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allweek only 2 dreams about jamie.first Iam looking for her but I can't find her or she was there and not talking to me. 2nd dream she is sweet talking a boyfriend that is a lot like me but isn't me, like a chubby much more cringey me? idk. either way I'm not happy with any of these dreams..

2022 May 9th

Some in-line notes.

7:50
Fragment:
(woke up sweating, vivid long dream)
Some build-up or something; there are aliens and we are fighting them off as a whole, but only just barely so. It's revealed these aliens are just a scouting party and they are part of a larger conglomerate of alien species. During the dream I see several different scenes just as an observer.

Meanwhile, there's chaos as a human leader, a woman with short hair, declares that nobody has rights anymore, and that we are moving into a new era beyond our conventional conception of rights. She sounds or seems delusional in some way. I think I saw her give this announcement on some TV thing, but just as an observer.

Then I'm in a town, outside. There's a modern feel to the area and the previous announcement had been broadcast on the radio, though I didn't hear this myself as a character.

There's an RPG element to reality but it feels absolutely real in every other way.

I survive an attack and fight my way into some place. I am constantly chased by aliens or possibly their machines. Eventually, I use some fast-travel mechanic. Once at my destination, I meet up with a friendly robot. It explains that this worm thing has moved to the edge of reality, it looks like a Combine alien. (In retrospect this whole bit makes me think of the original Dune film)

Normally, reality moves independently of what's in it. But being at the edge curves reality and causes this high pitch noise to be heard throughout the entire dream. And now, in it's current state, reality moves with the contents. This means there's a very big danger to existence itself and all this chaos makes it worse to deal with. (This segment made no sense at all after waking, but during the dream everything seemed to make sense; there were implied laws of reality that were taken for granted and the whole thing had a semi-mystical aspect to it)

10:15
Fragment:
(most of recall lost for needing to answer door)

In one bit, I'm this woman, a diver, and I'm coming out of some water into a house or apartment through the floor. It's night time or the house is dark, some lights are on. I'm sort of on the floor, tummy down. A TV is in front of me. I think to myself, "am I actually myself?" and then, just as I'm about to do a reality check with my hands, this other woman with curly hair comes out of a doorframe, smiles at me and we start talking. We know each other as characters. At this point I think to myself that I like her body. I still try to do the reality check, but because of the conversation and social setting, I end up not focusing enough on my reality check.

I’m at a beach with what seems like some of the family. It is definitely a beach on the ocean coast. It looks like Hawaii or the California coast. The sand is long and also very deep, sloping down to reach the water. The waves come in large but not violently. It is dim out but the scene seems to be lit with some glow, maybe twilight or moonlight. I’m in the water now, with Dad and Stella. Stella swims after something - a toy?, not an animal. She dives down quite a ways after it. I’m apprehensive at first but then relax when I see how well she’s doing.

They have reimposed a mask mandate. Immediately, most people have started wearing them. Walking around, there are a few that aren’t. I’m among the few and more confident about my decision this time around, seeing how they didn’t change anything.


I think I’ve driven somewhere with Melissa, but she won’t be driving back with me. I see the area, it looks like Central America, as if on a map. It zooms in at times as I think about places I could stop to see.

Today is wednesday, last tuesday I have moved.
Since I got here, I'm sleeping well and having what I feel are cool dreams. But I didn't remember them until last night.

I am standing at a scanner, like they have at the airport. Others are at other scanners and waiting in line. Based on a scan we are let through or taken for "exam". I'm told I need an exam and to follow someone. I ask if I can go to the restroom first and I'm escorted by an attendant.

There is something strange going on. As I go to restroom again later, I see things I'm suspicious about. Rooms like in a hospital, people in white lab coats and chopped up pieces of people. I hide from them as I make my way through. I come to the room where normal people are looking at packaged "meat" on the shelves to buy it.

I find my way out. Then there is something going on outside which I don't remember. Lol I just rememberd. I'm leaving through the street which is blocked off by some junk and a truck brings even more junk. Then there is more but I don't remember that.

Thank you for my dreams and for the recall.

I want to continue with mindfulness, meditating and APing.

I’ve gone to a school building to hold a chess club meeting there. It’s dark, like an early winter morning before school hours, and it’s drizzling out. The layout of the building is reminiscent of the second high school I attended. I realize I’ve left my equipment in the car, but I still have plenty of time to get it and set up before students start arriving.

