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21st January 2021

Dream:

(not the earliest point I can recall in the dream)

I'm in a dark and sooty room at the apex of a pyramid. I don't remember seeing the outside, I just have this knowledge intuitively. There's also a bottomless square pit. The soot is dark brown and seems to have an increased build up the further up it is on the inner apex. I don't know how I'm able to see, there's no light source but things look just bright enough.

There's some kind of machine near the middle of the room. By the looks of it, it should be fixed down to the ground but it isn't. It has a main moving part, a piston or pushrod of some kind. It jerks around out of control indefinitely. I think something but the recall is gone.

The scene changes a bit and a white lady with light curly hair appears? She starts speaking like she's in a documentary, she mentions the machine but then there is a focus on a puppy that appears in the room. The puppy is an integral part of the room, I feel or she explains, and an integral part of whatever purpose the machine is supposed to serve.

She explains that someone has to come and feed the puppy every day, but that otherwise it must always remain her. I touch the dog, it's a gold labrador at first? I say something aloud about it being unfair for the dog, or something.

(recall gap)

In a Japanese town, but it just looks like any town in Britain or the USA, it has more "room" like the latter. I think to myself it's odd that it's a Japanese town. All the people I see around are distant from me and I can't tell what their ethnicity actually is, making me suspect it's not really a Japanese town. But I don't investigate my suspicions further, some kind of dream plot drags me around the town; I'm being chased, or someone else is, and I'm following.

A man, he was being chased. We arrive at a house that's also a restaurant or inn. A pub, effectively? There's a flagpole outside on the garden, I notice the ground is covered in snow. For some reason I fear this man is going to defecate on his own snowy lawn. He doesn't. The flag flying on that pole is one like that for India, I notice. Three horizontal stripes, top to bottom; green, white, red or orange. With a stylised black sun in the middle.

The man invites me inside. Seemingly the chase is up.

(recall gap)

I'm shown some kind of machine. H is with me. The man leaves for a while; he said he'd like us to fix this machine for him. It looks like it's bare, i.e. no aesthetic coverings, etc.

It has some kind of plastic platters. Looks like many random bits off CD players, tape machines, etc. But the size of the parts is different from what it would be in those machines. H tries to adjust something and the large top platters ping off towards the back left side. We are annoyed, but conclude it probably helps us anyway.

(rest of recall is too vague)

---

Notes:

- The machine at the pyramid's apex looked like it was some random thing cobbled together from different bits of wood and maybe some metal. It looked very crude and it was equally crude in behaviour.

- This pyramid's apex felt almost like the mix between a loft and the inside of a regularly used chimney.
-- The room and its contents felt like they had some strong symbolic associations. Could be an interesting place to try doing some dreamwork.

- When I questioned the town's Japanese-ness, my awareness of the dream overall increased but I was instinctively taken by the dream plot before I could really think about it further. I realise now I could have thought about it further while running but I didn't.

20th January 2021

Fragment:

I am at a house much like H's old home. I am playing with W, the cat? He wants to go out but I want to touch his fluffy fur and eventually I do open a back door to the house and let him out. He hesitates and I prod him sort of gently with my boot. It's sunny outside. The grass is what I can only describe as a perfect colour and the back garden slopes uphill. I see someone arriving in a silver car, a woman. I look down but pretend I didn't see her arrive as I close the back door.

She knocks and I reluctantly (?) answer. I have this feeling she just wants to sell something or whatever.

Rest of recall is too fuzzy. But at least two or three separate instances of talking to people or answering the door where they aren't wearing a mask, and neither am I. On each encounter, there's a weird physical tangle, as if they fall forwards onto me, like they've tripped on something and on some level, all of this puts me on edge.

One of those other instances takes place at our current home. Outside looks different but I can't quite place it anymore. It's also day time. A delivery from a truck or lorry? Interactions/dialogue with H at some point.

