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Morning of January 20, 2019. Sunday.

Dream #: 19,025-03. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



My conscious self identity is absent. I am unsure of my implied age, but I am back in Cubitis where I have not lived since 1978. I remain in my bedroom. It seems to be late morning.

A gray military jet flies over the house from north to south. Its flight path is so low that I can see the details of its underside. However, my viewing of it would not have been possible in reality, as I would not have been able to see its path above the roof of the carport let alone through the north windows of my room from a distance. (Only orange trees and not much sky would have been visible.) There is likely the common but indirect x-ray vision perception in dream space. For a short time, there is also the vague awareness of windows to the south (a fictitious feature). This event happens a second time. I have no recall of my parents or their passing or my current life.

Later, I look out the west windows. There are several random vehicles parked north of the house, moved from their original locations, possibly because of roadwork and perhaps the construction of commercial buildings. (The area is more like part of a city rather than being rural as it was in real life.) The work seems to be occurring quickly, because when I look out the window again, our front yard has a line of vehicles oriented from northwest to southeast, ending close to where the windows of the southwest bedroom would have been. It is ridiculously intrusive, but I do not feel stress.

The first vehicle (closest to Highway Seventeen) is a white semi-trailer truck with its trailer, facing away from the house.

A blue USA mail van is one of the vehicles closest to the house (though the closest one remains unseen), facing towards it. There are several other vehicles, mostly commercial, though there is a dune buggy near the mail van as well as a cement mixing truck. I notice that the front yard is completely paved over (as with a parking lot) rather than being a lawn. Although this seems curious and unfamiliar, I do not question anything. I anticipate that the trucks will probably soon no longer be present. In a short time, the work will continue south, and the front yard will likely be lawn again as well.

---

Vestibular system correlation is not inherited here but projected, as my infra-self remains passive. The jet flies over my bedroom twice, but the process does not match my illusory state of awareness, resulting in the manifestation of enigmatic space rendering as a parking lot, displaying how my physical body does not move as I sleep.

The mail van is possibly a factor of the interconsciousness, yet may also only (or additionally) represent communication between my dream self and conscious self identity as showing me my body is “parked” in bed. (I am in bed in my dream looking out my windows.)

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Morning of January 20, 2019. Sunday.

Dream #: 19,025-02. Reading time (optimized): 1 min.



I find myself with a magazine. I am looking at a two-page spread that features Marvel trading cards in what may be a 5 x 5 layout on each page. (The size orientation varies. At one point, the imagery seems miniature.)

Zsuzsanna is with me. The location is unfamiliar but implied to be our present home.

After looking at the pages, I briefly watch a scene from a movie on television. Tigra appears. There is a distortion, and now there is a female character who seems to be implied to be in a costume with snow leopard attributes.

While again looking at the pages, I feel their surface, suspecting that a real card may be over the image of one and “hidden,” blending in with the layout. I discover that there is a card taped over an image. (They do not match.) It is in the middle of the top row on the left-hand page. It is taped only at the top, facing down.

I carefully peel the top of the trading card from the adhesive tape. I do not want to tear the surface.

Before I see its number, Zsuzsanna informs me that card number 17 is the only one we are missing. The new card turns out to be number 17.

---

My dream self (in subliminal space, in so-called non-lucid mode) exhibits control by creating something “real” out of an image based on expectation. That happens often. People who promote that lucidity is a requirement for dream control have no credibility.

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I stayed up late last night, wandering outside in the snowstorm capturing video. I usually have a tough time remembering my dreams when I stay up particularly late. I woke up with the sensation that I had a very interesting and vivid dream, but can't for the life of my remember any of it. I only remember this one:

I dreamed of walking on a boardwalk, a dream area I've been before. I found a super sized claw machine and played a couple games. I watched the claw drop onto a plastic orb looking thing and weakly close around it, letting the orb slip right through. It was as to be expected. Claw machines are ripoffs.


When I become lucid, my go-to has usually been to practice dream control. Walking on water, flying, doing something fantastic I would never be able to do in waking life. Last night I made it a goal to, instead, practice increasing my level of lucidity and the overall clarity and length of the dream.