I’m still setting up when Coach A arrives. (He taught math there, as well as coaching track and cross country.) He’s apparently going to be here for the lesson today. The students start arriving as well, but I still haven’t got my board up. Looking around the room, I notice that I also seem to have brought my bouzouki along, in its hard case, as well as a Jolly Roger on a short staff (which, in retrospect, was maybe the first sign that things were about to get a little weird).

I hang my board in the front of the room, but some students say they could see it better in the back, so I move it there instead and begin the lesson. I start with ladder checkmates, asking whether anyone is already familiar with them. Some are. I continue, but Coach A comes in with an explanation of his own which seems to be a bit of a digression. I’m not really happy about his presence, but he does work here, so I just have to work with the situation.

In what follows, I give a version of the lesson which is recognizable, though a bit twisted in places, explaining how the rooks work together to trap the opponent’s king on one side of the board – I recall comparing the rooks to clumps of dough around the king when the checkmate has been accomplished. I’m aware that this seems to be taking an unusually long time, and most of the students who would really benefit from it aren’t here today, and at this rate I don’t know if I’ll have time for the rook and king checkmate, too.

I then proceed to explain the checkmate again, in a different way, by launching into a long, elaborate story about a man who is walking along the street one day, minding his own business, when he finds himself closed in by an impassable wall. He tries to escape, but he is already trapped, and the walls keep getting closer and closer without there being anything he can do about it. The visual aspect of the dream is now the story’s events rather than the classroom. I can’t remember many of the details now but you can probably get a good idea of what it was like by watching a video on ladder checkmates and then reading Kafka’s The Trial.

-24.5.22

Date: 22/05/2022
Bedtime: 2am
Awakening: 5.53am
Return to bed: 6.10am
Method of entry: dream consciousness
Attempt: successful
Awakening: 8.15am
Phase experience: The Guitar Experiment


DREAM STATE

I'm walking towards a nighttime wilderness in England with my former schoolmate Javed and a Sri Lankan punter from my former days as a bookie; both men are willing to have a friendly fight and I'm the umpire reminding them to play by the rules and that they are not to get seriously injured as both are family men. We jump over a brick wall and the fight is about to commence when I spot what look like a couple of Kodiak bears approaching from a distance and hurtling towards the men. Eventually, the ferocious beasts catch up to them and both faint; I hide behind a tree as I believe the would-be fighters are about to be devoured. The animals are not bears at all seen as they possess a larger and quite uncanny presence—they remind me of a cross between a lion and a rhinoceros but overall redolent of the demonic hounds in Ghostbusters. I am petrified and in awe of such creatures which are not officially known to exist. I hear fingers clicking and the beasts freeze next to the unconscious men. Not far, I see Judi Dench (the actress who plays 'M' in 007 films) standing in front of a building that wasn't there before which I take to be a top secret facility. I immediately get the impression that she controls the hellish hounds and, approaching, she snaps her fingers again. Huge mandibles grip the men's limbs and a jerk accompanied by a crunch rouses them back to consciousness. I am taken aback by this nifty trick as the men scram in a panic. It isn't Javed running alongside the Sri Lankan punter; it is now Bob Hoskins. I furtively get away and encounter my friend Lizzie Bowman in the wilderness who also witnessed Judi Dench's hounds. We run together and there is an impression that we must know where to tread because England is now swarming with lions and there is the added challenge that they move around. It feels like a precarious memory game.


WAKING STATE

I record what I can remember and note potential dream cues such as the social contradiction of Javed and my former customer, stark elements from my past, the unlikely situation of being the referee of an agreed upon fight in the wilderness, seeing celebrities, shapeshifting, impossible monstrous animals and the threat of lions. I also identify schematic associations by my dreaming mind, e.g., the night before I dreamt of a giant Venus flytrap similar to the one in the film Little Shop of Horrors which happens to star Rick Moranis who is also in Ghostbusters. I return to bed with the intention to induce a lucid dream and fall asleep.