#548 DILD 4:10AM

I am in Texas at the old place I lived in when dad was pastor at that church. The church looked different; more like a metal building than anything. Some reason I am sleeping on the ground next to it. I kept looking at how the bottom of the wall was just a 2x4 laying flat on the ground. I kept thinking that's not going to last.

Next thing I know I am walking around in a version of the house my wife bought before we got married. I notice that my feet are not hitting the floor. I start focusing on that and quickly realize I can make myself levitate. I am so excited. I gradually gain control of it more and more start quickly floating from room to room. I show off to my wife and son. My son is excited about it but I my wife is it like "That's cool. I'm going to the store." I spend some time floating around and over my son. He's enjoying and playing with me. I follow my wife outside talking about how I now have a superhero power and start thinking how this will change everything. Then it dawns on me this might just be a dream. I do a nose plug and blow through. I am actually disappointed at this point. I stop levitating and walk back in the house. My mom's sister and her husband pull up in the drive way. I am surprised to see them. Uncle keeps complaining about some guy on the highway during their drive. I'm not sure exactly what he's going on about but he keeps calling the guy a "stupid fucker". This is so out of character for him that I start laughing. We walk inside. And I start preparing food at the stove. Everything is so extremely vivid and lifelike that I do another RC. This time I poke my right finger into my left palm. For some reason there is a pill bottle on my finger for a fraction of a second. I note how odd it was but decide to try again. This time my finger morphs all the way through. There is a strange sensation in my hand and I see my finger coming out the back. Really weird. I look back at my uncle who has been watching with disinterest. Now that my attention is back on him, he immediately goes back to calling that guy a stupid fucker. The way he keeps saying it just weird and goofy. I mock him, repeating how he's saying it, and begin laughing again. Finally, just to get him to stop saying that, I ask him what the guy did that was so bad. At that moment I have a dream-shattering thought. Maybe too much awareness? I know that his response will make no sense because nothing really happened. I quickly force that idea away and listen. Uncle says "Weeeell... It's because he..." The dream fades. That thought, still lingering, did me in. Maybe it's for the best since my recall has been shit lately. I wake up.

I'm walking on a big sea with Albin. I don't know if anyone told me but I'm a dragon too. There are some red lightnings and mini thunder storms over the water. I tell Albin that I get a bad feeling from the red lightnings as I fly up in the air, inspecting the lightnings from above. Albin tells me that I need to cross the red lightnings in order to enjoy life. There is a door to a big room with some red lightnings in front of it. Albin invites me but I don't want to go in because of the red lightnings. I decide to go in anyway after some time. There are a bunch of people in there that are dancing traditional fast paced pair dances. I join a girl in my age with dark hair. We dance some kind of dance where you touch hands in the air above your heads and take big steps to the sides, almost jumping. I really enjoy myself. I fly to the roof as the dream transitions to some kind of game where I see different characters' portraits. I see a dragon man that I apparently have a 73 % win rate with.

I'm at some kind of party with my cousins and big family. I am able to fly but only really bad. I see some helium balloons against the roof and figure that if I use them I will be able to fly better. When I take them down they drop down as if they never had helium in them. I talk with Elina and she tries to find a book that she can rip apart in order to give me some wings that I can use to fly better. She finds a book about horses that she wants to rip apart. I ask her if it doesn't belong to anyone. Sara comes in and apparently it's hers. I tell Elina that we can't destroy it. I fly away but not that good. There is some kind of discus competition where people throw things with style in order to collect points.

Yet another dream where I seen to be stuck in my childhood, even in my childhood home. I still can't understand why I don't have dreams about the beautiful new condo I just moved into.