I am outside, at what seems to be a beach, with Melissa, Brooke, and possibly Breezy. It is dark out, and there seems to be some sort of smaller event going on. There are some tables and bar counters, etc. I break off from them to go buy some shots, unannounced. I’m not really sure what to go; after talking to the bartender, I end up with two shots of ‘something fruity’. I can smell it, and it is fruity. I take them back to give to Melissa, but Brooke grabs them and takes them both at the same time. I’m now in a different area. There’s a nicely dressed guy here buying a bottle of something. I’m worried about money, but then remind myself to live a little. A bottle of fine German Riesling for only $126, he remarks, as if that’s a steal. I agree, but then start to think I’ve seen that for less.

I am in some house’s fairly small kitchen. There are a few others here. There is a tablet on the white tile counter; it’s playing the same show that’s on the TV (not coincidentally, but rather as if the tablet is streaming to the TV). A middle aged man wants to change what’s on the TV. The show will still play on the tablet though, so that’s fine with me. Sara is now offering me red wine. I think her and another girl already have a glass. I think Sara finishes a glass and pours more, not remembering she already had one or something like that. I think I finish a glass as well. She gives me more wine now, but this ‘wine’ is in a frozen yogurt bowl and has the consistency of gelato. I eat it with a spoon, and it’s quite good. It’s huckleberry pink in color. I see the container it comes in - one of those four packs of mini wine bottles. I imagine Sara at a store buying them. I am now in the backyard of this house. Dad and Makayla are out here (it looks a lot like our old house’s backyard). We’re setting up short A-frame nets with openings in the top that one tries to throw a disc through. We set them not too far apart. I toss the disc a few times. Makayla is standing pretty much right in front of the net, which stresses me out a little.



I am at a library? picking up some records. They look used but still nice. A Dio record is on top, and the rest are metal as well. I’m pretty excited about them. Ian is here; we talk. It’s nice enough, but he’s still too opinionated for me.

I am somewhere outside (Hawaii?), walking down the sidewalk along a small two way street. There are storefronts and shops all close together (reminiscent of Virginia City or maybe even Lahaina). I have a kid with me whom I am watching (Adrian?). I think Melissa is with me too. I think we’re looking for ice cream, so I’m not sure why we’ve just passed an ice cream shop. We may be looking for another option. This shop has a large open window type front, but the opening is filled with shelves. The wood shelves hold little tiki containers of ice cream. I think there are also other shapes, like coconuts. One of the tikis has a Stealie etched and colored into it. I see a few different types of chocolate with different names. We continue on, and on the other side of the street there is a fairly large and simple stage in the shade. We’re passing by it, and I start nodding my head to the music. I notice that the rhythm guitar player is playing the smoke on the water riff over this band’s song. Now Sage is here for a second? She says that Deep Purple only knows how to play fast (as if they wouldn’t know how to play slow). I jokingly ask her if she’s ever seen a Deep Purple acoustic album, then say no because they couldn’t make one or something. Now, Melissa, the boy, and I have reached a stretch of beach that ends in a calm body of water. I have my arm over the kid’s shoulders, in a fatherly sort of way. He is bigger than a toddler, probably closer to 5 or 6. I don’t think he is Adrian anymore. The kid feels like a family friend or someone close enough to where I can casually put my arm over him. I jokingly say something about Melissa and him getting in the water (like it’s going to be really cold). I let them go ahead, and they actually do get in the water. I didn’t think they would, but now I have to follow. I step in with my bare feet and find out that it’s really not that cold. I’m wearing shorts and a tie dye? tank top. I see a thick, white worm or caterpillar with a ribbed body clinging to some debris right under the surface. I then see another. They’re slightly gross. I now submerge myself, and we all swim for a bit. There is a playground structure rising out of the water; we all climb onto it. From up here, I see a cop car parked under some trees a ways off (it is dark out). I think he puts his lights on, but he start coming over here. He watches us, but I think he can’t get over here because of the water. I tell Melissa not to talk to the police. I also imagine talking to him and telling him I have the right to remain silent and not answer questions. Now when I look around it seems to be daylight, there is ground (with wood chips) under the structure, and quite a few other kids here, playing. Keegan’s mom is now up here, on top of a slide. She is worried about the police being here. She’s worried about her son (who is now Adrian again - I see him playing with other kids down below) and thinks it’s because he’s left alone or too alone. I look down at him, and he puts on a face like this is actually true, which irritates me because the exact opposite is true. I’m just about to tell her that I’ve actually been with him all day, but she slides down the slide.