DREAM STATE

Me and a group of people are sat around a table. It is my understanding that this is a therapy group session and it is peculiar that every male—myself included—is topless and we have to present the females with instances of child abuse and domestic violence. A male psychotherapist interrupts the session to announce that there's been a mix-up and some of us are in the wrong group—I happen to be one of the misplaced ones. I am invited to leave the room for a break before embarking upon finding the right room. One side of the room is missing a wall and I use this wide gap to jump down to a dark underground sewage system resembling what I encountered under a bridge in a recent lucid dream. This is somewhat familiar! What am I doing here? I'm dreaming!


PHASE STATE

I tell myself I no longer need to re-enter the building behind me in order to look for the new therapy room. Everything is a very elaborate illusion. (Realism: 90% gradually making progress towards 100% as I rub my hands.) It feels like a nighttime environment but I am now in a tunnel and see light at the end. I glide towards the arched opening revealing a daytime, urban environment where I come upon a river—beyond it, near the horizon, I see a pillar-shaped mountain that reaches all the way to the clouds, making for an odd panorama. I struggle to recall the experiment I'm supposed to execute and believe I'm waking when the surroundings fail even though I strenuously rub my hands in order to heighten tactility. I'm in bed, apparently having woken up, and tell my wife I just had a brief lucid dream but failed to remember the experiment. 'Next time!' she says. I look at my hands and they look normal but decide to do a reality test nonetheless by pushing my right index finger through my left palm; the digit goes through my hand at a push! I'm shocked to discover I just had a false awakening and start deepening the phase by rubbing my hands as the realism is now only 35% that of the real world and the bedroom replica got darker since I falsely awoke. I reach for my electric guitar in the corner of the room and realise it is a lot smaller than it's supposed to be when I pick it up. The instrument is still in its case, which I struggle to unzip, so I decide to play it by pressing the strings over the nylon fabric. As I feel the strings through the gigbag, I hear the electric wailing sound of the guitar even though it's unplugged. I start randomly shredding on the fretboard (which is something I struggle with in real life) to produce a surprising classical rock sound in the style of a musical prodigy like Yngwie Malmsteen. My experience is more tactile and auditory than visual at this point. (Realism: 70%) I revel in the elaborate solo I'm producing until the environment fades and the sound peters out.

I believe I have woken up. I get out of bed and walk towards the balcony door to part the curtains and check what the weather is like. It looks dismal outside: the sky is grey and overcast. Beyond the neighborhood, I make out a strange cloud formation. The more I peer at it, the more the sky turns pink and the more a fiery cloud manifests in the shape of a wide column with a cauliflower-like top. That is weird! This mushroom-shaped phenomenon looks like an atomic bomb has gone off! Could it be that I just had another false awakening? My index goes through my palm again, confirming I'm still dreaming and I open the balcony door. (Realism: 100%) I want to play guitar again but the corner of the room where the instrument is supposed to be, to my left, is out of reach. I don't want to waste time so I reach behind the curtain, to my right, expecting to find a guitar there. To my surprise, I find my old V-shaped guitar, which I sold years ago, leaning against the wall. I start playing a melody similar to the first solo in the song 'Master of Puppets' by Metallica. Curiously, each note I play simultaneously causes the now fiery sky to reverberate. I'm awed by the beauty of the sounds and the colours before me and subsequently all my senses fade, leading to wakefulness.


WAKING STATE

It is worth mentioning that I have some experience with music as an amateur piano and guitar but I must say that in the phase I played more confidently and easily reached the level of a virtuoso. This experience won't turn me into a great guitarist overnight, but it has, at least, inspired me greatly.

Date: 22/05/2022
Bedtime: 2am
Awakening: 5.53am
Return to bed: 6.10am
Method of entry: dream consciousness
Attempt: successful
Awakening: 8.15am
DILD: The Guitar Experiment