Dad enrolls my younger sister in an after-school program and wants me to take her there. I drive there ahead of time to scope it out, and it turns out to be a day care for kids too young for kindergarten! (For context, my "baby" sister turns 40 this year.) I go home… to my childhood home, that is, and try to explain to Dad why this nursery school is all wrong. I'm standing in the garage, looking out at a snow-covered driveway. I walk out to the driveway and there's a car parked there, but it's not my car. I look back into the two-car garage, where my car appears to be wedged between another car and the garage wall at a 45˚ angle. It can't be car, can it? It's not driveable at the angle. Maybe I left the car at the nursery school. I try to get someone to take me there to look for the car.

I'm in some sort of training centre. I play some racket sport that is similar to tennis and squash. Every time I try to hit the ball I'm worthless. I have almost no power and no accuracy. I played against Gabriel but I go to the bench instead. Albin and André is there. New fragment. I'm in a car with Gabriel. My sister is there and she talks about some kind of roleplaying game and I wish that I could have a better guide. We drop Gabriel off but notice that he forgot his phone in the car. I take it up and inspect it. It is white and the front screen is in good shape and clean. The back is really dirty and worn out. The phone is half touch and half buttons. When I click on the button in the top right corner the password is shown. My sister gasps out loud because she is disappointed in Gabriel's security. New fragment. I'm in our inner yard and about to walk in. I feel a bit off and wonder if it is a dream. I do my RC but it doesn't work at first. I think about how I came here and figure out that I don't remember how I ended up here. I try to lift off and fly away but I can't. I try to climb the big door to the outside but do not succeed at first. I am able to climb it the third time. I am about to jump in order to fly away but the door falls apart and I fall to the ground before lift off. I start to walk to the left and see some people. I see Sweden's king Carl XVI Gustaf walking past a corner. I get a bad feeling and walk a bit faster. I see Ed and he is avoiding me. The king is getting close up on me and I am getting more scared. I start to run and I am able to fly away this time. It's not pleasant since I am flying for my life. Ed comes back to me and I feel his bad intentions. He tells me to follow him. We are closing up on our destination and I hear someone scream. I think that It is a copy of myself that is screaming. When I finally see the scene I'm terrified and start to scream and cry. I see myself holding in a blood covered saw against a copy of a defenseless Ed kneeling down in front of the copy of me and holding his arms against the copy of me, trying to protect himself.

I’m in a green hilly area dotted with groves of trees, alongside a group of people. It seems like we’re all traveling somewhere together and have been in this general area for several days.

Nearby is an enormous skeleton horse with leathery wings. I think it’s cute and have been making friends with it. (My waking-life sense of what is cute is pretty broad by most people’s standards, and it seems to be even broader in dreams.) The horse is really enormous: it has its head down at my level, and it would probably be big enough to inhale me if it breathed (which seems unlikely to happen).

Now it wants to give me a ride: it lies down, leaning to one side so I can get on. I seat myself in the ridge between two of its vertebrae. This part of it, like the wings but unlike the head and neck, is still covered in skin, which is dry and stiff, rather like a drum skin in feel and color. It takes off, and we fly around the area for a little while.

When it lands again and lets me down, I rejoin the group, which has been occupied with something else up until now. Before long, though, as we leave the area on the next phase of the journey, I take to the air again, on my own this time. I have one eye on the rest of the group and the other on the road ahead as they walk towards a pass through taller hills.

28.12.20 [I’ve been meaning to post this for a while….]

Jamie

Another fraction of a fragment. It was a memory dream, very rarely get them. It has something to do with Jamie, Felt we were both dreaming it.

Bitch 1

Just a dream of being at work and some girl I know from work who rarely ever talks to me was getting mad at me for stupid reasons and complaining about me.

Bitch 2

2 Days later similar dream. I'm in the break room but the layout is different. The girl is sitting at a table. She mentions my name. And starts complaining about my work again. I notice she isn't looking at me directly indicating guilt, like she's deliberately trying to be mean, for the hell of it. I say, "first off, look at me directly if you ar going to accuse me of such thing..." I forget the rest of the rant but I was getting pretty angry. She got pissed up and left the table and was leaving the room at how Angry I was. I was like, hell no, you gotta problem were going to discuss this with a manager right now blah blah blah.