I am with Dad, Makayla, and Lily at Dad’s? house. I’m talking to them about something. I now have Lily lay down: I'm going to give her a guided meditation (for OBE?). I was going to have her lay on her back, but she lays on her side and says it’s comfortable enough. I think that it’ll still work.



I am sport climbing with another guy. It must be a multi-pitch, as we’re currently anchored next to each other up here. It also must only be the first pitch, as it’s not too high up. The rock is a dark and fairly coarse granite. There is something about the possibility of a hold breaking? I get to thinking about it and think that a whole slab of the face could fall off. I’m sketched out about this, and I’m glad I’m not the first person that had to climb this. I think the other guy wants to fall?

Two dreams.

I was in a very large group home for people my age. I wasn't sure what it was for, but it was massive and all on one level. The floorplan was like this: there was a center, wide hallway that was more like a living/lounge space full of couches and coffee tables. On either side, on the other side of a wall, a large extensive bathrooms/locker rooms stretched parallel. The right side was for guys and the left for ladies. (bath/locker rooms are a really common dream sign).

I had a pet garter snake who had wiggled its way from my hands and escaped. I was running around frantically, crawling on my hands and knees, peering under furniture, sticking my head into the bathrooms, but I lost all track of my pet. I was about to give up as the dream ended.

__


The beginning of this one is a bit fuzzy. I remember walking down a dirt road or path surrounded by tall trees and deep green ivy. I walked with one or two other people, female. There was some sense of an apparition that floated above a wooden sign covered in vines. It was almost like just as I looked to focus on it, the ghost vanished entirely. I turned and began running off the road and into the woods. I soon came out on the other side to see a white, two story house and garage sitting on a wide and perfectly flat plateau. No lights were on and it seemed vacant. The sparse grass held an orange-ish glow that seemed to mirror the fiery sun setting in the sky. I walked out onto the plateau and was awe struck by the scene in front of me. The plateau gave way to a sheer cliff that dropped down into a deep and lush valley. The valley stretched for miles before extending up into a mountain range that cut through the horizon.

I was on the verge of lucidity, I could feel it. I was so captivated. My thoughts sped up. I began questioning everything I was experiencing. The dream ended before I could get much further. I feel if it had lasted longer, I would have broken into lucidity easily.

Morning of January 19, 2019. Saturday.

Dream #: 19,024-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



Many years of viable memory dissolve in my conscious self’s annihilation in the dream state as access to my unconscious mind is blocked by the preconscious to allow for rejuvenation in sleep. However, in eventually entering REM sleep, I do recall Zsuzsanna and her essence, though my dream implies we had not yet met (even though we have been married for over 20 years in reality).

There is a backstory that we are to meet and possibly marry in North Korea. For a time, I am confused. Maybe it is meant to be South Korea. However, the main focus is on North Korea, and the map seems to imply an area near Singye County.

Throughout my dream, I remain hesitant about going to North Korea. There are thoughts based on distortions of content from the American drama series “Colony” that we watched last night (though my dream self does not perceive the legitimate source), the second two episodes of the first season (“A Brave New World,” and “98 Seconds”).

In my dream, I live in America, although there is no further definition of what region. I do not recall or consider the existence of Australia or that I have lived here for over 20 years, and I do not perceive Zsuzsanna as a lifetime resident of Australia.

It seems that many tourists visit North Korea without problems, but there are rules. I read brochures about how tourists are expected to act.