DREAMING

I'm walking towards a nighttime wilderness in England with my former schoolmate Javed and a Sri Lankan punter from my former days as a bookie; both men are willing to have a friendly fight and I'm the umpire reminding them to play by the rules and that they are not to get seriously injured as they are both family men. We jump over a brick wall and the fight is about to commence when I spot what look like a couple of Kodiak bears approaching from a distance towards the men. Eventually, the ferocious beasts catch up to them and both faint; I hide behind a tree as I believe the would-be fighters are about to be devoured. The animals are not bears at all as I see that they have a larger and quite uncanny presence—they remind me of a cross between a lion and a rhinoceros but overall redolent of the demonic hounds in Ghostbusters. I am petrified and in awe of such creatures which are not officially known to exist. I hear fingers clicking and the beasts freeze next to the unconscious men. Not far, I see Judi Dench (the actress who plays 'M' in 007 films) standing in front of a building that wasn't there before which I take to be a top secret facility. I immediately get the impression that she controls the hellish hounds and, approaching, she snaps her fingers again. Huge mandibles grip the men's limbs and a jerk accompanied by crunch rouses them back to consciousness. I am taken aback by this nifty trick as the men scram in panic. It isn't Javed running alongside the Sri Lankan punter; it is now Bob Hopkins. I furtively get away and encounter my friend Lizzie Bowman in the wilderness who also witnessed Judi Dench's hounds. We run together and there is an impression that we must know where to tread because England is now swarming with lions and there is the added challenge that they move around. It feels like a precarious memory game.


WAKING

I record what I can remember and note potential dream cues such as the social contradiction of Javed and my former customer, stark elements from my past, the unlikely situation of being the referee of an agreed upon fight in the wilderness, seeing celebrities, shapeshifting, impossible monstrous animals and the threat of lions. I also identify schematic associations by my dreaming mind, e.g., the night before I dreamt of a giant Venus flytrap similar to the one in the film Little Shop of Horrors which happens to star Rick Moranis who is also in Ghostbusters. I return to bed with the intention to enter the phase state and fall asleep.


DREAMING

Me and a group of people are sat around a table. It is my understanding that this is a therapy group session and it is peculiar that every male—myself included—is topless and we have to present the females with instances of child abuse and domestic violence. A male psychotherapist interrupts the session to announce that there's been a mix-up and some of us are in the wrong group—I happen to me one of the misplaced ones. I am invited to leave the room for a break before embarking upon finding the right room. One side of the room is missing a wall and I use this wide gap to jump down to a dark underground sewage system resembling one I encountered under a bridge in a recent lucid dream. This is somewhat familiar! What am I doing here? I'm dreaming!


LUCID DREAMING

I tell myself I no longer need to re-enter the building behind me in order to look for the new therapy room. Everything is a very elaborate illusion. (Realism: 90% gradually making progress towards 100% as I rub my hands.) It feels like a nighttime environment but I am now in a tunnel and I see light at the end. I glide towards the arched opening revealing a daytime, urban environment where I come upon a river—beyond it, near the horizon, I see a pillar-shaped mountain that reaches all the way to the clouds, making for an odd panorama. I struggle to recall the experiment I'm supposed to execute and believe I'm waking when the surroundings fade even though I strenuously rub my hands in order to heighten tactility.


FALSE AWAKENING

I'm in bed, apparently having woken up, and tell my wife that I just had a brief lucid dream but failed to remember the experiment. 'Next time!' she says. I look at my hands and they look normal but I decide to do a reality test nonetheless by pushing my right index finger through my left palm; the digit goes through my hand at a push!


LUCID DREAMING

I'm shocked to discover I just had a false awakening and start deepening the environment by rubbing my hands as the realism is now only 35% that of the real world and the bedroom replica got darker since I falsely awoke. I reach for my electric guitar in the corner of the room and realise it is a lot smaller than it's supposed to when I pick it up. The instrument is still in its case, which I struggle to unzip, so I decide to play it by pressing the strings over the nylon fabric. As I feel the strings through the gigbag, I hear the electric wailing sound of the guitar even though it's unplugged. I start randomly shredding on the fretboard (which is something I struggle with in real life) to produce a surprising classical rock sound in the style of a musical prodigy like Yngwie Malmsteen. My experience is more tactile and auditory than visual at this point. (Realism: 70%) I revel in the elaborate solo I'm producing until the environment fades and the sound peters out.


FALSE AWAKENING

I believe I have woken up. I get out of bed and walk towards the balcony door to part the curtains and check what the whether is like. It looks dismal outside: the sky is grey and overcast. Beyond the neighborhood, I make out a strange cloud formation. The more I peer at it, the more the sky turns pink and the more a fiery cloud manifests in the shape of a wide column with a cauliflower-like top. That is weird! This mushroom-shaped phenomenon looks like an atomic bomb has gone off! Could it be that I just had another false awakening?