Jamie 2.

It was in calgary and I ran into jamie, but she was hanging around my brother (really, Thought that was 2018 ish dreams). But she wouldn't talk to me. So i took off and went to visit my mother. I was on the c train and got off on a nearby stop. My brother pulled up in a truck and she was trying to get me to go with him.

Good jamie dreams 1 week, Bad jamie dreams the next. Same pattern for 2 years or more now. What else is new? And to what end?

I'm in a dark place and a skeleton with a scythe comes in. He starts to run after me and stabs me.

I'm in the air with a parachute and I'm about to land in the water. There are a bunch of jellyfish that sting me as I go in the water.

01/16: I believe the dream this time was a continuation from the "teenage girl trying to be Hayley Williams of Paramore" dream from three days earlier on the 13th.

However, this time, I found myself in the living room of a beautiful house with a beautiful view of the neighborhood underneath a sunny/partly cloudy day a flat-screen HDTV with something recorded via a digital video recorder, or DVR, for short. On the TV screen playing through the DVR I see what appears to be a professional wrestling ring with red ropes, and a wrestler with seemingly strange attire taunting the crowd and holding in one of their hands what appears to resemble a championship belt, probably belonging to World Wrestling Entertainment, or WWE, for short; the champion dressed eerily similar to 1-time WWE Champion Jeff Hardy back in the days of the revered Attitude (1997-2002) Era, but all I could see was a flash of dyed blood red hair, but the person wearing his in-ring attire (oversized colored short-sleeved shirt, baggy pants, wristbands made from women's pantyhose, etc.) from 1998-99 (during the "New Brood" days) to at least 2002 was smaller than he is (he's 6'1"), and more than likely female.

The rest of the dream made no sense, as a fake program on Netflix was shown with a cast of teenagers in what appeared to be an action-packed series in another room in the house, the setting still being daytime.

I am no stranger to Jeff Hardy-like characters in dreams that dress unusually, as I've had dreams like that since 2001 (age 15), and the last one I had was twelve years ago back in 2009 (age 23).

I am also no stranger to dreams taking place inside houses, as I remember having one as early as 1995 where I heard these electronic toy sounds, and then I walked into a room and saw what appeared to be a toy rabbit chomping on a floor, Pac-Man-style. When I went to tell my mom about it before going to school, she hilariously made a reference to Sonic the Hedgehog 3 (& Knuckles)'s Special Stages where you had to collect all the blue spheres to get a Chaos Emerald. I remember another one from early 2004 where the TV was on, probably on MTV as a music video was playing as well.

If this was trying to show me an idea for YA/teen lit, I understand. Once again, I don't mind having these dreams.

-WM86/DFW

I'm fighting a man in his forties in our house by between the food room and the hallway. I have the upper hand and let him go away but he immediately surprise attacks me. I manage to hold him off.

Our old foster child D is crawling under the table and I know that he has bad intentions and wants to beg my dad to adopt him or something. I walk over him and pushes him away with my foot.

17th January 2021

In bed, at about 3 AM whilst trying to fall asleep. During the whole thing I noticed my heart rate was higher than it would normally be at rest. Dialogue as close to original as I can recall and notes are in-line and unbracketed.

Not a dream and conscious with my eyes closed:

I start to think about wanting to be lucid and then wanting to look for the black lizard.

I hear the voice of Data and find myself seeing I'm on the bridge of the Enterprise, the one that's his contemporary. It's a bit clear at first visually. I have encountered Data other times in my head recently. For some reason he seems to encourage my conscious control and mastery of the sub-conscious and wishes to serve me.

Data: "Hello, may I call you captain?"

Me: "Hello. Yes, you may."

Data: "Will you accompany me to the turbolift sir?"

Me: "Yes, why?"