Eventually, I enter the [inherited non-linear vestibular system correlation] process of this dream. I board an airplane (a supposed jet airliner), though the layout is more like a bus, where the pilot, an unfamiliar man of about 30, sits in front of me. There are vivid and pleasant sensations of movement as the airplane taxis down the runway and rises into the afternoon sky. The pilot seems cheerful and confident.

To my right, across the aisle and also at the front are two unfamiliar women in their thirties who start talking about misadventures with cockroaches. The pilot patiently asks them to stop talking, saying that it is breaking his concentration, though there is no feeling of imminent danger. I slowly and softly wake from this point. There is a stage where I hear his voice and feel the imaginary movements of the airplane, but there is no imagery.

---

The pilot is the vestibular system simulacrum. The unknown females are factors of the interconsciousness. While the raw preconscious (and sometimes the interconsciousness) often dominates or “intrudes,” it does not typically do so in this type of process because I am closer to the subliminal anticipation of consciousness reinitiation and willing to re-establish the legitimate physicality of waking life. In some instances, the vestibular system avatar works against the dreamer, including when interconsciousness threads are present, while in other cases it works against interconsciousness threads as it does here. The determining cause seems to be ultradian rhythm as well as the incidental level of passivity in contrast to any willful intent of unhealthily sustaining sleep.

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Details are fuzzy but we had bought a house in a dying hick town somewhere isolated with a midwestern feeling. I switched back and forth from the perspective of a teenager growing up in the house and myself who is married to my husband. Dream logic is amazing, you can be two perspectives at once, switching seemlessly like a quark between dimensions and it is the most natural thing in the world. Sometimes I think we are dream people and being human is our unnatural state, it is more limiting than our dream state. Back to the dream. When I was teenager me I met a neighbor boy who I felt an attraction but he had a huge growth on his chest that was infected. He matter of factly told me it was cancer. I believe this is a direct comment from my subconscious about a growth I have on my own chest that has been dismissed as nothing to worry about. I will be getting a second opinion. We were all out hanging out and we saw three small colorful lights in the sky and watched them break into five lights that fanned out and zoomed towards the horizon. We remarked maybe it was aliens? A few minutes later there was a sound of a huge explosion coming from where they had fallen. Then missiles began rising out of hidden silos in the ground and lifting off. My first thought was, oh my god the president has pissed off someone while we were sleeping and started a war. We’ve been bombed. We are in a dangerous place because they will bomb here trying to takeout our military. I switched perspective and was now an adult married to my husband. I ran to be near him, I heard him try to calm a teenagers fear by telling him that “ it’s okay, we will kick their butts.” I woke up before I could process anything more.

This is the beginning of our new dream journal.

The dream started in my home but the kitchen stove and cabinet was in a different spot.

I was standing in the living-room looking into the kitchen. I noticed the stove light was on and slowly looked up above the stove at the cabinet which was closed. I heard a baby sound and looked to my right and there laid an infant baby girl on the floor. I said "This is my baby!" I picked up the baby and looked back into the kitchen. This time the cabinet above the stove was open and full of food. What stood out was the box of Cheerios. I knew there was a ghost in my home because I was home alone. I turned around and ran out the front door while yelling this is my baby! When I got outside I looked down and all I had was a blanket. An overwhelming feeling of anger and determination came over me at which time I looked back through the front door.

The baby was still in the same spot happy, laughing, and her arms was out like she wanted me to pick her up. I ran back inside and glanced at the kitchen. The cabinet above the stove was still wide open and the stove light was even brighter. I yelled again with pure rage of passion "This is my baby!!!!" So I picked up the baby again while saying "Come here sweetie" with a smile on my face then I looked into the kitchen at the open cabinet full of food for one last time . I yelled with everything I got "This is my baby!!!" then ran out the door with my baby still in my arms. I woke up saying I got the message.

Note: I talk in my sleep. I can hold hours of conversation while looking at you in my sleep but I never sit up. So from time to time I wake up talking but have no memory of what I said while sleeping. Funny tidbit though, I'm not a talker in real life.

