’t have a hard time adjusting the settings. 1.1.25
Lots of negative voices heard between me and Jamie. Don't believe them. DV fix your website. It's virtually impossible to post a blog on PC or mobile. Dream 1 I was walking around a city. I saw a vertex skin sitting on a ramp with a sniper. Forgot what happened. I made it into some house. Had a FA in the house. Someone's hands were in my back pockets. It was some older guy trying to molest me. I turned around and on another be Jamie and Asuka were sitting on another bed staring at me in shock. I said I need help. Get this guy off me. I forget what happened after. Dream 2 I was with Jamie. We stopped at a truck stop with a biker bar attached to it. We went into a bathroom and started having sex.. Don't remember any other dreams.
Jamie voice seemed to be splitting after my last entry. Wasn't sure why. Of course I meant she's more than welcome to come to my door and ask for me. I simply meant other options as suggestions for whatever she feels comfortable with. Maybe she was upset over my unwillingness to reach out first. Even though I already did a few times. She never responded. If my best message to her still isn't good enough for her. No further attempts are necessary. I argued with her voice on this early this morning about this very thing. She admitted: It's unreasonable to expect you reach to me, if I don't respond. Exactly right! This entirely changes if she begins to talk to me and let's me know that further communication is okay. I'm ready to step up then. Dreams: 2 nights ago. Jamie 1 (Can't use colors because I can't get posting entries here to work properly on PC or mobile. What gives DV? What gives?) I dreamed Jamie was working construction with me or something. I was climbing up some scaffold or something. Jamie was climbing to but she was surrounded by wooden ramps and walls they were also moving very fast. I told her that's not necessary, we're simply here to work. Fortnite again? Jamie 2 She was with me in a house? We kept flying around but instead of talking , we kept leaving notes for one another. Jamie 3 I was with Jamie in a city. She had a fancy blue car. She pushed a button and it started changing into a more fancy car or something. She laughed and asked if I liked it? When I woke up. I kinda split on that. She seemed like her careless and grandiose self of which I have very bad memories of. I recall her being quite hurtful when she was like that. Jamie 4 I was walking on a residential street. I was eating a sandwich. It had some meat and a shitload of mayonnaise. It was messy. I don't recall liking it too much. Woke up and the voice said she made me pastrami on rye? Oops I was supposed to like it. Sorry. This whole entry seems negative. So I'll end on some positive notes. Pets I woke up on top of a bunk bed. There were tiny goats flying up to me and I was petting them. Also the Jamie voice wanted me to confirm some of the jokes we say to one another. Many months ago I was trying to cheer up her voice by saying, " I believe in the good person inside of you." She responded, " You are the good person inside of me." Lol. Read into that however you like. It's been a running joke ever since. I hope next dreams are loving and affectionate. These holidays were more moody than what I would have liked.
0600...I was again walking down a leafy suburb and woke up.....barrrrr
Merry Chrysler! Aw, shit it's boxing day... Scary height? Me and Jamie were on a giant tall hill. In the middle of a giant tree... with a wooden base around it built into the tree. We had two other members on the team running around below. We were waiting for something. for some reason I had a pistol on me... Wait are we dreaming about fortnite again? OG map? Jamie said that this was really high up. She seemed scared. I was too. some guy from our team said no one was around so it was safe to go down. We did. I found a bunker full of food. I felt like making bacon. Last night: Jesus again Me and Jamie were in a very large standing area. There was a multitude of couples with us in the standing area. It felt like these couples were like me and Jamie - Hand picked by Jesus for life commitments - but he had to separate them first to work on them. We were all facing the front where there was a throne. Jesus was there on the throne. He said, "My children I'm beginning my work NOW to bring you all together again." I woke from this dream. The Jesus voice said (Or Holy Spirit), "Jamie is knocking on the door now.". That's funny, when I first arrived back in Bowden, over a year ago, He said she was at the door. Well, my door is open. If she wants to talk, She knows where my house is. I would not turn her away. If she's comfortable with phones first, my business with my personal cell is online, and in the Western.Buy.Sell.Trade paper. Or, if she wants to leave a note on my car. We both seem to be at a stalemate - I've already tried to reach out to her, she doesn't respond, I don't like what her non response does to me, so My hands are tied. I've seen her drive by me many times, but she never stops to talk. Maybe Jesus is hinting that he may do something... wether it's running into eachother more often, or through familiar people, or situations. In any case, it sounds like it's on the horizon. Jamie 3 I'm with Jamie in a house kitchen that seems to be ours. She's carrying a baby. She says, "We're beginning to run out of food." Yes, I'm worried about that too. Even if together there might be staying with In-Laws for a while. My business is slowly picking up. I want to get other things going too. Like flipping computers. There's lots of things to gt into for side hustles or careers.
24th Hypnagogia A field of sunflowers is actually a field of suns that are tied off and bobbing like balloons. Messes To hell with the mirth and mess. Flee hypocrisy. The inn is the out. Too soon it too is dirt and distress. The scatter of trash nimbly mutates into a piercing childhood haunt, monster of false memories. Escape filth and faulty flashbacks. Uneasy freedom is found in bizarre streets.
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