I find my own voice comes out naturally as if it was Picard's; I eventually try to alter this but with little success. Whenever Data speaks, half of it feels like it's being controlled by me, resulting in strange dialogue, but otherwise it feels detached from my ego.

Data: "I'd like to show you to the bridge; the battle bridge; no, the dream bridge."

Me: "The dream bridge?"

The visuals are muddy and too much like as seen in the show for my liking and I try to taste the walls, I try to feel where I'm walking and touching the railings and so on. It doesn't improve the visuals, but there is a feel of being in the place. We get on the turbolift and then find ourselves on a similar version of the bridge we were just in but it has a different feel. I see the large screen and the unmanned bridge.

Data: "Yes sir. The dream bridge will allow you dream control if you so desire."

Me: "How does it work?"

Data: "It allows you to scroll; view, pre-view, select, choose and so on. As in your childhood sir, it works the same way."

I understand what Data is referring to as being my pre-sleep lucid experiences from when I was much younger but this is somewhat different, more elaborate. I have an intuitive feel of how it's going to work but don't fully understand and the unclear visuals make it difficult to manipulate anything. I sit on a version of the captain's chair on this bridge. I feel the chair, just. There is some kind of controllable trackball I instinctively conjure on the right arm of the chair. I try to use and feel it for scrolling.

Me: "If I have any further questions, I will call on you, that will do for now. Goodbye Mr. Data."

Data says goodbye politely and I lose awareness of his presence as if he is completely gone. I try and use what's available to try to look through potential dreams. It doesn't work very well or as I expect. But one scene does pre-view better on the large screen, a M/M themed scene that plays itself out. But from there I don't know how to progress. I try to visualise more but it doesn't really work and visuals in general remained poor or unclear.

The rest of the dialogue recall is too vague now, and I recall calling out to Data a couple of times and he would appear every single time I called him, and disappear whenever we said goodbye to each other. The computer would talk to me as well if I started a sentence by saying "Computer," but for the most part it was useless, probably because of how in the show I perceive the ship's computer as having no intelligence, a feature that Data, even as a character in my head, exhibits very well.

I have found the experience to be somewhat odd; although a lizard character has tried to (aggressively) promote my ego's control and confidence, Data as a character is seemingly trying to promote control and mastery but in a very loose and passive way, allowing me to explore at my own pace for the most part and actively trying to teach me things. I think what has surprised me is the fact that these characters are not at the ego level but they are promoting it and basically siding with the ego.

Data seemingly has loyalty for me as he would indeed for the captain on the Enterprise. For a couple of nights now I have thought about trying to remember what those pre-sleep experiences from my childhood felt like, so this whole thing has felt like a following of that and the theme may be because we've been watching the show again, although this was unexpected.

The rest of the recall is lost but I was awake for a while longer after this.

15th January 2021

Dream:

I am delivering a Borderlands mission. The UI is like BL1 but I'm not actually in one of the games from the series. I can choose between two legendary rewards. One is a sniper and the other a grenade launcher. I check for some kind of extra stats which are supposed to appear in blue; the grenade launchers' tooltip is greatly expanded and there's something about it having a unique ability which allows summoning one of five vehicles of choice.

I'm what looks like either a warehouse district or an airbase/military base. Mom and dad are here and some other people I don't recall, too. H is nearby?

Anyway, I decide to summon one of the vehicles. It's a very Metal Slug-esque tank and it has a somewhat shiny panelling, either red or grey.

Skipping ahead a bit. In an abandoned, disused or ruined area. I go through some dark tunnel and fighting stuff happens. Then an interaction with some character makes me reveal that it had been some kind of theme park, long ago (I surprise myself?).

There is what looks like giant heads of an extremely realistic-looking horse and a canid of some sort. Their mouths or lips move about, but as if swaying with no control. I think about it a little bit and conclude it's the wind. We are near the coast. It's sunny but sunset-like and looks like a scene off DSII; the lips of the animal heads look ripped, like they're made of leather or some kind of heavy duty material chosen to be close enough to real textures.