LUCID DREAMING

My index goes through my palm again, confirming that I am still dreaming and I open the balcony door. (Realism: 100%) I want to play guitar again but the corner of the room where the instrument is supposed to be, to my left, is too far from me. I don't want to waste time so I reach behind the curtain to my right expecting to find a guitar there. To my surprise, I find my old V-shaped guitar, which I sold years ago, leaning against the wall. I start playing a melody similar to the first solo in the song 'Master of Puppets' by Metallica. Curiously, each note I play simultaneously causes the now fiery sky to reverberate. I'm awed by the beauty of the sounds and the colours before me before all my senses fade and I wake up for real.


WAKING STATE

It is worth mentioning that I have some experience with music as an amateur piano and guitar but I must say that in the lucid dream I played more confidently and easily reached the level of a virtuoso. This experience won't turn me into a great guitarist overnight, but it has, at least, inspired me greatly.

Boat on a Stormy Sea

I’m at an event taking place in a large, white tent, with people sitting at long tables in rows. I can’t remember the earlier part of the dream any longer, but at some point, a man on some sort of machine, kind of like a large tractor/open tank, bursts in and starts threatening people while riding up and down the aisles. He doesn’t actually seem to be trying to hurt anyone – yet – but it’s clearly a dangerous situation, so I head off to prepare properly before taking care of it.

I go some distance away to a much smaller tent, where my own things are, and start by tying my hair back since that thing has exposed moving parts on it, and I want to be able to get close to it without having my neck snapped. While I’m getting ready, I plan, although I don’t think this will be very complicated. I figure I’ll just jump on and start messing with levers. But I’ll want to take out his grapply thingies first so he can’t just move them back.

When I’m done, I go back a different way, past some fairly large buildings. The area is reminiscent of a university campus, and life seems to be going on normally here. A woman holding a number of small cards approaches me, wanting me to draw one. I do, knowing that she’s trying to help in some way. The cards are made of cardboard and are of varying sizes, as if they’re from multiple decks. I draw one which turns out to have a picture showing a boat on a stormy sea.* There’s accompanying text – I’m aware of having to focus more than usual in order to not instantly forget it (although, unfortunately, I did forget it between then and awakening). I take this as a positive sign. It also somehow suggests to me that it might be a good idea to see if I can get some of the other people in the tent to help out regarding the grapply things.

* Note: this is the symbol for chords with dominant function in the app I use to practice improvising, which is something I was doing the night before this dream.

13.5.22



Cemetery Campsite

I seem to be camping in a cemetery. Another tent is staked a few plots down – a mother and a young boy, who's three-ish, are staying there. I wonder whether I should tell them they’re camped on one of the graves that’s supposed to be haunted.

We eventually do meet up somehow, and I show them the way to a local bank at her request. She meets with a couple of her relatives there, including an older woman who reminds me of somebody I know, who is looking after the child (who I now know is called Eliot) while she does something there. Eliot suddenly runs out of the building, and the woman follows, chasing him. I think she may need some help though, and so I wait around the opposite corner of the building and catch Eliot as he rounds it. He immediately starts crying.

Sometime after that – back at the campsite – the woman has given me a bone with some meat on it to cook over a small fire. However, as I hold it over the flame, I notice there’s hardly any meat there at all – just a couple little scraps.

Upon awakening, I also remembered a piano ostinato playing – not as a background of the dream, but as if it had somehow been going through my mind at the same time, apart from it. I didn’t check the pitches soon enough after the dream to be able to put it in a definite key, but this is what it sounded like:



-15.5.22


Lots of interesting dreams lately. I'm not going to copy them all here, but highlights include:

-Preparing for a chess match against a guy who likes to send his bishop in for a sacrifice on the f-pawn early in the game. I find this annoying and intend to make sure, through my own choice of moves, that this is not going to be an appealing option for him.

-Lots of hostels and hotels.

-Attending a concert on a campus but leaving after my rowdy friends got kicked out since it’s not really worth being there without them.

-A lucid dream mostly consisting of talking to people and exploring.

Attached Thumbnails

 

Spent a lot of time in my PR home last night. It’s frozen in time and I love it.