* I was in some sort of poly-amorous foursome with my partner and a good friend, lets call her Kristy. The guy in the group was some random DC. Nothing really happened, Kristy had teased me but there was no follow through. Didn't think being blue balled in a dream was possible but now I know.

* I was in a war-zone in the middle east. I legit don't remember much past that. I mostly remember feelings and concepts of a war-zone more than the actual dream. Random mention on a cargo plane.

* I remember some guy yelling at me for cutting in line in front of one of his kids at a burger joint. It was dark out and we were making our orders at gas station pumps. His kid had really cut in front of me but the confrontation started to get violent so I just walked away. Cut to a random burger joint server offering me free food.

* One of my friends/coworkers, we'll call her Letty, was in my home town for some reason. She picked me up? All of this is very weird because I live and work a days drive away from my home town. I don't know what our destination was but I remember going under an over-pass and onto a dirt road. I knew all the back roads so I was giving her directions.

I wish I could have remembered more from last night. I know I dreamed intensely, but recall becomes strange when I wake up frequently.

I dreamed of a town that had merged itself with a nearby lake. The crystal clear, blue water filled the streets intentionally. Cars were adapted to float and travel on the surface. The buildings stretched several stories up. In the center was wide open water where waves could grow and rock the surface. This was such an incredibly vivid and surreal scene. I was in a large speedboat. With me I had a child and a kitten. I had to get the kitten into a small cage to make sure it wouldn't go somewhere it shouldn't and get hurt. We had just came from a street and made it out onto open water. I told the child to hold the steering wheel until I could manage the kitten situation. When finished and looked up, a sizeable wave was about to hit us from the side. I quickly grabbed the wheel and whipped the boat around to hit it head on so we wouldn't capsize. Being tossed around in the air like that was kind of fun. To my right I saw an approaching police boat, but they didn't seem too concerned. More curious than anything.

A few snippets of last night's dreamage:

I found work creating custom motorcycles from the ground up. It paid really well, was hard but satisfying work, and the business was really taking off.

I dreamed about being in a cafeteria full of people I knew. I had loaded my tray up with food from the buffet style islands and found a set.

I can't remember what I was doing, but I realized I had forgotten something. Or maybe I had just realized that if I had something in particular, it would make whatever it was I was doing so much better. Carrying my backpack and winter coat, I bolted from the building and ran down the street. I cross railroad tracks just as the crossing gate began closing and the bells started chiming, warning of an impending train on its way. I dodged the gate as it came down right next to my head and glanced down the tracks, seeing a moving train unnervingly close. On the other side, I dropped my coat and bag onto the ground and kept running. I looked back, wondering, worrying if I should have kept these items that I thought were slowing me down.


The translation for the Train Tracks dream is really clear to me. The past two nights I've asked myself a question and have gotten translatable answers from my dreams that have made some sense. I'll keep experimenting and writing down the results.

So in this NON-LUCID dream, I'm a ghost having fun in a shopping market leering and peering at women shopping. I'm floating and skimming around the building looking down shirts and up skirts while gloating to myself that they can't see me. Theirs one large ol' lady that I smirk at while I do a quick 'feel and grope' as I float on my back like a cloud, skimming on my back along the ground.

Grinning to myself I then float upside down, feet up in the air while attempting to kiss this young women on the lips. Just as I was enjoying the phantom kiss...."Mm Mmm MMMMMM", I scream as she looks her lips on mine and kisses back. Kissing her seems to turn me from a Ghost into a human and I tumble to the ground from my ingenious floating position."mhmm yes", I moan as my surprise wanes and I enjoy a good solid kiss from this pretty young women.

We then laugh, joke and chat about something while walking out of the shopping centre.
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In real life, I am on a fairly well known program called "Nofap:Monkmode". It is abstinence from masturbation, pornography etc for the purposes of increasing ones health, energy levels, levels of self control/willpower/discipline, spiritual sensitivity etc etc etc. I aim to transmute the increasing levels of sexual energy I have into my productive day to day goals and activities. Sexual purity is important to me and is something that my ignorant 'dream self' is slow to learn.