I think some part of me thinks about drawing.

Superman's mom lives in a fancy Park Avenue apartment and is hosting a bunch of girls, including me, for an overnight stay. It has something to do with the scouts and it's required. I don't mind, because the old lady gives out used bits of designer clothing if you impress her. Apparently she gave me a sweatshirt last year. This time, I manage to impress her by demonstrating how to put together baby bottles with drop-in liners. My coworker Angie is sitting next to me and she's grumbling that "this is b---s--- that I have to spend time away from my kids" as Superman's mom is talking. I'm only half-listening to Angie because Superman lives with 4 different women and has kids with each, and I want gossip. I do have a vague sense of disappointment that we're talking DC characters and not Marvel.

Massive missed opportunity for the Task of the Year if Superman's mom is handing out clothing!

1/13: The dream I had was one of the more colorful ones I've had in a while, continuing the trend of dreams trying to show me ideas for my writing YA/teen lit since winter 2011-spring 2012. This has been the trend since a dream I had on September 6, 2019 where some recurring dream characters over the years started to become younger and colorful, like a few dreams I had between 2012 and 2016.

This time, I found myself in what appeared to be a cross between a middle or high school's library and a Barnes & Noble surrounded by children and teenagers between the ages of 12 to at least 17, and it seemed as if they were leaving when I hear music in the key of F minor, and being sung in a pitch-perfectly haunting style, by a teenage girl that appeared to be a fan of American singer-songwriter and Paramore frontwoman Hayley Williams, even down, eerily, to the dyed red-orange hair; except, unlike Hayley, this character's eyes were brown. If the setting were a library, I would say that it was kind of a mix between the ones at Oberlin (formerly Daniels, thanks to an unfortunate event in the news in May 2020) Middle and Southeast Raleigh Magnet High in Raleigh, NC. If the setting were in a mall, I would probably say that it eerily resembled the Barnes & Noble at the Triangle Town Center, also in Raleigh, as it's on the top floor of the mall. I even noticed some lost characters from dreams from most of the spring of 2020 to at least October 18th and 25th walking out of the place after the beautiful singing from the redheaded girl.

I couldn't tell if the girl was trying to sing like Williams or even Canadian singer-songwriters Avril Lavigne or Felicia "Fefe" Dobson, either, as they have distinct, completely different singing voices. I believe her voice was a little smaller than those three. Come to think of it, I think it sounded like a cross between voice actresses Veronica Taylor, Tara Strong and Nancy Cartwright; I have a memory of a dream from either 1990 or 1991 that had a screaming voice that sounded like a mix between the character Cartwright voices on The Simpsons for 32 years, Bart, and Nick from the 1989 Disney film Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, portrayed by Robert Olivieri, but my four or five-year-old self was too young to process what was going on at the time.

I am also no stranger to dreams of girl characters that think they're Hayley Williams of Paramore. The earliest I can remember my first dream of a character like that was either in 2008-09 or 2009-10, where it was set in a school with creepy 8-bit Nintendo Entertainment System/Game Boy-like music playing in the background as I saw a bad day at school in the eyes of a teenage character that had the unfortunate honor of being sent to detention, and in the room where it was held was a girl with that trademark dyed red-orange hair. The last time I saw a character like that was in 2016, the year my grandmother on my mom's side unfortunately passed. That girl had turquoise hair in at least two dreams. She never showed up again after that. The dream character with the turquoise/hot magenta-colored hair from another entry from December 2019 may have been also been inspired by her, but she didn't sing or apparently have any spoken lines, either.

Like I've said before, I don't have a problem with dreams that provide ideas for writing teen lit/young-adult fiction. I couldn't get anything done most of 2020 due to stress and anxiety over COVID-19, the news, etc., and I'll try to change that for 2021. -WM86/DFW