I then traveled to the future, before an apocalypse that was coming I noticed Arthur was still on the air. That kids show from the 90s was like the longest running TV show. So, I turned on an episode and… it was bad.
It was unbelievably bad... Instead of having a round head, Arthur had like the chipmunk shaped head. Instead of human eyes, the characters all had animal eyes, but they were enlarged to fit the cartoon animal face.
Picture large beady black orbs slightly jutting out of the face with flimsy tacked-on human eyebrows.
But they had human mouths…. And teeth.
It was hyper realistic, but 2D not 3D. You could see every hair, but smooth areas like the teeth had no detail.

Back to business though. I waited through the apocalypse, which wiped out most of humanity. The few people still surviving didn’t know what happened, which is why I was there. I told them what caused the world to end—so that history can be recorded. I warned them to remember and pass it along so their descendants don’t make the same mistakes generations down the line.

I haven't posted in a while since I've been forgetting a lot of my dreams. Here is a recent dream fragment I had.

I was in one of those awful Native American "gift shop towns", those places tourists go to buy stuff that spits in the face of indigenous cultures you know? I'm pretty sure this one was Cherokee. There was a building that was really tall, like a waterslide looking thing, where there was a line of people waiting to get "air cleansed". It turns out this air cleansing was just hooking a car exhaust up to the room and slowly letting you die. Something else happened that I don't remember and was definitely nowhere near as interesting. They should put those in the towns in the waking world.

It all started with me doing something that I knew I couldn't do in real life
or so the sense of limitlessness was the main hint for me

So when I came to, I tried my usual routine of trying to stabilize
I was at home ofc, and it didn't work, the dream started to fall apart, the usual "fog" started to take over
That's when it randomly came, Instead of tactile I focused on visuals, the colors and the detail around me
And it all came back
and for the first time in my dream-life , I left my house
And it tried to fall apart 2 or 3 times until I got to the streets but I did the same again, and it worked
after that things got blurry for me for a minute or a half, and somehow I was at a meat factory that was supposedly in the next street
I met my old friend there, he was working there, and he was younger now, looked totally different than irl, more like when we were in high school
I was like "man , this is a dream ,this is not real, stop for a moment look at me, this is a dream", he was kinda suprised and a bit annoyed, as if I'm hallucinating or something
then we went out, I observed the streets , it was night, the sun was about to rise, but the stars were still shining bright, I looked at the cars passing by, it was kind of vivid.
That's when I woke up, after 4-5 minutes of time I bought with this trick, the fog now took over, and I felt that I have to wake up now.



note: potential discovery is that focusing on the visuals around you might stabilize dreams or bring it,and yourself back from the waking process
although I can't tell if that was a full dream or a very late morning hypnagogic session, it was over 10 am so I can't tell if it would work in a mid REM dream the same way
also somehow I just can't seem to find the ideal time to try lucid dreaming, in teh morning, whether I wake up at 4-5-6 am, I'm just always unable to go back to sleep if I dont completely let go of myself

Jamie

Just a dream where jamie is saying, " I'll always be there for you." Can't tell if she was telling me this or someone else... no context.

lucid?

I was lucid in a strange room. There was a circular walkway with glass like windows. Decided to teleport through the windows. I pushed my hands on the glass until it flt wstery and i kind of pushed myself through. On he other side I ws walking down a road. Lots of Elk And Moose were in this area. Two blonde women I seemed to know were behind me.

Melissa and I are meeting Brooke somewhere. It’s late, 11pm exactly. The place is a bar like Flowing Tide. It has the two divided sides, but then there’s a curtain we go past into another portion. I never knew this section was here. I start looking at the drink menu, which has a ton of beer options. I don’t know what to get. Also, I think we were at a house (probably Brooke’s aunt’s) earlier or after this?



I am bouldering at Basecamp. It feels good and fairly easy. The problems are designated by colored holds, which the walls are crowded with. I try one with a bunch of crimps. I then try something in the cave. I notice people watching from the perimeter of the mat.

There’s something about me driving to a bar or something similar to meet Alex. The place is kind of far and it seems late, but I think it’ll mean a lot to him because it’s the last time I’ll get to do something with him. There’s an image of the place in my mind - a bland exterior in what looks like a bland shopping center. Now, I’m with him and his mom in a house. Her hair is completely shaved on the sides and the top portion is pulled back in a tight ponytail. She’s holding something and Alex says it’s more than he brought to Maryland, implying that it’s a weapon.